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Being In Heat – Why We Girls Need To Cheat!
10:41 by bcalendar · 38 Comments
The other day, I was hanging out with one of my girlfriends and she told me she had something she had to get off her chest. She lives with her boyfriend and loves him, but there is this one guy at work that is hitting on her. The bottom line was, she felt guilty because while she wants to be a good girl, every so often she’s tempted to tell her boyfriend she needs to work late just so she can jump this stud muffin’s bones.
Part of her worried that this meant there were problems in her relationship.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “It means nothing of the sort. It just means you’re normal, healthy woman. And, that you should probably have a little fun with him until you get him out of your system.”
Over coffee, I explained to her why I didn’t think it said anything about her relationship. I offered to be her alibi and gave her advice on how to be naughty while her boyfriend still thinks she’s nice.
Sound shocking? It really isn’t. Women are biologically designed to want to partner with two very different types of men. It’s in our nature and if we deny our nature we are going to end up very, very unhappy in the long term.
Over the years scientists, medical professionals and anthropologists have documented how and why it’s not natural for a woman to faithful to one man. Though, on the other hand it is advantageous for your primary partner to think you are monogamous.
You see, women are programmed by nature to want a solid, reliable long-term partner. Nature did that to ensure there would be someone to protect us from wild animals and make sure our caves were stocked with food, so we would have a safe place to raise our children. These are the men we are emotionally attracted to.
Unfortunately for these types of men, nature doesn’t want us to mate with the guys who stick around and protect us. Nature doesn’t care if he’s smart, funny or has more mammoth hides than any of the other cave dwellers.
Nature wants us to mate with strong, virile men who can beat the shit out of the other men, have strong immune systems and produce the highest quality DNA sperm. These types of testosterone driven men rarely, if ever, make good long-term partners; but they are the ones that get us hot and bothered.
Which means our instincts make us want to marry the types of guys we really don’t want to have sex with, but want to have sex with the types of guys who would make awful marriage material.
This is borne out by recent scientific research into feminine arousal. It seems that during the non-fertile parts of our cycle, we are attracted to sensitive caring men with soft features. But, when we’re ovulating, we suddenly find these types of men to be a turn-off and instead get seriously wet for stud boy cavemen. In fact, the women were shown to be very unlikely to orgasm if they had sex with their primary partner during ovulation, but very likely to experience ecstasy if they cheated during this part of their cycle.
These scientists theorize this came about so we’d have just enough sex with our long-term partners to make them think they were the fathers of our children – and therefore help us care for them – while also making it less likely we’d mate with these men when we were fertile.
Ever wonder why in so many upper middle class households, the children often look a lot more like the gardener or pool boy then they do the woman’s husband? Nature doesn’t care that they don’t have great jobs or social graces. Nature just cares that they are real men.
That’s why I told my friend not to feel bad about her urges. It doesn’t mean she didn’t love her boyfriend – it just means she needs to get serviced by a stud a couple times a month.
Photo by Graeme Weatherston
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You know, I have always believed that women could be in love with two men at the same time for many of the reasons sited in this article but…geez…this article just makes women sound selfish and tacky!
BB,
I don’t think it makes them sound selfish – if they are only doing what comes naturally.
Thank God for paternity test’s.
What a load of crap. Justifying cheating? Give me a break. There IS no justification. It’s still wrong.
This article is nauseating at best. It’s not all about you, precious.
