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My Wife Will Not Have Sex With Me
01:04 by Cindy English · 6 Comments
Every day, men visit this site with the same problem. “My wife will not have sex with me. Why?”
This is going to be the most brutal yet honest answer that you are ever going to get.
To put it bluntly, you are just not “hitting the mark” and she is getting absolutely nothing out of it!
But she liked it to begin with right? Right. Here’s why…
Sex with a new partner is always exciting. Chances are, that a woman will have an orgasm even if the sex is not stellar just because the anticipation and excitement of the unknown can put her in an orgasmic frame of mind.
Guys should understand this concept. Have you ever wanted a woman so badly that when you actually had sex with her, it was over too quickly because you simply were so excited that you could not “wait”? The anticipation had built to a point where you just could not control yourself. Nothing short of a lightning strike could have prevented you from getting off.
Same goes for a woman. But, here’s what happens over time…
The guy thinks he’s doing everything right because it “worked” in the beginning. So, he continues doing the same things every time.
The woman, realizing that the first few successes had more to do with her frame of mind, than your technique, now finds that an [tag-tec]orgasm[/tag-tec] is an elusive thing. Often she finds that she is unable to climax at all. To prevent bruising your ego, she will “fake it” to bring an end to what she knows just “isn’t working”.
“Faking it” is a fatal mistake and the beginning of the end for many couples.
A woman fakes an orgasm with the best of intentions. She knows, that your sexual technique is the problem, but she just cannot bring herself to tell you. She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings so she hopes that over time, things will improve. When they don’t, false orgasms become a habit. She is trapped! How can she tell you now, that she has been faking it all along without upsetting you? Afraid of you reaction to the truth, she remains quiet.
Sex is now a routine with no surprises and no mystery. You are still getting what you need, but unintentionally, through your lack of information she goes unsatisfied. She will discreetly pleasure herself. With no gratification on her part, sex with you now becomes a chore!
Your questions and her excuses begin. She is too tired, she has a headache, she has too much work to do, she had a lousy day and just isn’t “in the mood”…anything to avoid another disappointing bedroom episode.
Now the cheating begins…
You are not “getting any” or the “wife just doesn’t like sex anymore” is your validation for going elsewhere. Can’t really blame you I guess.
She is surprised to find herself sexually aroused by another man who flirts with her. The unexpected but pleasant feelings bring her back to a time much like when your relationship was new. It is exciting, unknown, spontaneous and yes, for the first time in a long time, she has an orgasm!
Here comes the divorce…
You both are in a euphoric state of “lust” with your new partners. It must be love, so, you divorce and each move on.
Guess what happens?
Yup…when the new wears off…you find you’re right back where you started from. She’s back to
“faking it” and you are once again “not getting any”!
So, is there a solution?
yes…Yes…YES!
Now that you know what happens, the solution should be so simple. Just talk to each other right?
Easier said than done. Despite an age of increasing [tag-ice]sexual awareness[/tag-ice] and open attitudes, many people are still uncomfortable communicating their needs. They find that talking to their partners about their sexual needs is awkward, uncomfortable and even embarrassing.
Really. How many ladies out there can comfortably describe to their man exactly where to touch, lick or suck to drive them absolutely wild? How many can comfortably describe the pressure and pulse needed to get them off? How about showing him where the elusive “g-spot” is?
It’s tough.
Likewise for the men, how many of you actually know if you are doing the right things? How many of you can read her “body language”? When she pushes you away, closes her legs or covers herself, she is trying to tell you something. Do you know what?
It’s a guessing game.
This is why I absolutely, 100 percent, think EVERY COUPLE needs to see the videos in the Online Great Sex Guide!!!
I found the web site called Lovecentria a couple of weeks back. I bought a membership because I do not like to talk about or recommend things that I haven’t used or read.
It cost me $68.95 and yes, I was skeptical. This site wasn’t offering another damned book to read (thank goodness)! They were offering 54 DVD’s of real people actually exploring their bodies and having sex while explaining it! Over 100 hours of video…unreal!
Who in their right mind, would or could produce such a thing?
Know what? Crazy as it sounds, these videos are the answer to every couple experiencing disappointment in their sex lives!
I have watched almost everything in the Lovecentria – Online Great Sex Guide now and I am amazed to say that it is an extremely well done and educational video resource for couples.
It’s like advanced sex education for adults! You can actually see, hear and understand what to and what not to do.
Guys, please, please, please, if you don’t do anything but watch the series called Satisfy A Woman Everytime, it will be money well spent.
You will finally understand a woman’s sexual needs – all of those things that she finds it so hard to tell you about! Once you watch this video series, you will know what to do!
