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Is The Ashley Madison Agency Legitimate?
12:31 by Cindy English · 24 Comments
Is the Ashley Madison dating site for married people legitimate?
Here’s an email that I received recently from a reader who was curious as to whether or not the
Ashley Madison Agency is on the “up and up” or not…
Hi Cindy,
Interesting website you’ve established. I saw your article/review of the Ashley Madison site – I am one of those out-of-the-loop folks that had never heard of it. Checked it out more out of curiosity than anything. I tend to be a bit voyeuristic when it comes to infidelity. Like to window shop. My question to you relates to how surprised I was by the large number of public photos of ‘attached’ people. Given the high cost of one’s spouse/co-worker/friend or others seeing it, I wouldn’t have thought there would be many at all. Last thing I would do. It makes me wonder if the site is part scam. I’ve seen some sites with these beautiful women ‘looking for it right now’ which seems like a hook to get you to sign up. I did a basic profile on the site and received an email from a woman in NY (I’m in Atl) within 2 hours. To look at it I need to buy credits. Another enticement type tactic. What are your thoughts on the picture posting on A.M. and the legitimacy in general?
Thanks!
Good question!
Okay…so here is my take on the Ashley Madison dating site the caters specifically to married people looking for a little sex on the side…
I have reviewed MANY dating sites, married or otherwise and by “review” I mean actually signed up, added a profile, explored the site and waited to see what happened. There are questionable tactics use on many of these sites but not all of them.
Here is just a sample of what I have learned…
Many dating sites do not have “unique” members. These sites “share” their clients. By that I mean that if you put your profile on just one site, you may find that your profile is in fact on many different sites.
Proving this point, last year, I joined Mature Date Link, a mature dating site to review it.
A short time later I was contacted by a man who said he found my profile on Cheating Wives. I told him that there was no way that he could have found me on that site because #1 – I am not married and #2 – I never signed up on any such site. Well, I went to the site he described and found that both of these were “Date Link” sites. Sure enough, the password and username that I had registered with on the Mature Date site, worked on the Cheating Wives site as well. I found a carbon copy of my Mature Date profile right there on Cheating Wives without me having ever been to the site before!
Further investigation showed me that the “Date Link” network is HUGE. Take a look! That’s at least 43 “Date Link” sites that are possibly hosting your profile and all because you just signed up on ONE! That is scary! One does not even know where to begin looking if they were not aware of this to remove their profile if they wanted to! The fact that these sites cater to all possible fetishes and orientations explains some of the more bizzare “flirts” that I have gotten as well!
Another well used tactic is the “wink”. Often, if you view someone’s profile, an “automated” wink will be sent to you indicating someone’s interest in you. Of course you will have to become a paying member to view their full profile or contact them. Just as the reader said: “Another enticement type tactic.” Singlesnet is guilty of this.
I discovered this when a man sent me a very rude, extremely hostile email…”How dare I contact him? Was I illiterate?” Could I not READ that his profile specifically stated that he HATED SMOKERS?” I am a smoker…vile bitch that I am! 
Keep in mind that when I review these sites, I NEVER initiate contact with anyone, I simply view profiles. I found Singlesnet to be the worst for this! Within a period of 2 weeks, I had received 5 more emails from men all thanking me for contacting them. I HAD viewed each of their profiles, but had NOT contacted any of them!
I responded to one gentleman who seemed very sincere. He thanked me very much for the explanation as to the false “wink” and said that that explained why so many of the women who had initiated contact with him, never responded when he answered their winks!
What’s different about the famous Ashley Madison Agency?
Ashley Madison on the other hand is somewhat unique and not affiliated with any other dating sites. They are the only site that I know of that uses the credit system rather than a monthly membership fee.
I have watched them for more than two years now, grow steadily in membership and rank in the search engines. I was not overly impressed with the site when I first visited but, for reasons that I cannot explain, they are doing very well.
I think their advertising tactics are brilliant. The statement “Life’s Short – Have An Affair” may well raise the ire of morally and ethically “correct” people but the more they protest the existence of Ashley Madison, the more they raise awareness of the site. More awareness = more curiousity seekers = more members = more money!
So…
With regard to the legitimacy of Ashley Madison…they are unique. If you become a member there, you will NOT find your profile plastered on a dozen other unauthorized sites.
As for posting your photo…that is a personal decision you will have to make based on the importance of you remaining anonyomous. You will definitely get more “action” with a photo posted but you do run the risk of someone you know finding you there and telling your wife.
YOU may even discover you recognize a few people yourself. I know that I did! 
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Beautiful Enslavement
You’ll never get outed for posting your picture on Ashley Madison.
Think about it – the people who are searching profiles there are there because they want to cheat on their spouse.
If they find your picture there, they are going to keep their mouths shut, because there is no way for them to out you with out ruining their own relationship.