And I agree with Kris W. Women like you give men reason to *need* paternity tests.
this is what i think….
science is science…whether it is proven or not. I feel as though you should have advised your friend to rethink her relationship. what if she liked this guy, what if she wanted to make him the long term partner. or what if she didnt, and she just boned him and her BF found out through the grapevine, it would have caused an plethora of problems, he could be damaged emotionally, he could have lost hope in women affecting his confidence and self-image, STD’s, or… these days people are nutz, what if the BF god forbid killed them both? two families would have suffered due to the miss use of trust. trust is so hard to find these days, i think if you want to take advantage of you natural instincts, in my opinion…i think that should be discussed with you partner, because that is how mature relationships are handled. a relationship is work…hell yea its hard, but if you want the money ya gotta work for it right?
i would consider myself an attractive male…i date a wonderful girl who i am working on trusting fully as well she is with me. i really care about this girl, and i could easily get it on with another girl if i had the urge…i mean i am a guy…we are suppose too, but i value her trust and our respect for one another…..if you feel like having these urges and following through with them,…id advise you to ponder on whether or not you want to be committed.
next time u advise ur friends….make sure u tell them u walked in on ur mom bangin the gardner and thats why ur views on trust and relationships are like my ass hole….
if u guys agree with this chica…thats fine….its proven…i guess. but if ur involved…and your home making dinner for your man (when ur not ovulating) and he is giving it to another broad…..would u be ok with it
if ur friend went threw with it…she’s trash….us fellas are smart…especially us city boys….we sharp
I would advise “I Talian” to lean basic English language skills before he makes a public comment.
out of all i wrote, u talk about my how i typed it? thanks spell check…
I’m not sure whether the science is true but it does make sense to me, however it is well within someone to make they’re own jusdgment, whether the friend went out and got laid becaiuse of it just means she wanted an excuse to do it. Its about choices. If the shoe was on the other foot and this article was about man instead of a women there would be a long list of women making outraged comments. Being a women myself I think its merely a case of wanting your cake and eating it- I’m not saying its wrong or right- it’s understandable but don’t try to deceive others into thinking its about genetic make up. Ultimately you decide which path you go down.
I’m one of the alpha males you girls come for when you’re in heat. But at some point (maybe in a decade or so) I would like to settle down, and I sure as hell will not pick one of these well used cum dumpsters.
My advice to all self-respecting guys out there is to just use women however they will let you. Then when you find one worthy of your emotions, sign a prenup. Either that, or just keep a good thing going without making it official. Making it official fucks up your life. Besides, she will get old, fat, saggy, boring or all of the above at some point. Let some loser take care of her then while you go looking for some fresh, tight, young and hot piece of ass.
One a side note, the write of this article put this up not because she believes what she writes or even agrees with it but because she wants to generate controversy and get some hits. If you’re hot, I expect something in return and maybe even a sandwich after.
I forgot to add that I love this article because no matter what you say, women are not capable of separating their physical and emotional intimacies. Men are fully equipped to do so. And so, an article like this makes it quite clear that we have been doing nothing wrong and are encouraged to continue along this path.
But yes, as previous posters have warned, always do a paternity test. With the new technology on the market, now you can get it done even while she is pregnant. There is no excuse not to get a paternity test especially after you read about Lord Mansfield’s Rule. You can check it out here or just google it.
http://dontmarry.wordpress.com/2007/06/27/lord-mansfields-rule/
Jeremy;
You are quite the silly man! You obviously have spent much of your time with beta females, and have not tangled with an Alpha!
As an Alpha female, I can assure you that you are so wrong about us not being able to separate our physical and emotional selves. I, as well as many friends, can and do compartmentalize very well! I have had more than one affair, more than one long-term affair, and have managed both them and my marriage quite nicely.
I take care of my family, work hard at my career, cook and clean, and do my “wifely duties”.
I then find time once or twice, or sometimes three or four times a week depending on schedules to have a wonderful, hot, messy, sexy, sensual, time with my lover.
I am not a cum dumpster, nor am I all over the place, I am careful in all that I do.
Prenup? My husband should have signed one! I make more than he and most men that I know do!
My husband has fathered two children, and raised only his own blood.
At almost 50 I am in my prime, and am in better shape than I’ve ever been in; I have younger guys approach me all the time. I am not by any means old, fat, or boring. I am clean, attractive, educated, fun and funny, and very fit.
