The "Relationship Doctor" - Bob Grant, has just released his newest book - "How To Get The Man Of Your Dreams".

I became a fan of Bob Grant's after recently reading one of his books entitled "How Do I Get Him Back?"

I liked his approach - don't focus on each other's faults - understand each other's differences!

For any woman confused as to why her man has left and how to get him back, this book will provide some answers.

It will also help to determine if you really want him back!
I highly recommend it.




This latest book is also quite good!

"How To Get The Man Of Your
Dreams" is for any woman who has yet to find "Mr. Right".

What I took away from this book was a sense that women too often allow pure emotion guide their choice in a husband when in fact, a little practicality is needed.

It makes sense!

You don't just buy a car because it smells new and looks pretty, you also check to see if it suits your needs. Does it have enough leg room? Is is good on gas? Does it have a good warranty? Comfortable seats? How about the sound system?

We are picky when making other choices in our life, yet when it comes to choosing our mates, we often let the "heat of the moment" cloud our judgment leaving us disappointed later.

Yup! Been there - done that!

In Bob's book, he leads you down a path of self discovery before you even begin your first date with someone new. He teaches you to identify the "non-negotiable" qualities, the things you "must have" in your ideal partner. This should be a very important step in finding the man of your dreams! I think too many women "settle" for less than they hoped for in a man. According to Bob Grant, it is not necessary for any woman to do this.

Understanding how a woman's behavior is perceived by a man is very useful and the book offers a step by step behavior plan for your first six dates to ensure that you give your prospective husband the right impression!

One very good bit of advice for first dates…

Let him do the talking and do not volunteer too much information too soon. The one who is "listening" is the one who is in control and you want to be the one in control. This will make perfect sense to you once you read the book!

This book leaves no stone unturned. It tells you everything you need to know to find, capture and marry the man of your dreams within the next twelve months!

• Where should you look?
• How long should your first date last?
• What about sex?
• Is he the marrying type?
• What is his "lover trigger"? No…that is not it! I know what you are thinking!

I think the book is definitely worth the money. If I had one complaint, it would not be about the book itself. It would be that, as I have always suspected, men "frighten" easily. You must be gentle with them or risk scaring them away.

Big babies!

What it all boils down to is this…getting a good man requires patience and applied behavior modification techniques.

It is also prudent to remember your mother's warning…

"Why buy the cow when you can milk it through the fence?"

"How To Get The Man Of Your
Dreams"




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This has got to be the world's dumbest question
Here's my answer:

Ummm…because they are not blind???

Ladies, how can you expect your man not to look at that sexy woman that just passed by?

He's normal isn't he?

He's just married to you, he's not dead.

It is positively stupid, but women do expect their men to just "quit looking" the minute they commit to a relationship.

Is that reasonable? You know that men are very visual. That's how you snagged him in the first place isn't it?

Face it, a well tanned, toned, scantily clad female body is a thing of beauty - to anyone.

Everyone knows it.
Guys drool over it.
Women count it.
Advertisers thrive on it.

Why?

I think it was "Sable" from World Wrestling Entertainment fame who said it best:

"For all the men who come to see me and all the women who want to be me…"

Hey guys…here's a little secret. You know that hot babe that you were just looking at? Your wife was looking too!

What? No way!

Yup. Women look at other women. Women check out men's magazines. Women watch porn.

No, not "kinky"…you wish! A lot of women are very critical, self conscious and insecure about their bodies. They look because they are curious.

Some women have questions about their bodies but are too embarrassed to ask anyone, so they "compare" themselves to others to see if they are normal.

Sometimes, they just want to know if they "measure up" or if they've "still got it".

As for the porn…

A Ladies Home Journal survey found that 47% of women reported using erotica or pornography to heighten their sexual experiences.

So, the next time you want to gawk at that sexy chick crossing the street try to include your wife in the experience. You could say something like:

"Honey, that woman is really pretty, it's just too bad she doesn't have a beautiful, well rounded ass like you do."

While your wife is appreciating you criticism of the woman's flawed rear end, you will have a few more seconds to zero in on her nearly perfect boobs!

