I was one of the walking wounded…the cheated.

My story is not "unique" by any stretch of the imagination.

In fact, it is almost a cliché!

Sadly, hundreds of good women will see themselves in my story. But, just because it is so familiar, doesn't make it any less painful for each woman who endures it.

Let me tell you what I have learned.

At 20, I married my long time friend and lover. He was a handsome 'bad boy' who was fun and had a terrific sense of humor. He was very spontaneous and he was great in bed! What else could any young girl possibly wish for?

We were young, "in love", and having the time of our lives. We hung out with our friends, we partied hard, went games, concerts and everything else that was 'important' in life.
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Is love really blind?

I once knew a woman back in my hometown who swore up and down that only way to cheat on your husband without getting caught was to do it in plain sight!

She maintained that whenever her husband questioned about her whereabouts or who she was talking to on the phone, honesty was always the best policy!

Just tell him the truth!

The truth? Are you nuts?

No. If you tell your husband the truth, he won't believe you anyway and, you don't have to stress out over coming up with an "alibi" on the spot. No stories to keep straight, no lies to remember…it's easy!









I thought she was crazy but after years of observation, I am convinced that she was on to something!

While "Molly" loved her husband, she also loved sex - a lot - and felt that life was just too darn short to be deprived of anything that brought you pleasure.

Hmmm…a valid argument when you put it that way don't you think?

If her husband questioned her as to who she was talking with on the phone so long, she would say:

"Oh, that was my boyfriend" or…

"That was "Bob"…we were planning our next roll in the hay." (I actually witnessed this.) She was telling her husband the 100 percent, honest to goodness TRUTH! She and "Bob" were planning to get together at the big "Grey Cup" party the following weekend!

Her husband, watching a game on TV just laughed it off and ask for another beer!!!

How was this possible? Did he not consider for one second that Molly may be telling him the truth? Did he trust her that much? Or…did he know what she was up to and just not care?

As for the "get together" at the Grey Cup party? Molly pulled it off with no trouble at all. An hour or two into the festivities, alcohol and "The Big Game" fever had taken over. No one even noticed that she and "Bob" were missing for a half an hour.

You know, I lived in that little town for 12 years and never, to my knowledge, did Molly ever get caught cheating on her husband. If he knew, he never let on.

When I left, "Molly and Larry" were still happily married.

Is love truly blind?

Or just dumb?




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Why doesn't your wife like sex?

She does…if it's good!

It always amazes me how men can come home from work, throw the car keys on the table, give the
wife a peck on the cheek, squeeze her "other" cheeks and wonder why she's not ready for sex - right now!

What's the problem?

Aww…the wife just doesn't like sex anymore! Right?

Wrong!

The problem is, stupid boy, supper is cooking, there is a load of laundry to fold and the kids are fighting over who has the longest tongue…or something equally stupid.

To be blunt…she's just plain not in the mood!

But how can this be? I mean, you did the "foreplay" stuff right? Yes, there are men who honestly believe that a peck and a squeeze is foreplay!

Smooth moves like these should have any woman quivering and eager with anticipation right?

As Carlos Mencia would say:

"Dee dee dee!"

Guys…you may not be bothered by the fact that the supper will burn or that the laundry will wrinkle if it isn't tended to but what about the kids? Oh, right, you only need a minute to do what you have to do so, there's plenty of time.

You are totally visual.

• See the babe in the bikini? Shwing!
• See the bodacious bouncing boobs on the sweating female jogger? Shwing! Shwing!
• See the woman lovingly molding her double scoop, french vanilla ice cream cone with the swirling motions of her wonderfully talented tongue? Shwing, shwing and double shhhhwing!!!

Ha ha! You are laughing but it's true!

You can't help it…it's just the way you are! That whole other "entity" below your waist just takes over. Sometimes seeing the "old lady" bent over taking the pot roast out of the oven is really all it takes!

You want to know something?

We women envy you. Oh if it were only that simple! But, alas! It just doesn't work that way.

While we do look and can appreciate a finely toned butt or a great set of abs, sex is an emotional experience for us. We must be in the mood or we get absolutely nothing out of it!

The only thing that we get from a 10 minute "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" session is more practice at "faking it" to spare your ego! You are satisfied and we are frustrated and left to clean up! It becomes another "chore" on our already long list of "to dos".

Sorry - but that's just the way it is!

You want to get us in the mood?

You bath the kids and put them to bed while we do the dishes and fold the laundry.

When you are done, fill that tub a second time. Add bubbles, some candles, soft music, a couple of glasses of wine…and you!

The results may surprise you!




The Axe Effect

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Okay guys, if you can even remotely relate to this, please do not ask:

"Why do women cheat?"