Actually, it would be great if you watched it with your wife. It would be the ideal way to “break the silence”. When you watch the women explain what feels good and why, ask your wife if this is true for her as well. Then, she will probably be able to say yes, that’s what I need from you!
Many sex lives could be renewed if couples only knew how to communicate.
There would be no need to cheat!
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Beautiful Enslavement
I was so stupid to reverse the previous ban. ,
Sex is the most attractive word.
‘Every living thing need this.
Every body want to hide about thier sex nature.
It is a gift of God.
Some of us have been using this mess.
It is an art.
Sex must not go opposite of nature.
God has created two opposite sex for intire satisfaction.
There is some secret element to have the sex.
Some female parts are nature gifted .
We all must know about that .
Does a man lose verginity?
Topic a discuss so for this email at
simpeliving_20077atyahoo.com
I wish your happy sex life.
simple sir
my situation is simple. I can’t have a affair because it would kill me inside, she won’t have sex or ever say she loves me, intact after 8 years she laughs and called me weak when I seriously injured myself fixing her car recent, I been looking after our 3 kids fulltime whilst she built her Zumba fitness bussiness. I’m not atractive to her and she calls me a looser. I was trying to support her dreams but in comparo to the guys at the gym I’m not sexy. (and unemployed!)
I was working part time as a night club security but have now started a diploma in justice with the aim of becoming a policeman. I love her and our kids and want to make em proud and be proud of myself again too.
I am realizing more and more that my once nice wife is actualy a incredible selfish and heartless woman now. She is very sexy with a great body and brags of the men who want her. Those guys are just wanting sex, they won’t love our kids or her like I will. She is really hurting me these days and every word is designed to cause maximum pain on my heart.
I don’t see anyway out! There is one but I can’t do that to my kids. I’m fast running out of Enthusiasm for life. I hope she will see me as a catch again and show some love..I’ve been broken down by this rejection and constant barrage of insults , I’ll keep fighting..don’t know for how much longer but
Relax, you’re not the only one. I’ve been married 20 years and my wife has never had the same desire for sex as a normal woman. She says she hears her co-workers complain that their husbands give them sex once a month. What I would give to be in their shoes.
Lately, I’ve been trying to understand what her problem is. It’s overwhelming because she has so many ailments, from headaches, to pain in her side, her arms, legs, eyes, claims to have brain cancer, or breast cancer, she is sooo sure of it, but will not confirm or resolve it with a physician, not to mention the regular problems like yeast and bladder infections that she’s always suffered from since the day we got married. Sometimes I believe she takes pleasure in denying me in some sick way, because now she has all the power in the relationship.
I’m a good husband, I don’t abuse her, I try to be patient and listen first to her day at work, etc, and she really likes to get back messages to help her to relax. I try my best to assist her with house chores and cooking, the lawn, keeping her auto in good shape. I don’t abuse drugs and don’t drink alcohol and I love my kids. I do all this even if I didn’t love her because I believe in being a good responsible person, mostly a good father to my kids whom I love so deeply, but I just don’t know what to do about my wife. I don’t want to leave her, but I really love sex and we both waited until we we’re married to have it, both virgins.
When my daughter was born 13 years ago, I decided to get a vasectomy, out of concern for my wife’s health risking another pregnancy. We both talked about just having 2 children and we got our pair. I thought too, that it would help my wife mentally because now she didn’t have to take birth controls pills anymore. But nothing changed except time keeps going by and we get older and the older she gets the more problems she has.
A few years back out of desperation, I had an affair with a co-worker. She was beautiful and smart and she gave me the attention I’ve been searching for. We didn’t go all the way, we got naked, kissed passionately, petted wildly, but I couldn’t get it in because I just didn’t fit or she was just to small. So we gave up trying because it hurt her so badly. She decided to move on because she knew I was married, but didn’t want to break my marriage up. I knew I did wrong, I never told my wife.
A couple of years passed, one desperate day I met another woman, actually I have met several since and without commitment I am secretly seeing them to relieve this need. I am having fun, I felt guilty at first, but truth be known, I rarely have sex with my wife anyway, and I feel she doesn’t have to agonize about me bothering her for it. Sometimes I wish I were free from her, but I don’t want to damage my kids with a divorce and so I keep it secret. One day when my kids are grown I will let her know. I don’t care if she leaves me anymore. The love is lost, it was lost a long time ago.
Your web site doesn’t render correctly on my blackberry – you may wanna try and repair that
Wow…a fucking advertisement in the guise of a pertinent response to a common question…what a shocker….