Polyamory as a structured relationship is hard to describe. It does, as the word insinuates, involve loving more than one person at a time - "loving" being a committed, intimate bond with multiple partners rather than one of a purely sexual nature.

Because there are no predetermined rules that define what is "polyamory", it must be considered more a "lifestyle" choice than an institution such as marriage. The rules are created and modified by everyone in a polyamorial group as the relationships within it evolved.

• But who would choose such a lifestyle?
• Is it really possible to love more than one person?
• How does one "commit" to and intimate relationship with multiple partners when humans in general, seem to have difficulty committing to anything these days?
• What are the positives to this type of "group intimacy"?
• How do you avoid conflict and jealousy when spreading yourself thinly amongst several partners?
• Where does one find the time for such involvement?
• Can it really work?

Sounds complicated…and time consuming!

Scott Lee has written an interesting article that further examines The Ups and Downs of Polyamory. It's worth a read if you are involved in or considering becoming involved in this type of relationship.

Yes, polyamory can work…but only for a select few. Basically, I don't think a majority of us are open to this kind of "sharing"!
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Polyamory - A Fancy Word For "Cheating"?

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Having never considered the "alternatives" to monogamy, I was unfamiliar with the term "polyamory".

Poly - many Amore - love Polyamory - many loves

Wow - group sex right?

Well maybe, maybe not. Depends on what "the group" wants!

By definition, polyamory is the desire, practice and acceptance of having more than one, intimate relationship at a time.

Since this lifestyle requires that all parties involved know about and accept each other into their "group," polyamory is not considered "cheating".

Cheating, apparently can only be committed when you "break the rules". But, since the rules are vague and must be determined by the group, I would think that "misunderstandings" could happen quite easily.

All people in the group may be sexually active with each other. That is acceptable. Cheating only occurs when a member of the group has a sexual encounter with someone outside of their group. Fidelity is expected.

Fidelity?

Amongst a group of free willed, free loving people? Yup. They call it "polyfidelity" - a sexually exclusive commitment to multiple partners.

So, if you cheat in this type of relationship, you have more than one person to answer to!

Polyamorists consider their lifestyle to be more ethical than serial monogamy because they do not discard lovers to make room for new ones. After all, a polyamorous relationship is not supposed to be about sex; it's about building a romantic and meaningful relationship with more than one person at a time.

Okay…if you say so.

Polyamory is not to be misunderstood as "swinging" either. Swingers focus on recreational sex whereas polyamorists are focused on intimacy, trust and deep emotional bonds.

I am not even going to pretend that I think this type of relationship would work well for most people because I don't. Human beings are by nature, very competitive. I can't help but think that jealously would rear it's ugly head more than once in a polyamorial living situation.

People have a hard enough time staying on the straight and narrow and "answering" to one partner. Imagine trying to keep multiple partners happy? Nope…not for me! Not wrong…just not for me.

However, I have only touched on the topic of polyamory here. As with everything, there are two sides, two ways of looking at things and Franklin Veaux does an excellent job of explaining and rationalizing his chosen lifestyle.

It is a very interesting and in-depth look at one alternate "lifestyle". For me, it conjures up images of the 60's, Woodstock, "free love" and communal living.

"Love the one your with?"

What do you think?
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