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Are You Tempted To Cheat?
00:50 by Cindy English · 11 Comments
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How many of us if we were 100 percent honest would admit that at some point, we have wanted to cheat on a partner or spouse?
I know that I certainly have and let me say that I consider myself to be a ‘good’ person with sensible moral values. By sensible, I mean that I do try to ‘do the right’ thing in most situations.
However, I do not agree that everything in life is cut and dry, black or white, right or wrong. I think that it depends on the situation and no two are alike.
How many of us have those secret, hidden desires, or fantasies that we would like to act on? How many of us have found ourselves caught up in a moment of forbidden sexual tension with someone other than our partner? A moment that was so heated and so arousing that all reasoning escaped you. Remember…we are being 100 percent honest here!
Hell, if you are alive at all, temptation is everywhere. “Just say no” – right? Easier said than done. Ask any overweight person trying to resist that gorgeous piece of triple fudge chocolate cake. Ask the smoker who has just flushed a whole package of cigarettes only to race out and buy another pack a couple of hours later.
Same difference. We all have our needs, our vices and our addictions.
Some people crave emotional connections, some people enjoy erotic adventures and some people are just plain addicted to sex.
We all deal with our sexual desires and demons in different ways.
- There are a lot of couples who have what is known an “open relationship”. They actively and knowingly seek out other sexual partners.
- There are couples who call themselves “swingers” and together engage in [tag-ice]sexual[/tag-ice] activities with other like-minded couples.
- There are couples where one partner has lost the desire to have sex but does not prohibit the other from seeking it elsewhere.
- There are couples where one or both partners have at sometime given in to the temptation of cheating but still managed to continue a healthy, loving relationship.
- There are couples who have never cheated and wholeheartedly stand by their belief that it is immoral and intolerable.
Who is to say definitively that any one of these lifestyles is right or wrong? Your way is not necessarily my way. What’s right for you, may not be right for me. Doesn’t make either of us wrong!
How we handle the urge to cheat may be the difference between right and wrong. If you feel that you are being drawn into forbidden places consider talking to your partner up front about it.
Surprisingly, many people find their spouse has become just as bored with the routine as you have. Perhaps the two of you will find a way to ‘spice it up’ together. There are alternatives.
If, on the other hand, you are faced with a partner who is unable or unwilling to meet your needs, you have a decision to make. Do you leave or do you cheat?
The decision is yours and yours alone. No one else knows your situation. No one else (in spite of the drivel in the forums) is qualified to judge you. Woman have been scorned for standing by their men – men have been treated with contempt for cheating on their wives.
The notion that the [tag-tec]cheating[/tag-tec] spouse is simply a selfish, heartless human being while the other is completely blameless is not likely.
Think about your own relationship. For every word there is a corresponding thought. For every action there is a reaction. Everything we do, we do for a reason.
Because that reason is not apparent to the world, doesn’t necessarily make it wrong.
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Beautiful Enslavement
I think anyone that says they have not been tempted to cheat is not being 100% honest. I gave in almost 5 years ago after the birth of my daughter. It quickly filled the void for me that was missing in my marriage. My first EX caught me and gave me another chance. The second time he caught me we divorced. So, in my opinion although cheating is dangerous, it is well worth the risk. I would advise anyone in a loveless marriage to go for it. Just don’t sit back and take what life brings you. Yes cheating is very addictive but it’s one of the few bad habits I truly love.
Kelly
JMO…but when we make “excuses” for bad behavior, then we’ve truly lost the whole concept of honesty and morality.. What happened that made it okay to deliberately hurt someone else for the thrill of it? I sit here shaking my head in disbelief!!
The first thing I completely disagree with is your use of excuses. IMHO women today have valid “reasons” they enter into affairs, not “excuses.” In case you haven’t noticed the terrific increase of women involved in affairs I’ll tell you affairs are rapidly becoming socially acceptable for women. There is a new morality evolving. I’m afraid some people do get hurt as the result of affairs. But believe me it’s far from deliberate. It goes with the territory I’m afraid. No one likes lying as well. But it goes without saying lies are necessary to pull off affairs. I’ll repeat myself. The reward is well worth the risk.
Samantha,
Ms. Worthington-Summers obviously has no conscience. I would guess it is pretty convenient for her as she has no guilt resulting from her lies and cheating. Unfortunately there are scores of women out there just like her. My EX in fact did the same number on me that Ms. Worthington-Summers did on her first EX, and without any guilt or remorse. It’s pretty amazing. No, there is no new morality, just way to many unfeeling and immoral women. Sadly it’s fashionable now to be a cheater and a liar.
