Consequences, Depression

Holiday Blues

The holidays can really suck slough water can’t they?

This is for all of the lonely people out there currently suffering from the “Holiday Blues“.

When I started “Our Cheating Ways” originally, I saw it as an opportunity to talk about a subject that affects millions of people – infidelity.

While I have done my best to tackle the topic objectively, there is so much more that I would like to say, perhaps, more on a personal level.

I do believe that cheating is a personal choice and that on occasion the reasons that led to it may be valid. However, I also believe that the cure for “what ails you” is very temporary while the pain caused can be quite permanent.

The affair always ends but the damage lasts a lifetime!

I really don’t think that a person considering an affair can fully comprehend the devastating consequences of the action they are about to take – not only to their partner, but to themselves. Were they to know the outcome in advance, perhaps they would reconsider.

I know. To this day, I suffer from the residual effects of my ex-husband’s infidelity. I’m okay, but I will never be quite the same because of it and I know that his actions have come back to haunt him.

I also know that during this holiday season there will be many men and women out there who, like me, dread the upcoming festivities.

It’s been over 14 years since my last “family” Christmas. I haven’t put up a Christmas tree in years and I try my best to avoid the holiday hoopla as much as humanly possible. Not out of self pity but for self preservation.

I think that there are so many lonely people out there because of infidelity. People who are unwilling to take the chance, people who are afraid of rejection and people who let their fears ruin their chances for another meaningful relationship.

There are also plenty of cheaters out there who regret having lost the family that they had for a few fleeting moments of pleasure!

For many, the holidays are a time of self-reflection that only serves to amplify feelings of despair and loneliness.

It is the season of love, joy and family…everything that you feel that you have lost.

• Sappy family Christmas movies make you cry.
• Couples walking hand in hand make you feel empty and lonely.
• Your girlfriend’s engagement secretly makes you feel jealous and incomplete.

You feel like you are alone in the world and that no one can possibly understand your pain.

I write this article not to depress you further but to let you know that you are not alone.

According the University of Pennsylvania Health System, over one million people are affected each year by the “holiday blues” due to lifestyle changes such as the loss of a loved one through separation or divorce.

Wow! That is a pile of lonely people!

Kind of reminds me of that old Beatles song, Eleanor Rigby…“all the lonely people, where do they all come from?”

The good news is that, unlike clinical depression, the “holiday blues” will pass…if you can just get through the damned season!

Throughout this article you will find links to professional advice on how to cope with holiday depression. Hopefully, some of it will help you.

Know that the season will pass and you will get through it. Just brace yourself for a flood of advice dispensed by people with the best of intentions. You know, stuff like…

“That which doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”
“It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”
“When one door closes another door opens”
“The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”

Well…actually, I think that last one may have real potential!

This season I wish you peace!

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