So your wife just doesn't ring your bell anymore right? It's a common complaint…"my wife just isn't sexy anymore"…what can I do?

When you married her, she was slim, sexy, lively and fun. Now, a couple of kids later, she is tired, a little overweight, concerned about the bills and doesn't put her makeup on anymore.

Suddenly your find yourself exchanging flirts with your hot new neighbor and you actually fantasize about having an affair with her. That long blonde hair, that tight little butt, those perky boobs, that smile, those "Angelina Jolie" lips…umm…what you could do with those right?

Okay, snap out of it. Back to reality. Your "unsexy" wife…what do you do about her? You love her, you just need for her to spruce up a bit so you feel attracted to her again. You really don't want to cheat on her.

Life tends to get in the way of the "sexy part" for women. When you first got together, it was all about just the two of you. She always looked her best for you and you always made her feel beautiful, appreciated and loved. She felt valuable to you.

Then, life happened. You started taking each other for granted.

You've both have stopped focusing on being your best at all times haven't you? Yes, you have too. You, as a man have some pretty "unsexy" traits that weren't obvious in the beginning either. You belch, you fart, you scratch, you hog the remote and you have developed a wee case of dickdo.

Have you considered that maybe your wife doesn't find you sexy anymore either?

Instead of approaching your wife in a manner that will put her on the defensive, how about making "being sexy" a joint project? Face it, you could both use a little "tune up".

When you get home from work today, instead of plopping your ass on the couch saying "honey bring me a beer", do this…

Go have a shower and a shave. Put on some cologne and dress nicely. (This is not the time to come out wagging what's under the bath towel while going "woo-woo baby!") From behind, give your wife a hug while gently kissing the nape of her neck. Present her with a single flower and an invitation to dinner. I can almost guarantee you that the response will be desirable.

Try suggesting to your wife that your think that the two of you have gotten into a rut. Tell her that perhaps the two of you should adjust your focus a little bit…a little less on the "house and home" and a little more on what the two of you need as a couple. Ask her if there is something that she needs from you! Don't make the responsibility for the lack luster relationship totally her fault. Let her know that you love her and that you are willing to make some changes too.

Be honest but be tactful. Don't tell her that she just doesn't get you there anymore or you will fast learn that she feels the same about you. Instead, discuss your needs in a loving, non-accusatory manner. Never blame! Reminisce about a time when the two of you couldn't keep your hands off from each other. Remind her that you do still love her and value her and that you would like to recapture some of those moments of desire. Suggest rekindling some of those feelings in on a romantic weekend get-away.

I have always believed that having great sex and a good relationship is a mind game. You get out of it, what you put into it.
I have said before…"If your mind is in a happy place, your body will follow!"


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