I feel so torn between my non romantic affair and my little family.
I have been with my husband (common law), for 5 years no and we have a 2 year old. I feel like a horrible person for finding someone that excites me beyond belief. It is High school all over again with this guy. Yet, I am not attached to him, it is only sexual.
My husband, he just depresses me, I feel he makes the worst financial decisions, he is still not grown up at 28 and I just feel like he is dragging me down along with everything else and do not see a good future ahead of us. I adore him and still respect him as a valued member of our family. His hygiene habits have gone down since we met 5 years ago, and he bores me with his negative attitude and ignorance.
I am completely torn. I confessed to him that I was cheating, and was so happy that i got it off my chest he exploded and cheated on me out of revenge which was stupid on his part. We reconciled but I cannot let my lover go. I now am planning in my head how I will sneak out or make up excuses about where I will go to just see this guy for a few hours! I feel that my desire to cheat is so strong, that is the only thing I look forward to even if it happens once every 3 months. It is unexplainable how badly I need that ESCAPE because I am sick of the routine at home, just plain unhappy and bored.
And no, leaving is a very complicated option, since there is custody involved and I am not entirely financially free to be able to support my child on my own. This is very depressing. But I feel I will not sacrifice my own happiness for my husband, he doesn’t give me enough.
what a bitch…
what a bitch…
What a trashy ho.
I dont understand why people post comments just to diss on others. Like the article sais it’s not for others to judge and explain it is a personal decision which i’m sure people take time to think about and hating people for it brings nothing.
im not an expert nor do i ever tend to be but i have experienced being cheated on and i am tempted to cheat on my husband . but yet im scared of what would become of me if i did. i meet my husband when i was a teen and he was 18 i fell in love when i first saw him he was everything i ever wanted the kind of guy my dad would defenitly aprove of we got ingaged within the first month of knowing each other. and years passed we had fights and always made up. on my 18th birthday we decided it was time to get our own place and so we did and as most wemon would guess thangs went good for a time and then my husband witch was only my bf at the time started to get verbally abusive but i thought hes just aggravated or tired he dont mean what he does says i did nothing i still loved him.
well about a half year went by and the abuse got worse so i decited to leave him to take a break and so i did and after about 2 monthes i dated a guy named eddie and hes not anything like my ex and we dated for only a short period of time and i left him cause he wouldn’t quit drinking. but anyway i stayed single for abut 9 monthes after eddie and then one day i went to a party and ran into my ex before eddie and when that happened we got to talking and decided to give it another try. so i moved back in only haveing one condition we get married and so on feb 2009 i got married to my husband and it is now nov 2011 . just so everyone knows i never have cheated on my hsband we were together for going 0n 8 years on and off but when i was with him never not even once did i cheat anyway back to the story in may of 2011 my husband left me for another woman he had been receving pics and text from that i didn’t know about untill it was to late well when he left and i found out i was devistated felt like my hole life had been a lie and for weeks he was gone and i cryed myself to sleep but one night he called and said he was homeless he wanted me back and so as much as i was hurt and as much as i loved him still i went to where he had been and brought him back to our house and when he got back he said he never do it again and he was sorry so i tried to forgive him and it took me monthes to accually forgive him but yet i haven’t forgot the pain i felt . and so we are together now and im somewhat happy and yes i do love my husband and always will . but now its time for me to tell you whats been going on in my head well to begin do you remember eddie if not read again but if you do then thats where ill start see i forgave my husband and scence then hadn’t thought about eddie untill rescently see eddie lives only around 700 ft from outr house and i see him almost every day and ive noticed him looking at me and he’s even said he still loves me but you see eddie is also married to and im not sure what to do but for a long time i’ve been thinking what if i cheated on my husband and then it hits me i realy dont want to lose my husband yet the teptation is very bad i mean i even thank about it when im driveing tring to sleep or listening to music and i do have bad urges to cheat i just hope i can over come my urges cause i dont think two wrongs make a right and it wouldn’t be revenge cause i forgave my husband but i thank its where im deprived of the love and attition i need . but im not passing judgement on anyone cause everyone has there own storys and reasons but know you know mine i haven’t cheated yet and i hope i never do i would rather be sepperated first befor im with eddise if that were to happen but like i said temptation is very strong and only its up to the person how much its woth and to me i dont think its worth looseing almost 8 years but yet i dont know if i can resist it thanks for listening to my story its nice to finally get my fillings out .