About Women
5 Reasons Why Your Wife Is Not Having Sex With You
by Cindy English · 25 Comments
So, you've been married for a while now and it has become apparent that your wife doesn't like sex. She seemed to like it before you got married but alas…your relationship has followed the path of so many married couples.
I know, maybe women just "use" sex to trap good men and none of them "really" like it at all. 
The lack of sex in married life is one of the oldest jokes/complaints among men.
"Once you get married, the sex stops!" Right?
Why?
Well, most men have pondered this dilemma – during half-time – over a beer – with their "buds" and arrived at what can be the only sensible and reasonable explanation…
"Aw…the "old lady" just doesn't like sex!"
How very intuitive!
Do you want to know why your wife doesn't want to have sex with you anymore?
It is about you. Yes, you – husband. It's not about you being the world's greatest lover, or being hung like a horse or having the staying power of the "Energizer Bunny".
It's about how you make HER feel…
I found this little article by Shawn Hill explaining why your wife may have lost interest in having sex with you. Though he doesn't cover all of the reasons, he does a pretty good job of highlighting the major issues…
5 Reasons Why She's Not Having Sex With You
by Shawn Hill
How does a sexual relationship that starts out so hot go so cold. It may take a while or it may happen over night. It does not matter, you just know that she is no longer having sex with you.
Even if you asked her, she may not tell you the truth. She may not want to hurt your feelings or she may not be able to figure out what the problem really is.
The real problem could be that what you did to get her, you have not continued to do to keep her. Check your actions against list to see if you may be turning your woman off.
- You don't tell her how sexy she is. Remember when you first started dating her? She was hot. You couldn't wait to see her. She not only felt attractive, you told her how attractive she is.
Now that you have been with her for a period of time you have gotten used to seeing her. You don't have the same excitement that you once had. She can tell that you have lost that sexy feeling.
- You are not interested in anything else but sex. If the extent of your interest in her is only sexual, she will soon get tired of this. No matter how good the sex is.
Too many times men try to work on technique when they should be working on the relationship. They will read every book about Karma Sutra, Orgasms and Kissing. If she feels that all you want from her is sex, she will be turned off.
- You have changed. Whatever it is that she liked about you has changed. Maybe you were living a lie to try to attract her. Now that you have gotten her, you have reverted back to who you truly are.
Women are very preceptive. No one likes feeling like they are being played for a fool. If she feels like that you have deceived her, she will turn cold.
- It may have nothing to do with you. Unlike you, women are usually not able to enjoy sex if there are other problems in their life. These other concerns will affect how sexy she feels and also how much she will want to have sex.
- You are not listening. She may have tried to talk to you but you didn't want to hear her. You took this as just more nagging. Now that the sex has stopped, you are ready to hear her. Sadly that ship may already have sailed.
Too many times we as men think that we can fix our sexual issues by learning new tips, tricks or techniques. We really need to look at our actions and see where we have gone wrong. Only after we have identified what the problem really is can we turn back on the fire in the bedroom.
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One More Thing…
To a woman, "having sex" is a chore but "making love" is an emotional and physical intimacy that she needs and craves.
Are you making love to your wife or just having sex? The answer IS important!
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Good article, but it is a double standard. If a man cheats, it is his fault; if his woman cheats then it is still his fault. Why should any man even bother being in a monogamous relationship? I personally feel that monogamous relationships are the way to go with a good woman. But it seems that once monogamy begins the woman's sexual desire disappears. And it is our fault, I suppose we made the mistake of going into monogamy when she should have been "one of many."
I am very frustrated on this topic. This is sad, but my wife and I have only been married over a year and already we have run into big differences on our sexual desires. I don't know what to do. I just don't, and I am very frustrated. .. I am committed to stay in this relationship and be monogamous, but I know it will be difficult if this is not resolved.
this is why prostitutes have been around. men, biologically need sex. if your woman cannot provide it then pay for it. maybe women need to understand this and accept that men have to go outside the marriage.
here here!!! bartender round of beers for that man!
I am a woman and it has been the opposit for me. I have been married almost 7 years and me and my husband only have sex 1 time per month; I nag his every week about us not having sex but he tells me he is tired….I know he's cheating but he won't admit it.
I am tired of the double standards. Stop letting women off the hook. When you do so, you are being silly and encouraging them to continue to act in ways that cause more problems. Please do not tell me that we have to be interested in everything else about a woman and then sex. Frankly, why would we talk to half of the women if it was not for wanting to have sex with them? Women should actually have to answer this question as well. What is it that most of them have to offer a man aside from sex? If this question is answered honestly, people would realize that most women today have little to offer and little to really complain about.
I agree with JW about the double standards. But alas this is how it has been for a while.
If you seem like you are having an affair than a womens natural instincts to screw her man to keep him kick in!!!!
If you seem like you are won and done.. so is the sex..
The trick! always seem like some other women wants you and her natural instinct to keep you will work in your favor. Once you are won, so is the challenge..