You are so mistaken about the women of today. We have evolved, taking on change better than most men do.
IF you’re hot, you can make me my next sandwich!
I’m not looking for an excuse for my affair. My husband does not take care of my sexual needs and I’ve found relief elsewhere. So my affair is completely justified. However, this article certainly articulates the fact that we women were made to have sex with multiple partners. The fact that we’re attracted to two different types of men certainly seems believable to me.
Andrea,
I also think a lot more women have affairs than people think. I think women are just better at being discreet about it.
I think you’re so right Bart. Women are so much better at taking care of those little bothersome details that will get you caught. Whereas men rush headlong into an affair with their zipper down and no thought other than the hot piece at hand. And women have Soooooo many more opportunities. Men have to plan and scheme to convince women to have sex with them. All we have to do is say, “YES.” And I might add, at times it’s YES, YES, YES. It is very possible to get hit with proposals for sex by more than one guy at a time.
Look, I’ve gotten to the point where I’m starting to accept infidelity as a mainstay in our culture even though I will never approve of it. To me, there are two classes of infidelity: Despicable and Slightly-Less-Despicable. The latter is the kind where one parter is not meeting the needs of the other and they need to look elsewhere to fill those needs. This is the most common type of infidelity and at least there is a small part of it that is understandable.
But why cheat when you don’t need to? The author’s friend says she loves her boyfriend and there aren’t any problems in their relationship. Just because women have sexual urges for someone other than their partner doesn’t mean they should act on them.
I also want to mention that we should stop comparing ourselves to the early humans of the cavemen days. Times have changed. Nowadays is it acceptable to kill someone we are angry with? That’s what they did in the cavemen days. Just because women cheated on their partners millions of suns ago doesn’t mean we can justify those actions today. Urges? Yes. Nothing wrong with sexual urges. That is “science.” But choosing not to act on those urges will set you apart from the original man species. Humans have evolved physically and it is time to evolve emotionally.
Mufesto,
You don’t approve of infidelity but you’ve accepted it as a mainstay in our culture. I think that’s wise on your part because adultery is quickly becoming a social norm, especially for women. People expect women to take lovers now and we don’t disappoint them. Why cheat if you don’t need too? Someone else said it on here. Some guys are too hot to pass up. If you get the opportunity, you’ll regret it if you don’t act on those sexual urges.
Andrea,
I agree. It’s also, as a guy, hot enough to know that your partner is attractive enough and has enough of a libido to have affairs every so often.
As long as she comes home to me, I’m cool with her having her fun, and it seems to help our sex life in the long run.
Bart has the perfect attitude for a husband. Too bad all husbands don’t have the same attitude about affairs as Bart. It would make a dramatic impact on the divorce rate. Don’t get me wrong. I think divorce is a good thing. But it’s such a waste when everything is working between husband and wife except the sex and they divorce because the husband can’t handle her having affairs. In my case I know if my husband ever catches me in an affair we will ultimately divorce. And we’re pretty compatible in all areas except sexual. But he would never be able to handle knowing I’m having sex outside our marriage. We all know about the evolution women have gone through with such a documented increase for women in affairs. Most married women I know are in an affair, about to begin one, or between affairs. Hopefully more husbands will realize if they want to remain married they have to look the other way with regard to their wives. Hopefully more and more husbands will develop the attitude Bart has.
Andrea,
That’s the thing. Nearly every female friend I have who I know well has had an affair, is having an affair or planning her next affair.
It doesn’t hurt the relationship, if anything it helps it.
How are you and your husband not sexually compatible?
Questions for Andrea:
1. It doesn’t seem like you are worried about STDs and/or pregnancy. Well, if you are, you didn’t mention it. Giving your husband an STD would obviously be a giveaway, but what would you do if your lover got you pregnant? Would you try to pass that child off as your husband’s? Or would you come clean about how you really got pregnant?
