Valentine's Day can be a real bitch for cheaters can't it?

Damn right!

What other day of the year could possibly be more hazardous to a philanderer than this day especially set aside for sweethearts?

You have both a spouse and a lover to please and believe me, at least one of them is expecting more than just a "token" of your appreciation!

If you have been married for awhile, you can probably get away with the standard card/chocolates/flowers with your spouse, but your lover? Ahh…it's going to take a little more than that to keep your "side dish" warm.

If you are busy playing on both sides of the fence…BE WARNED! The stakes are high. This is no time for careless slip ups.

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Hey, check this out. I found this site called Reality Wanted tonight.

It's a membership site where you can find all of the latest Reality TV casting calls for shows like Dancing With The Stars, The Bachelor, Extreme Makeover etc.

I always wondered how they found all the whacked out people that get on these crazy reality shows like Jerry Springer…now I know.

It's free to join and all you do is post your profile and pics. The casting directors post notices for upcoming casting calls and will search the Reality Wanted data base to see if there is anyone that interests them.

So why am I telling you this?

Because they just posted a new casting call…

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What the heck is an "emotional affair" anyway? Is it cheating? Doesn't cheating on your spouse or partner require that you have sex with someone else?

I recently stumbled upon an excellent resource for anyone researching the topic of infidelity. Straight From The Heart is an excellent site hosted by licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Sheri Meyers Gantman.

She hosts her own talk show (which is nothing like "Sex with Sue"…than goodness!) where she interviews leading experts in psychology, relationships, health and personal growth.

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This song is for all of the guys out there who are considering cheating on their wives.

Maybe you had better think twice!



OUCH!

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Married dating - isn't that a contradiction of terms? Or at the very least a conflict of interests?

"Back in the day", you could be married, or, you could be dating. You could not be both!

Now it seems that married dating is very common if not almost "acceptable".

Whoa! When did this happen?

Dating use to be a prelude to marriage. Now it's done before, during and after marriage with the Internet being a gateway to what was once a forbidden zone.

With the wonders of the WWW, we are like kids in a candy store. Never before has it been so easy to "hook up" with others looking for the romance and sex that they feel they aren't getting at home.

Chat rooms, instant messaging, email and web cams are the "tools of the trade" used by millions of men and women to carry on "harmless" cyber affairs. Because no human touch is involved, it can't be considered cheating - right?

Cyber cheaters justify their behavior as an innocent way to recapture some of that lost excitement. The anonymity of it all, gives people the courage to discuss fantasies and desires that they never would talk about with their spouses.

Why?

Online rejection is far less painful than the real thing and if things get out of hand, you can just sign off - no apologies and no excuses needed.

The trouble with cyber affairs is that they often do not stay in cyber space!

Women, generally get involved in cyber affairs looking for romance and emotional support while the men look for sex. The excitement and arousal experienced during cyber flirting often causes good judgment to go by the wayside. Things escalate and first contact by phone is made.

From there, as Dr. Dave Greenfield of Psychjourney reports, 31 percent of these cyber affairs go on to become the "real thing".

It seems then, that cyber affairs are well on their way to becoming the number one cause of adultery and divorce.

Things have gotten so far out of hand that even an innocent lunch between business acquaintances falls prey to suspicion these days. And who can blame us?

Is there a solution?

Marriage therapists believe that pre-marital counseling and discussing what role the Internet will play in a couple's relationship should be mandatory.

Will it help?

Many good people have succumbed to temptation despite forewarnings. Eve did.

Seems a lot like telling your kid to stay out of the cookie jar while you are away!

Yeah…right!
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The question is as old as the problem itself…

Why do men cheat?

Is monogamy really a myth?

Are guys predestined to cheat because it is human nature?

Scientists have long explained that men are biologically motivated to seek out multiple sex partners. This natural instinct ensures a healthy gene pool and the survival of our species.

If this is true, then one cannot expect fidelity from a man. It kind of lets guys off the hook when they wander doesn't it?

So why do they feel guilty? If it is a man's biological right to have sex wherever, whenever, with whomever, why should they worry about being caught?

Because somewhere along the way, self imposed "ethics" and "morality" placed restrictions on human behavior…including sex!

Perhaps if guys didn't seem to derive such pleasure from sex, it wouldn't be such a sin. Think about it. If sex with multiple partners were just another "chore" for men as cleaning house and cooking meals is to women, would we get upset about it?

Probably not…poor guys!

Nevertheless…men do enjoy sex…a lot…and not always with their partner!
Here are their Top 10 reasons…

I'd like to say that they are in no particular order but, we all know what guys say is the number one reason that they cheat. Remember ladies, the jokes about sex ending when marriage begins, wouldn't be funny if there weren't some truth to them!

1. Not getting enough at home! Women tend to get caught up in "life" and sex gets put on the "back burner". She may be bent over helping the kids tie their shoes but he's still looking at her "nice ass". God…is that all they think about?
2. It's reassuring to know that he's still "got it". Time has a way of making us all feel less sexy and desirable. A little forbidden rendezvous can be a real shot to a sagging male ego.
3. The wife just isn't physically appealing anymore. Face it, women do tend to let themselves go. Often they get too busy raising their families and neglect themselves. They are too tired to put on make up or do those thigh slimming exercises. The result? A sexy new secretary and whatdayaknow…"Honey…I have to work late"!
4. Sex at home is boring. The wife doesn't like to try new things (or old things - namely, blow jobs!). To men, variety is the spice of life and he may have some sexual urges that his wife is not willing to fulfill. He may have some ideas that he would rather his wife didn't know about. Can you say "manage-a-trios"?
5. He just couldn't say no. The woman was hot and all over him. It just seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity…too good to pass up. This is where the phrase "thinking with their little head" came from!
6. The wife just isn't fun anymore. She worries, she nags, she fusses and they fight all of the time. He cheats to "get away from it all".
7. He just doesn't love his wife anymore. And just how do you tell someone that tactfully? It is easier to have an affair than it is to deal with the pain and emotional upheaval of such a confession. On the other hand…if he is caught cheating? Well, the door is then opened for a speedy exit!
8. The thrill of the chase is exhilarating. Some men are truly addicted not only to the act of sex itself, but to the hunt. They thrive on the rush they get when they are able to conquer even the toughest "ice queen". It's not about love, it's about control and winning!
9. They cheat because they can. Many men know that their wives are insecure and dependant on them. They also know that low self esteem and a fear of being alone will keep her "in place" and "at home" no matter what, or who they do. So, why not? Variety - remember?
10. And finally, men cheat to get even! It is an absolute blow to the male ego for his sexual prowess to be in question. Why else would a woman cheat on him? His own affair as a result, serves two purposes, revenge and reassurance of manhood.

There you have it…the Top 10 reasons why men say that they cheat on their wives or partners.

Are any of them "excuseable"?
Mmmm…a couple…maybe (although most women won't agree).

Are any of them "preventable"?
Of course.

Although monogamy may not human nature…it is a choice!
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