I have tested this over and over… Purposely do suspicious things.. make her think she may be at risk and she will react differently.. if she doesnt than really……. find a mistress…because if she doesnt love you enough to pretend she wants to have sex even when she doesnt than you married the wrong women…
If I didnt want to have sex with my wife but i loved her I would be the best actor you ever seen.. I would want her to be happy…
I am also lost. My wife and I had regular sex up until 3-4 years ago. Now it seems to be only a weekend thing..Yes, we have two kids, and she is in a demanding job. She says I don't understand how tired she is at night. I say that I do, so I say what's the reason in the morning or in the middle of the day. I told her I really am starting to think she just doesn't want to have sex with me. I tell her she is the hottest thing around to me. I have never in my life been too tired for sex. I have been extremely exhausted, but if she reached over and touched me I would be raring to go. I told her this morning that we have sex an average of 4 times a month, and I believe that 2-3 of those time it is obligatory. I feel if not for the kids and the marriage we wouldn't be together sometimes……
I THINK THE REASON IS HOW SHE'S GETTING TREATED,THIS PLAYS A BIG ROLE!YOU CANT HURT HER FEELINGS AND THINK THAT SHE WANTS SEX NO ,IT DOSENT WORK LIKE THAT! OR MAYBE SHE IS LACKING PASSION,AND THE RIGHT ATTENTION NEEDED LIKE LISTENING AND TREATING HER WITH RESPECT BY ANYMEANS!TREAT YOUR WOMAN RIGHT!
This article is a joke! You're Top 5 may be a reason in SOME relationships; however the male counterpart is not the sole reason in all relationships. Maybe the woman needs to take a good look at herself? Maybe she's experiencing hormonal issues? Maybe she's having an affair? Maybe she's not happy with her body, or just feeling like she made a mistake in the relationship? I have been in a marriage for 6 years, and I continue to shower my wife with material things, because it's what she prefer. I'm attentive to her needs, by caring for the kids, cleaning the house, etc. Our sex life has diminished, and we've talked this issue to death. I'm to the point of requesting a separation, then divorce!
I have found a girl I have been dating for 2.5 years. For some reason, I am not physically attracted to her. She is a beautiful girl, I just feel weird having sex with her.Thus, we don't. However, I am so physically attracted to every other girl out there. The problem is, she has every other trait I am looking for. She is a wonderful person. Unfortunately, her visa is about to expire. If I don't marry her, she is gone for ever. If I do, I worry that I might find someone else down the road. I have no idea what to do. I want to marry her, but feel the lack of sex is an issue that will tear us apart down the road. What do u think? Should I go for it or should I let her go back to Colombia?
Hey Steve,
2.5 years is a long time not to have sex with a beautiful woman. Obviously, although you claim that she is a beautiful and has every other quality that you are looking for, something is missing. If you marry her just to keep her in the country, you are being selfish. With no sex…you will cheat…it is inevitable. Is it possible that she is such a good friend that you don't want to risk destroying it for sex?
Most women don't know what they want. Shawn Hill's five reasons women stop wanting sex from their husband article is overly patronizing ungrateful women. My respone to Shawn's bullet points are as follows:
1. You've told her how sexy she is ….numerous times…that has gotten old….she has develped vericos veins and cottage cheese….And the stupid bitch, thinks she's gonna hook up with Tae Doggs..Kee[ Dreaming…
2. She should be glad that you are interested in celloulosex. Gravity takes its toll.
3. She's changed. She stopped tea bagging and she always wear "period panties" aka…Bloomers…
4. Thats one area that I agree with Shawn. If there is drama, tragedy, emotional turmoil….sex is out of the question ! A woman is not going to want to have sex, if she's emotionally distraught over her pet poodle being gang-raped.
5. Passive agressive psychosis ails all women! Women speak at the wrong time. They will remain silent about a supposed issue (unbeknownst to us). They remain silent until something captivates our interest. For example. a new found interest in temple preservation/physical fitness. Women think that we are cheating because we no longer want to look like Homer Simpson. Also, they wait until the game is on to start nagging/talking, and you can't shut them up. A kindergardener could tell you that these are not effective communication skills.
I love how the man has to continue to woo, court, make absolutions, work and continue to pay so the woman can feel good about herself and then he might get some action. It's like being perpetually in debt and you will never be able to pay enough or do enough. How many years of slavery earns a man the reciprocated honesty from a woman enough to simply ask her to have sex?
This article is very generic along with alot of other similar online material I have been reading.
Men are so simple, that, I feel women cant understand how something can be so simple and therefore complicate everything because they treat us like some piece of Chinese arithmatic. If it is mostly the Female "mental" issues that are keeping women from making their men happy then no amount of "catering to her needs" will help us.