Ashleymadison is clearly a scam. For details and reviews just go to http://www.ashleymadison.com. As a reviewer your credibility is at stake. You might want to dig a little deeper.
From what I can see, even at the surface level, Ashley Madison is obviously fraudulent. One issue is that they openly admit their deviousness, at their Legal & Disclaimers tab, which goes on and on: “From time to time this service may include, offer, or initiate winks, collect messages or instant chat from Market Researchers (Online Hosts) simulating attached or single men or women. These efforts are conducted for market research and/or customer experience and/or quality control and/or compliance purposes…”
However, I must ask, why has no one mentioned the specific method that members use to generate their online personal profiles at Ashley Madison? It is inherently very suspicious. New profiles are created from a template that can accept photos and typed text. But the template also includes many check boxes, arranged with long lists of preferences, perhaps a hundred or more. They cover such exciting choices as “like lots of foreplay” versus “too busy for preliminaries”, or “has a settled love nest” versus “meets discretely at randomly chosen motels”. These check boxes are impressively grouped in appealing arrangements, in the various categories of “Who I am looking for”, “What turns me on”, “My idea of a perfect date”, and so on. Oh yes, the check boxes also let each member quickly and explicitly describe which sex acts they do or don’t enjoy, and will or won’t perform.
As a certain comedian asks– Is that not a sign?
Further, at Ashley Madison, 98% of women’s profiles are filled out, only by checking those boxes, although the site provides several areas to type text!
A “bot” computer program could be set up to check those boxes in different patterns, and automatically populate the site with thousands of fictitious members, with a dazzling variety of interests, aching to be satisfied. Are customers too computer illiterate, to see this? And needless to say, most of those check boxes, with their rather risque descriptions, doubtlessly have strong appeal for men. Maybe I’m naive, but no woman I’ve ever met jumps that quickly into, well– revealing such personal information.
The profiles on Ashley Madison stand out in stark contrast to other dating sites that insist on a writing sample, from a live human being. To take one example, PlentyOfFish.com, which is free, and accepts profile posts from anyone, single or married, straight or gay, or bi, or whatever. At PlentyOfFish, there are some checkboxes and pull down lists, for the dry stats like age, marital status, and so on. However, unlike Ashley Madison, PlentyOfFish requires a written paragraph, minimum of about a hundred words. It is very interesting that most of the profiles at PlentyOfFish are written by people who obviously find the written language very challenging. But they do post some text, and appear to have passed the CAPTCHA test! Many photos are hidden from public view, especially for the married women. Many profiles are almost incoherent, but almost all are plausible.
In contrast, the women of Ashley Madison are a strangely silent group, when it comes to posting their own thoughts, upon their profiles. They just check some boxes, and post, with no further comment. Shy? Not very literate, perhaps? Or completely fictitious?
Yeah fellow men, its a scam, don’t join –they’ll take your money. Spend it on women you meet on business trips.
Ashley Madison is a total scam in my opinion. There are tons of reports of people who feel ripped off by their shadey practices… Go check out http://www.AshleyMadisonSucks.com for a bunch of examples… read the comments and stories and you’ll probably agree… It’s a scam.
You know, there are so many scams out there when it comes to dating sites, that its hard to determine which ones are real or not. Now, we’re talking about sites for people who cheat! I mean c’mon, you deserved to be scammed then if thats the type of site you’re looking for!
To play the other side of the coin here, if thats what your looking for, than to each their own. One thing I’ve always know to be true, is find peoples review from sites AFTER they used them. You can check out AshleyMadisonScam.net to read it.
married need to have a affair will tell more?
AM is a scam. Their are few profiles from real women, most are contrived to get your money. Don’t be surprised if you get winked and gifted but then receive no further contact once you’ve paid you money to message them back.
To be honest, I had should have read the part where it talks about the market researchers which is actually fake profiles to get people to join. I spent $70 to join and each of the messages I received were from fake profiles. I am now down to 70 credits. I will not be using the site again and will stick to craigslist for finding affairs.
Ashley Madison is obviously totally fake as are most sites in the ‘married dating’ genre. The only one I’ve come across where the ladies appear genuine (and indeed where I actually met someone with whom I had an affair on a trip over there) is http://www.illicitencounters.com in the UK.
Ashley Madison is truly a scam. Once you sign up they will charge your credit card without authorization, refuse to provide a refund and then share the contents of confidential emails as a means of intimidation.
Yes, Ashely Madison is a scam, and a well-marketed one. They plant “puff pieces” in the news media, create fake web sites with positive reviews, and they are clever enough not to populate their sites with photos of hot babes. Instead they have a lot of photos of bland, overweight housewife types, the kind of women who look like their husbands would lose interest in them. But no matter what your profile says or who you contact, you will never get anything but a personal response.
While I’m not at all surprised, it is a scam.
Easy way to find out?
First, read the faq’s
In there it states for all to see that as a guest, any full member can message you and you can respond as a guest.
