Just Click & Enter Your Email Address!Are You Cheating?, Why Do We Cheat?
I’m Not Married, So It’s Not Really Cheating…Is It?
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“I am not married, so I am not really cheating.” Is that what you are thinking?
A man that I had known for years once suggested that we should ‘get together’. He had been married and divorced three times and was currently living with a woman and her two kids from a previous marriage.
He harbored a fair bit of ‘ill will’ toward his ex-wives because each had been unfaithful to him. Three [tag-tec]cheating[/tag-tec] wives? That suggests to me that he wasn’t really in touch with what women need in the first place, but that is another story.
Anyway, this man adamantly proclaimed that cheating was the one thing that he could not tolerate from a wife. Imagine my surprise then at his suggestion that we get together since he was already living with another woman!
When I asked him if he would not be doing the very thing that he loathed so much in his ex-wives, his answer was “no, I am not married to her so it’s not cheating”.
Excuse me? With or without a [tag-ice]marriage[/tag-ice] license, if you are living with someone that you are intimately involved with, does that person not have a right to expect faithfulness from you?
The funny thing was, that although this man claimed that he was not cheating, his actions said otherwise. He did not want this woman to know that he would be meeting me and had no plans to tell her about it. My thoughts? Aha! So you do know that you are cheating after all!
It’s pretty evident that today more and more couples are leaning toward cohabitation rather than marriage. Why is this?
- Does the lack of a marriage license provide us comfort in knowing that we are not ‘stuck’ if things don’t work out?
- Does it give us a sense of security to know that we are not financially obligated if one or the other chooses to leave?
- Does it leave the door open for a fast exit should someone more exciting come along?
- Does it allow us the freedom to have sex with others with a clear conscience knowing that ‘technically’ we are not cheating?
It shouldn’t, but it seems to. My thoughts on this would be to follow the Golden Rule – “Do onto others as you would have them do unto you”.
If you are living with someone but seeing someone else, ask yourself this. “Would I be upset if the person I am living with was having an intimate relationship with someone else?”
If your answer is yes, then you are cheating. If your answer is no, then maybe the question should be – “Why are we together in the first place?”
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I am in a long term relationship and have been for nearly 4 years however circumastances have changed have move to the other side of the country and therefore we are not able to see eachother as often as we used to. I have never had a long distance before however we do have a fantstic relationship and get on as well now as we had in the beginning. In the weeks where I do not see him I find myself thinking of entering sexual relations with other men, I haven’t as yet and I do feel slightly guilty about entertaining the idea. I am also aware that its just the lack of sex that is the motivation behind it. A part of me thinks that I should just do it so I can get it over with, the other part knows that my partner would be devasted. Its seems like a no brainer but I have a high sex drive and not getting any is a big deal for me. Would it be wrong if it was just a purley sexual relationship that I started with another? Surely it only matters if I get caught ,right?