Seriously though…ladies, unless your husband trips over his tongue and inadvertently pushes you under a passing bus while looking at that other women…lighten up!

Misplaced jealously can create unnecessary problems in a relationship!


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I am pretty sure that most people that have heard of Dr. John Gray Ph.D., the author of the famous best selling book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

The book was published back in 1992. It's old but definitely not outdated!

A friend of mine gave me my copy long ago during one of my heightened states of confusion about males!

If you haven't read it, I recommend it. You can find it on his site, MarsVenus.com You may not agree with everything in there because I think it does "excuse" a lot of men's thoughtlessness, however it also explains it!

It does give both sides a different perspective on things.

I have always believed that men and women were from different planets and this book illustrates just how different we really are.

As couples, we are constantly misunderstanding each other's motives and that leads to trouble! One misunderstanding leads to another and another. Communication stops and two people who were once in love, are out looking for someone new who "understands them". Let the cheating begin!

Here's a little example:

Ladies, have you ever wondered why, when you suggest a solution to an obvious problem your husband or partner is having, he gets upset with you?

Ten minutes later, his best buddy offers the same suggestion and your husband thinks it's the best idea he has heard all day? He follows through and is pleased a punch with the outcome.

You're left standing there with your mouth hanging open in total disbelief…

"But I just told you that!"

So, why don't guys like hearing advice from women? Is it just that male ego thing going on?

You know who I ask these questions of now? My ex-husband. Yup! Now that we are divorced and no longer perceive each other's inquiries as "meddling" we can give each other honest answers. It's a shame that we didn't/couldn't do that when we were married!

Life's funny isn't it?

So I asked my ex-husband:

Why on earth did you get so ticked off that time I tried to tell you how to fix the front step? You wouldn't listen to me and ended up just walking away in disgust. Then, when Craig (our neighbor) offered the same suggestion, you accepted it as being a "good idea" and went ahead and did it!

His answer was:

I didn't ask you for help and I guess I just saw it as you, trying to take control of my situation. You offering your suggestion made me think that you didn't feel that I was capable of handling the project and wanted to take control. Men hate to be wrong, especially in front of a woman.

• I thought I was being helpful.
• He thought I was trying to belittle and control him.
• I became resentful of his willingness to accept "my idea" from someone else.
• He became frustrated with my annoyance over something so "petty" and my "chilly" behavior afterward.

We didn't divorce over this incident.

That was just one little "straw" in the pile that broke the camel's back. And so it goes…

The solution? According to John Gray, don't offer a man help unless he asked for it! If he never asks, never offer!

Isn't that why we spend hours driving around lost?


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The question is as old as the problem itself…

Why do men cheat?

Is monogamy really a myth?

Are guys predestined to cheat because it is human nature?

Scientists have long explained that men are biologically motivated to seek out multiple sex partners. This natural instinct ensures a healthy gene pool and the survival of our species.

If this is true, then one cannot expect fidelity from a man. It kind of lets guys off the hook when they wander doesn't it?

So why do they feel guilty? If it is a man's biological right to have sex wherever, whenever, with whomever, why should they worry about being caught?

Because somewhere along the way, self imposed "ethics" and "morality" placed restrictions on human behavior…including sex!

Perhaps if guys didn't seem to derive such pleasure from sex, it wouldn't be such a sin. Think about it. If sex with multiple partners were just another "chore" for men as cleaning house and cooking meals is to women, would we get upset about it?

Probably not…poor guys!

Nevertheless…men do enjoy sex…a lot…and not always with their partner!


Here are their Top 10 reasons…

I'd like to say that they are in no particular order but, we all know what guys say is the number one reason that they cheat. Remember ladies, the jokes about sex ending when marriage begins, wouldn't be funny if there weren't some truth to them!