I’ve had 5 full members message me and each time I would have had to pay to see and respond to the message.
Explain that AM if you can.
Customer support told me that it’s only free response for women? Huh? Try and find that little piece of information in the faq’s.
After watching the process for a few weeks, it obvious that most of the women are fake profile with auto generated winks, messages.
Sign up, watch the process for a while, guaranteed you won’t send money after observing for a bit.
Oh, and you get messages before you’ve added even one piece of information to your profile.
Just how stupid does AM think we all are?
I’m sure there is scamming going on at AM, but there is also a shot at meeting someone. Basic rule: if it looks too good to be true, it is! All the 23 yr olds who contacted me on day 1 before i wrote up a profile, for example, is sheer fraud. Now if you see somebody fat, old and wrinkly, that is a real person! If a profile is all gnarled up in life’s complexity, it’s real!! If it’s hollow, fluffy, looks like a product of an ad agency, stay away!!
I’ve sunk about 120 bucks in the site so far, and just now realize the true nature of this site. I could kick myself but I guess i’m just another hopeless romantic in search of a pipe dream.
I would love to see a class action suit started up against fraud in the online dating sites such as this.
There may be a lot of scamming, but I can’t be sure of that. Over about three years and a decent amount of effort I met three women. All of them fairly young — late 20s early 30s. First one was pretty and we dated but it was taking a while, she wasn’t awesome, and I ultimately lost interest. Second one was pretty but she was not interested in me romantically and she turned out to be fairly high maintenance. We kept in contact for a while and she ended up hooking up with someone from AM. Haven’t been in touch for about 8 months. Third one was pretty and we had an affair that lasted a year and a half. I suspended my account for a while at that point, as we were seeing each other 1-3 times a week. I’m ending the affair now and jumping back online again. Funny how I see so many of the faces that were there a year and a half ago. But I do also see a lot of new faces. So far I sent 3 messages last night but no responses. If I keep it up, I’m sure something will click, but it’s effort.
You have know idea about Ashley Madison website at all.Most of the woman are working girls,that get men to meet them for half hour affairs,and ask the men for half the room cost,or to pay for the room in full.So you’re got to think about it,when they are seeing 10-15 men a day in the same hotel room,and getting the room cost in their pocket.Ashley Madison is a great way to advertise,if you want a quick buck.
But it’s great for a look,Nick
Not a scam at all, although I did inadvertently once use up all my credits and it auto-purchased a second round of credits from my card. When that happened, I dug a little deeper and discovered I needed to UNcheck the auto-credit. Now, it’s all in my hands.
I keep a public picture with a bar across my eyes. Just enough to allow me plausible deniability. I have clear pictures on private and will share them with anyone who requests. Again, we’re both there to cheat, so I feel pretty safe. But it requires them to take the step of requesting.
I’ve had 3 very satisfying sexual affairs from the site and a good kissing session with another. I have communicated by texting with another couple of local women (local phone numbers) and got their real names which meant I could confirm they were who they were. We didn’t make a connection and politely moved along.
Since I’m not desperate for it, I can be choosy and just let them contact me. In fact, I’m often off the site for months at a time (I’ve been on it for over 2 years now) unless I get dinged with an email.
It is as real as you want to make it. I just made sure I was completely forthright with my needs and expectations in my profile. If a lady makes it through that and it intrigues her enough to contact me, then we are probably fairly compatible. I don’t mind being used by a lady.
If a FWB relationship develops then even better.
But one thing for sure is that it is not a scam. However, some idiots who don’t think it through before they do things (like myself when I did not realize I needed to uncheck the autoupdate on the credits) might wrongly think so.
There are scammers who use the site though. Basically, I ignore anybody who lists themselves as “single”. They are nearly all scams and I’m not even interested in sifting through them. I also ignore any contacts from profiles who aren’t even in my general area. They are scams. And I learned to keep my searches at age 27 and above. The vast majority of profiles that range about 18-25 are scams or prostitutes.
So far, my instincts have been spot on.
I highly recommend Ashley Madison if you’re interested in having sex outside of marriage and don’t want the drama of an actual emotional affair.
It has been a VERY long time since I was there. Yes, there were contacts from illegitimate members. I learned my lesson once when I opted to purchase some credits to read an email, only to find it was a “thanks but no thanks”. I can’t recall if I had winked or what. I just thought it was rude but not AM’s fault.
Some of the “hostesses” were downright rude, a littany of pre-recorded messages. I got some of them 3 times, same words.
One thing I liked at the time was the ability to discretely purchase credits through banks.
Another thing is that I think the ratio of men to women is very high, which drove the real women there to bad behaviour.
All that said, I did meet a woman with whom I had a very nice affair for 7-8 months, and even quite a few years later we are still very close friends.
I’m not going back though. Really didn’t like the environment there or at lavalife.