I personally have engaged in the wooing and loving gestures. I tell her alot how gorgeous and alluring I find her after 7 years of marriageand 2 children. There is no physical issue preventing us from being intimate. I do understand that sometimes she "just doesnt want to" I really do understand alot of the things that keep us from being intimate. When it comes to a woman making excuses to get out of it instead of confronting the problem, this is what drives men nuts!!!
As I explained earlier men are the simple ones here. All women know what we want and how to give it to us. The fact is that they seem to want to control men by not giving it to us, hence the reason for such a high divorce rate.
Example; If a woman continues to deny her man sex, he will seek it elsewhere. There is always another symapthetic woman somewhere else to give it to you.
I agree with alot of the other comments here from men because men don't over analyze, women do!
In parting, women can help themselves gain more compliments and affection by rocking our worlds in the sack than by using us to make themselves "Feel Better" before they give it up.
Ok then, after reading the 5 reasons above….I am even more annoyed at my situation!!! I have been married for all of 4 months and I dont think I even have a sex life anymore. It is barely a once a week hump and even at that she wont get on top, give head, or play any part except lay on her back!! BTW we are both late 20's….WTF!! She has let herself go something awful, rolls of fat on her belly, no more trimming downstairs and farts in bed and at the table!! I feel as if I have been conned!!!
And what do the experts say? Tell her she is sexy, make sure you are doing everything right!! You have got to be kidding me people!! How long do the experts think I should put up with this scenario??
This is crap!! I looked @ this web site to get answers. What the hell kinda answers are these? Anyways i ve been with my wife 5 years married 2. The sex has stoped maybe 2 times a month and I'm only 25 and she's 21. Young has nothing 2 do with it. When I want sex she gets upset and after a long time she throwsa the cover and yells (c'mon man. You've got till 2 and its only 150) I stay home and take care of the kidz (2) 4 and 8 months. I cook, clean, and do man chores aswell. She says she tired after work but yet she still go out to the club after work. If she's tired would she go out 2 the club? I don't think so.. she's cheating on me and I know it. But she won't admit it. Fuck her!!!!!
Ah, so, basically, whatever's wrong is the man's fault. Wife gain 20 pounds and start clamping her legs shut? Your fault for not making her feel sexy. She doesn't want sex anymore? Your fault because you're horny all the time, and if you go a month without sex you should be able to do dinner, a movie, dessert, conversation over wine, pillow talk, and two hours of foreplay before and two hours of snuggling afterward without getting the least bit impatient, or you're a selfish pig. Is she hostile and uncommunicative? Again, your fault. If you try to talk to her about your sex life, she's going to know that's all you think about and feel like a whore. Does she act like sex is a chore? Your fault. You're not making love to her emotions with your brain for three days before trying to initiate sex, like any good man would. In fact, if you're a young, healthy man who desires sexual intimacy with your wife, you should basically kill yourself because there's something wrong with you and everything bad in your marriage is you and your penis's fault.
Oh, and if she cheats? Your fault. You should have been a better man. All your fault.
Women have been spoils of war for 100s of thousands of years. A victorious army would take all the worthy women from the losing side keeping the healthy good looking ones for sex / breeding and the stronger ugly ones to work. The ugly useless ones would be killed (today we give them high paying jobs in the public service) Women still present themselves as being of value to an invading army (read: other blokes) by wearing various hair colours, false breasts, high heels etc etc – Women are hard wired into being spoils of war and are not wired to make important decisions. Compare that to todays society where we give women voting rights and let them make major decisions about how life is organised. As a result we now have the breakdown of society and the family unit leading to increased violence and mental illness – all because we gave women the right to make decisions about money and family that thay have never been equipped to make. Women will always decide not to have sex anymore becuas ethey know trhat by breaking up a family unit they have a greater chance of keeping most of the money – this seems attractive to someone not used to being financially independent with no decision making skills – The only decision a woman can make is to end a relationship or to break up a family. By keeping the relationship together she is not making her decision but is doing aht her man wants so if she wants to be a strong new age woman she has to break up the relationship to prove to herself how modern and capable she is. See the pattern here – women are predicatble and have been trained to act a certain way yet we have allowed them to make decisions way beyond their capacity. Chaos and misery for all is the end result.
WOW!!! Women are responsible for all of the chaos and misery in the world??? I can't wait for the responses that you will get to that intelligent statement!
What a load of macho BS. Women are the spoils of war. Give me a break! If anything we're the recipients of the spoils of war. Ask my first EX. No one, except my EX, cared that I cheated the last two years of the marriage. I received custody of our daughter, stayed in our home, and received a large settlement for child support. So it really doesn't matter if we're naughty or nice, in most instances we are the WINNER in the divorce wars. Don't think most women do not realize that fact.
I think the problem with your rediculous and absurd comments is you guys are thinking with the smaller head between your legs. And I'll bet it is small at that!
Kelly
Elohel,
Amen……..
Brett,
Not a good way to make friends……
Kelly,
You are a gold-digger
Patrick,
She is cheating on you< wake up