Enough said!




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Married dating - isn't that a contradiction of terms? Or at the very least a conflict of interests?

"Back in the day", you could be married, or, you could be dating. You could not be both!

Now it seems that married dating is very common if not almost "acceptable".

Whoa! When did this happen?

Dating use to be a prelude to marriage. Now it's done before, during and after marriage with the Internet being a gateway to what was once a forbidden zone.

With the wonders of the WWW, we are like kids in a candy store. Never before has it been so easy to "hook up" with others looking for the romance and sex that they feel they aren't getting at home.

Chat rooms, instant messaging, email and web cams are the "tools of the trade" used by millions of men and women to carry on "harmless" cyber affairs. Because no human touch is involved, it can't be considered cheating - right?

Cyber cheaters justify their behavior as an innocent way to recapture some of that lost excitement. The anonymity of it all, gives people the courage to discuss fantasies and desires that they never would talk about with their spouses.

Why?

Online rejection is far less painful than the real thing and if things get out of hand, you can just sign off - no apologies and no excuses needed.

The trouble with cyber affairs is that they often do not stay in cyber space!

Women, generally get involved in cyber affairs looking for romance and emotional support while the men look for sex. The excitement and arousal experienced during cyber flirting often causes good judgment to go by the wayside. Things escalate and first contact by phone is made.

From there, as Dr. Dave Greenfield of Psychjourney reports, 31 percent of these cyber affairs go on to become the "real thing".

It seems then, that cyber affairs are well on their way to becoming the number one cause of adultery and divorce.

Things have gotten so far out of hand that even an innocent lunch between business acquaintances falls prey to suspicion these days. And who can blame us?

Is there a solution?

Marriage therapists believe that pre-marital counseling and discussing what role the Internet will play in a couple's relationship should be mandatory.

Will it help?

Many good people have succumbed to temptation despite forewarnings. Eve did.

Seems a lot like telling your kid to stay out of the cookie jar while you are away!

Yeah…right!


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Monogamy = "I Do…Until Death Do Us Part."

Serial Monogamy = "I Do For Now…Until Something Better Comes My Way."

We tend to get hell fired and bent out of shape over the subject of monogamy. It's a very hot topic in the forums!

Scientists lead a compelling argument that, biologically, we are compelled to cheat. It is human nature.

Others claim that humans are intended to be monogamous. Poor character and today's loose morals and ethics are the downfall of this institution. Really?

Where then, does "serial monogamy" fit into the grand scheme of things? Wikipedia defines serial monogamy as:

A series (at least two in length) of long-term, exclusive sexual relationships entered into consecutively over the life span. In common usage partners need not be married, but there is never more than one partner at a time. This behavior is a variant of monogamy, in which a given individual has only one sexual partner throughout life.

Note, that the definition speaks only of the "sexual" aspect of the relationship. Is that really all there is to monogamy? Exclusive sex with one partner? (How boring. No wonder we cheat!) A deeper, emotional commitment is not required?

Then where does the term "emotionally infidelity" come from? Many people value emotional intimacy over physical intimacy. "Affairs of the heart" are considered to be a bigger violation and risk to a relationship than having sex with another.

Sex, when shared with another, is still, just sex. A heart, given to another, leads to pain, divorce and serial monogamy.

Is it morally and ethically "correct" to change partners on a whim? We don't take marriage seriously anymore and we certainly don't commit. We may have good intentions but we always try cover our bases just in case things don't "work out".

Doesn't changing the traditional wedding vows from "until death do us part" to "for as long as we both shall love" (which can be a very short time!) say it all? And what about prenuptial agreements?

A contract entered into by two people prior to marriage which includes provisions for the division of their properties should the union end in divorce.

Today, we plan for the divorce before the wedding ever takes place!

Face it, love is a fleeting thing! Why?

Because we put about as much thought, care and time into selecting our partners as we do our next new car. If it is smooth, sleek, sexy, smells new and rides well…get it! At the first sign of trouble, trade it in on a newer model!

Marriage Certificate = Bill Of Sale
Warranty = Prenuptial

The only thing we are missing is the "Buyer's Remorse" clause so we can turn a new partner in within 72 hours if we change our mind! Oh wait…

Buyer's Remorse Clause = Annulment

For famous serial monogamists like "The Donald" (Donald Trump), paying off the "old" wife to bring in the sexy, new, "young" wife each time, seems to be a way of life. A fellow blogger, William Weston suggests that Donald's methods portray a glamorous form of prostitution. Ouch! He does have a point though.

So, is "serial monogamy" any better than cheating? I think it is a symptom of cheating.

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