Butterscotch Meringue Pie
I don't disapprove of the Swingers Lifestyle, as a matter of fact, although I have never actively participated, if I were completely honest, I find the idea of swinging to be very appealing.
I have long since given up the notion that monogamy is normal…as a matter of fact, I honestly believe that it is really, quite rare.
Let's face it…how many people do you know in your circle of friends and acquaintances that are monogamous? A few but, my guess is, not that many.
It's not that I don't believe in the love and companionship of a permanent partner, I do. I just do not believe that most people are capable of monogamy. At least I see little evidence of it.
If you listen to "old school" society, cheating is the act of having sex with someone other than your spouse - case closed.
But what about couples who actively seek the company of other like minded people who just enjoy recreational sex and the social aspects of it? Is that cheating? Is it wrong? Can two people possibly, truly love each other while consenting to sharing their bodies with others? Can they be secure in the love that they feel for one another or must they fear being turned out for someone better found at the latest sexual buffet?
I don't know…
It would seem to me that swinging would be the logical solution to bedroom boredom, a wedge that often drives couples apart. Humans are very social and sexual creatures by nature and it seems unrealistic to expect that they will never stray. Variety is the spice of life.
A couple who are good friends of mine, once explained their need for sex with others like this…"It's not that we don't love each other, we do, very much…we also love banana cream pie but we don't want a steady diet of it…we also want to try the blueberry pie, the pumpkin pie and the butterscotch meringue pie."
Hmmm…Point taken.
There are plenty of people who believe that sex is the ultimate expression of love and that it can only be shared by two people who are in love. Anything else is morally and ethically unacceptable. But those same people also know that many monogamous relationships, perhaps even their own, often slip into comfortable, or sometimes not-so-comfortable boredom.
They share a life together, children, possessions, money - all things that they love and value, but there is no mystery and no excitement - nothing is left to the imagination. They cannot envision life without their spouse, yet they crave something more.
If they allow themselves to be governed by self-imposed, manmade morals and ethics, they are destined to remain together yet uninspired.
So, what are their options?
To challenge the wisdom of those ethics created and modified by man…
They could cheat on each other but, that would ultimately lead to the ruin of an otherwise satisfying relationship due to deceit and jealousy.
They could have an "open" relationship which entitles each to go out on their own and have sex with another. But, is your mind really on the movie you are watching if you know that your spouse is out at that very moment having sex with someone else? I question that one.
Or…
They can choose to share in a totally uninhibited and enjoyable "release" from the stress of everyday life by becoming swingers. The swinger lifestyle allows couples to fulfill their fantasies and lust for passion in a non-judgmental atmosphere while keeping their love and their relationship intact.
Is that so wrong?
Is it possible that more couples would stay together if they just had the nerve to sample the butterscotch meringue pie together?
I know that I am going to get flogged for this one so…let the beatings begin!
I asked for it…tell me what you think!
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Opinions
Teri said:
Well put! We love the variety of swinging–and the increased frequency of sex. And each of us gets pleasure from watching the other playing with other partners!
Eathan said:
Hmmm…I subscribe to your feed… but this seems like a pay per post. I must say i've had a profile on sls and sdc and some other sites. But as a single man. I don't think I would want to be on there as a couple..just not my thing. I'd rather remain single.
Katie said:
hi cindy…i'm in total agreement that a so-called open relationship is not usually a good way to address our need for sexual variety. what that does is to put each partner in the position of potentially falling for someone else. it's not the sex that's the problem. it's the possibility (and the fear of the possibility) that you might lose your partner entirely to someone else. almost no relationship is strong enough to endure such continuous auditioning!
exhibit A could be this post on Such a Cheater.
of course, swinging can come with it's own set of problems. though i must say that in a relationship where both partner swing together, the risks are reduced as much as can be realistically hoped for. the adventure has to be mutual though in order to avoid the problems in exhibit B.
part of me wishes people weren't so damn complicated, but the complexity is what makes it all so much fun!
Mr. Gentlenibbles said:
We totally agree with your thoughts on cheating versus swinging. We actually posted about this recently on our blog as well.
It can be found here if you are interested.
We like your blog and will be checking back with you!