How did it go so wrong?

Have you ever asked yourself that?

Have you ever sat there and wondered how two people who were so much in love ended up where you are now?

Me too. Been there. Done that. "Have the t-shirt"… as they say.

Thinking about my own failed marriage, I realize that each step directly influenced the next which in turn has led me to where I am today.

I'm no expert but if I could sum up the failure of marriages everywhere is one sentence it would be this…

All marriages that fail are due to a series of unintentional misunderstandings!

We don't go into relationships planning to fail…

Continue reading—>

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Filed under Calling It Quits, Relationships At Risk by Cindy English.
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This article is just my rambling thoughts about serial monogamy or multiple marriages.

I have been thinking more about "Julie", the woman I spoke of in the article "Children Are The Real Victims Of Infidelity".

Apart from a fear of being alone, I think that money, or rather the lack or it, is a serious factor in serial monogamy.

Continue reading—>

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Filed under Starting Over, Relationships At Risk by Cindy English.
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If I had to pick the one thing responsible for both the best and the worst of relationships, it would be the mind.

The mind is a very powerful thing and sex and relationships are very much a mind game.

Have you ever seen a beautiful person with a rather homely partner and wondered why?

If you really think about it, we love people because of the way they make us feel about ourselves.

It's not because they are good looking, or great in bed, or who they are…it is about whether or not they make us feel good about ourselves.

Look at it this way…

Continue reading—>

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Filed under Staying Together by Cindy English.
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Knowing or suspecting that your spouse is cheating on you is devastating. It can create an emotional tidal wave that you will find almost impossible to control.

You will experience shock, anger, disbelief, confusion, hate, love, self-doubt, fear, depression, and low self-esteem all in a continuous, stomach churning succession. Having been there, I can tell you that nothing will drain you faster both physically and mentally than discovering your partner's infidelity.

The events that unfold upon discovery will seem almost surreal. Where do you go from there? How do you get through it?

This video from licensed marriage and family therapist, Dr. Sheri Meyers Gantman provides you with some very wise advice. She is absolutely right when she says "ask", don't "accuse" your partner if you want the truth.

If you approach a cheater in anger, their survival mechanism kicks in. They will lie, deny and turn the tables on you. Before long, you will feel like the whole thing is your fault!

If you approach in a calm, inquiring way, they are far more likely to be honest with you and discuss the affair. Then, you have a choice. You can either work together to repair your marriage or…you can unleash your pent up anger and get even!

It's been done both ways…the choice is yours!





VideoJug: If Your Spouse Is Cheating




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    The "Relationship Doctor" - Bob Grant, has just released his newest book - "How To Get The Man Of Your Dreams".

    I became a fan of Bob Grant's after recently reading one of his books entitled "How Do I Get Him Back?"

    I liked his approach - don't focus on each other's faults - understand each other's differences!

    For any woman confused as to why her man has left and how to get him back, this book will provide some answers.

    It will also help to determine if you really want him back!
    I highly recommend it.




    This latest book is also quite good!

    "How To Get The Man Of Your
    Dreams"
    is for any woman who has yet to find "Mr. Right".

    What I took away from this book was a sense that women too often allow pure emotion guide their choice in a when in fact, a little practicality is needed.

    It makes sense!

    You don't just buy a car because it smells new and looks pretty, you also check to see if it suits your needs. Does it have enough leg room? Is is good on gas? Does it have a good warranty? Comfortable seats? How about the sound system?

    We are picky when making other choices in our life, yet when it comes to choosing our mates, we often let the "heat of the moment" cloud our judgment leaving us disappointed later.

    Yup! Been there - done that!

    In Bob's book, he leads you down a path of self discovery before you even begin your first date with someone new. He teaches you to identify the "non-negotiable" qualities, the things you "must have" in your ideal partner. This should be a very important step in finding the man of your dreams! I think too many women "settle" for less than they hoped for in a man. According to Bob Grant, it is not necessary for any woman to do this.

    Understanding how a woman's behavior is perceived by a man is very useful and the book offers a step by step behavior plan for your first six dates to ensure that you give your prospective husband the right impression!

    One very good bit of advice for first dates…

    Let him do the talking and do not volunteer too much information too soon. The one who is "listening" is the one who is in control and you want to be the one in control. This will make perfect sense to you once you read the book!

    This book leaves no stone unturned. It tells you everything you need to know to find, capture and marry the man of your dreams within the next twelve months!

    • Where should you look?
    • How long should your first date last?
    • What about ?
    • Is he the marrying type?
    • What is his "lover trigger"? No…that is not it! I know what you are thinking! ;)

    I think the book is definitely worth the money. If I had one complaint, it would not be about the book itself. It would be that, as I have always suspected, men "frighten" easily. You must be gentle with them or risk scaring them away.

    Big babies!

    What it all boils down to is this…getting a good man requires patience and applied behavior modification techniques.

    It is also prudent to remember your mother's warning…

    "Why buy the cow when you can milk it through the fence?"

    "How To Get The Man Of Your
    Dreams"





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    I was one of the walking wounded…the cheated.

    My story is not "unique" by any stretch of the imagination.

    In fact, it is almost a cliché!

    Sadly, hundreds of good women will see themselves in my story. But, just because it is so familiar, doesn't make it any less painful for each woman who endures it.

    Let me tell you what I have learned.

    At 20, I married my long time friend and lover. He was a handsome 'bad boy' who was fun and had a terrific sense of humor. He was very spontaneous and he was great in bed! What else could any young girl possibly wish for?

    We were young, "in love", and having the time of our lives. We hung out with our friends, we partied hard, went games, concerts and everything else that was 'important' in life.
    Continue reading—>

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    Filed under Calling It Quits, Why Do We Cheat? by Cindy English.





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