1. Not getting enough at home! Women tend to get caught up in "life" and sex gets put on the "back burner". She may be bent over helping the kids tie their shoes but he's still looking at her "nice ass". God…is that all they think about?
2. It's reassuring to know that he's still "got it". Time has a way of making us all feel less sexy and desirable. A little forbidden rendezvous can be a real shot to a sagging male ego.
3. The wife just isn't physically appealing anymore. Face it, women do tend to let themselves go. Often they get too busy raising their families and neglect themselves. They are too tired to put on make up or do those thigh slimming exercises. The result? A sexy new secretary and whatdayaknow…"Honey…I have to work late"!
4. Sex at home is boring. The wife doesn't like to try new things (or old things - namely, blow jobs!). To men, variety is the spice of life and he may have some sexual urges that his wife is not willing to fulfill. He may have some ideas that he would rather his wife didn't know about. Can you say "manage-a-trios"?
5. He just couldn't say no. The woman was hot and all over him. It just seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity…too good to pass up. This is where the phrase "thinking with their little head" came from!
6. The wife just isn't fun anymore. She worries, she nags, she fusses and they fight all of the time. He cheats to "get away from it all".
7. He just doesn't love his wife anymore. And just how do you tell someone that tactfully? It is easier to have an affair than it is to deal with the pain and emotional upheaval of such a confession. On the other hand…if he is caught cheating? Well, the door is then opened for a speedy exit!
8. The thrill of the chase is exhilarating. Some men are truly addicted not only to the act of sex itself, but to the hunt. They thrive on the rush they get when they are able to conquer even the toughest "ice queen". It's not about love, it's about control and winning!
9. They cheat because they can. Many men know that their wives are insecure and dependant on them. They also know that low self esteem and a fear of being alone will keep her "in place" and "at home" no matter what, or who they do. So, why not? Variety - remember?
10. And finally, men cheat to get even! It is an absolute blow to the male ego for his sexual prowess to be in question. Why else would a woman cheat on him? His own affair as a result, serves two purposes, revenge and reassurance of manhood.

There you have it…the Top 10 reasons why men say that they cheat on their wives or partners.

Are any of them "excuseable"?
Mmmm…a couple…maybe (although most women won't agree).

Are any of them "preventable"?
Of course.

Although monogamy may not human nature…it is a choice!


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I really believe that the main reason that men and women have trouble sustaining long term relationships is very simple…

We do not understand each other!

Men and women are from the same species and there the similarity ends.

We aren't built the same, we don't act the same and we certainly don't think anything alike!

Comparing the two is like trying to find the similarities between a Rottweiler and a Miniature Toy Poodle. Same species…nothing alike!

Women are sensitive and emotional, men are visual and logical.

Women watch the "Pirates Of The Caribbean" movies and see a love story. Ladies everywhere are eagerly awaiting the arrival of POTC III to find out who Elizabeth truly loves - Will or Captain Jack Sparrow. And do you know what? It actually matters to them who she chooses! There are websites devoted to the topic. Guys watch these same movies and see a great action-thriller. Some kick-ass moves, cool graphics, a great ship, a bit of humor and yeah…why is all the rum gone?

I came across a great article by Bob Grant also known as "The Relationship Doctor".

The article, entitled Why Men don't like to talk about Feelings uses a rather humorous scenario involving Speedos and bikinis to illustrate the differences between men and women…

"I want to illustrate something to your wife so if you will indulge me with a little experiment, I'll give you $1000 to slip into this tiny little Speedo bathing suit. In the next room there are 20 women whom I want you to dance around and make a fool of yourself in this little bathing suit."

His article is "right on"…take a minute to read it.

My thought on this article was "wow"! Wouldn't it be great to be that uninhibited? This guy made a fast buck doing something completely fun and harmless. A woman just can't seem to let herself go like that. We are too guarded, we take ourselves too seriously and we worry too damned much about what others will "think".

I think men and women each bring valuable qualities to a relationship. There is a time and a place where a woman's intuition and "gut feelings" are needed but there are also times when a man's logic and rationale are better served.

We balance each other out.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could learn to understand our differences and use them to work together instead of fighting to determine who is right and who is wrong?

Cooperation does win over control in almost every situation in life - why not with men and women?

I think men and women need each other, because of our differences, not in spite of them!

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