2. Even though it is unlikely, how would you react if your husband told you he was having an affair with another woman? Would you be angry with him or would you understand and forgive him because of your situation?
Bart,
I’m afraid my husband and I are totally different sexually, to put it nicely. We have sex once, maybe twice a week and it’s pretty much worthless from my perspective. He fires his cannon and that’s it. He doesn’t like oral which is unfortunate for me since he is so quick on the trigger. Obviously we could drop it to once a month and that would be a gracious plenty for me. Good SEX? I would want it at least once in the morning and once at night. I had an opportunity to spend the night recently with my lover. I don’t have to tell you we were at it all night. And I realize that’s the difference in married sex and extramarital sex. Hahahaha – make it extramarital sex for me!!!!!!
Mufesto,
STD’s are always a concern. My lover and I used condoms until I felt safe with him. I would say it was almost two months before the condoms came off. Yes, I realize you don’t get any guarantees. STDs are a legitimate concern. But then I could get STDs from my husband too, right? As far as getting pregnant, that’s not a possibility. I’m on birth control pills. You can’t walk out in front of an oncoming truck, you can’t get pregnant by your lover. If for some ridiculous reason I did become pregnant I would NOT claim the child was my husband’s. That’s stupidity and the truth is easily resolved. I don’t think you would have an option other than coming clean about the pregnancy.
Too bad my husband isn’t having an affair. But if he did make an admission to that effect I would be delighted. I would quickly get ready, inform him we now have an open marriage, and I have to leave for a date. I would love to give an open marriage a try.
What a Crock of Shit… This article only justifies women being unfaithful. I hope this chick ends up by herself.
Andrea: “But then I could get STDs from my husband too, right?”
No. He cannot give you an STD unless he has sex with another woman. I did some research on this in college and the “hot tub” thing is a myth. An STD is exactly that, “Sexually Transmitted Disease.” You can’t get one from sharing a hot tub, shower, or bathtub with someone who has an STD. Skin-on-Skin contact only.
I’m glad you wouldn’t pin another man’s child on your husband. There are women who do that. You are not completely moral-less. I will have DNA testing done on all of my future children to make sure they are indeed mine.
You should also be fortunate that your husband is not aware of the popularity and intricacies of infidelity. I’m sure you’re aware that your husband could catch you if he was more educated on this stuff. I guess you better hope he doesn’t stumble upon a site like this.
HELL TO THE YEAH
Mufesto,
My husband is not even suspicious yet. And yes, he has no idea about the epedemic of women in affairs. A couple of my girlfriends have recently divorced as a result of their affairs. But when I informed him of their divorces he wasn’t even interested enough to ask why. Believe me I did not volunteer any information. But you’re right. If he did come across this website or many others, it would change things dramatically as far as my chances of getting caught.
“Women are biologically designed to want to partner with two very different types of men.”
Doesn’t the same thing apply for men? We would like to marry the woman that would treat us well and be a good mother to our children. On the flip side, we would like to have sex with the woman who can fuck like a porn star but is not girlfriend/wife material.
It is much hard for men to find a woman who can be both a good wife and a good lover. Women are socialized to think sex is a bad thing. So instead of honing there sex skills to compete with the promiscuous women, they focus on being a good partner and good mother.
It’s amazing how similar men and women are in terms of wanting to pair up with two very different types of people.
William,
You make an excellent point about both sexes wanting to pair up with two very differenet types of people. However, your group you labeled as being good girlfriend/wife material is becoming smaller by the day. So where do they disappear? Why honing up ton heir sex skills with a new lover of course.
fuck that bitch shes a stupid whore if every guy was like that we would bang every pussy that we see
Top 7 Reasons Women Have Affairs
1. Improves self-esteem She enjoys the attention and compliments about her abilities as well as her body.
2. New and varied sexual experience She feels freer to experiment and explore with a lover than with her husband
3. Emotional connection she desires emotional closeness and intimacy
4. Loneliness she needs someone to talk with who will listen to her
5. Deeper understanding of self she learns from exploring her feelings and thoughts with someone who cares for her
6. Feel younger and sexier her lover’s desire for her sexually makes her feel playful and free
7. fear of aging she is afraid getting older will eliminate her attractiveness to men
Hey, no doubt about it, the risk is worth the reward for women in affairs!!!!!!
It’s this sort of ideas that makes me dislike secular society.
I can see now why men should never trust woman, and why for countless eons thought so low of us. If this is true, which I am mixed on if it is because it hasn’t been my experience then I would say all the sexism and horrid idea about woman might well have been justified for all these centuries.
This article is just full of crxp. Justifying cheating by explaing the biological theory. Whoever wrote this must not have been in a relationship.
“Women are biologically designed to want to partner with two very different types of men.”
That does not give any woman a full time right to cheat on their partners; lets say in this way, neither shoud men do it! If you are not satified with your partner, dumphim, break up with him and or simply leave him. Let me ask you this, biologically male animals tend to mate with more than one female, like monkeys or lions… Does that mean its reasonable for us to cheat on our wifes/girlfriends? Give me a damn break. Both sex when facing problems should try to fix it in stead of ignoring it. I feel really unfortune for your female friend to have a friend who is like you. Pathetic!
this article and some of the comments are crazy stupid! The Andrea women who says she is 50+ going out and being banged by any fella with a working erection is clearly an insecure little tramp and a total user!! you think you gain an emotional connection with a guy who is using you to scratch an itch?? your mad or a moron, or both! and emotional security? that comes from a loving relationship which you abuse your poor husband for and in the meantime your sexing it up with every half wit ape looking bum that crosses your path. Call it what you want but sooner or later you will end up alone and no one will find you attractive, and to be honest being a young man myself i see tramps like you out on the town all the time…its sickening to say the least!
new era of women my butt, just a new era of low life tramps who think they can do what they want by using some poorly researched article to justify it! if everything is based on pre historic man then lets bring back the wooden clubs, wack every girl we fancy over the head and nail who we want when we want yeah? you happy with that andrea? what am i saying of course you are!! you know what would have happened had a pre historic man found his women cheating?? he’d kill them both and go on his way to find the next young insecure girl in his path…this whole article lacks intelligence on so many different levels and women that agree with it, you have my pity you clearly have no idea what love with someone you truly are attracted to is…morons!
also where the hell is the reference to the research paper that backs up these ridiculous claims?? the idea that you get better dna from a dim witted ape like man rather than the intelligent successful husband is absurd…not only that but please tell me where the hell a women reaching menopause gets off saying that shes cheating on her husband because shes in search of the correct genes? so many flaws with this “research” and any women that is backing this up is in absolute denial over any wrong doing in their lives, be responsible for your actions! oh and i got it wrong andrea did not say she was 50…kellie did…who is apparently an “Alpha” female that earns loads of money….one you sound like an arrogant alpha male, if thats evolution then fantastic…and by the way im young guy, and i’ve approached older women before…when i’ve been going through a dry patch been incredibly drunk and needed an easy lay! I’m not proud of it, in fact i’ve felt really bad about it but at least i had an excuse and not cheating!! value your husband, or let him find someone that will!!
While this is true, such women if and when found out end up losing everything and their whole life goes for a toss since for sure you will get caught.Its quiet natural and Is an animal instinct, but we aint animals,prudence is the best advice.Besides you can do this to only certain types of men,and get away with it.
If the husband is a perfectly fine,sane and loving guy and the wife acknowledges this and still cheats. this is just another self deluding excuse for the base character a women has,therefore bad blood,bad genes,bad parents,abusive behavior, an intelligence of a bird which one can ideally summarize and call a “Slut” .
Every girl should cheat and plus it is in our nature to go for a fit, strong, attractive man.