I am pretty sure that most people that have heard of Dr. John Gray Ph.D., the author of the famous best selling book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

The book was published back in 1992. It's old but definitely not outdated!

A friend of mine gave me my copy long ago during one of my heightened states of confusion about males!

If you haven't read it, I recommend it. You can find it on his site, MarsVenus.com You may not agree with everything in there because I think it does "excuse" a lot of men's thoughtlessness, however it also explains it!

It does give both sides a different perspective on things.

I have always believed that men and women were from different planets and this book illustrates just how different we really are.

As couples, we are constantly misunderstanding each other's motives and that leads to trouble! One misunderstanding leads to another and another. Communication stops and two people who were once in love, are out looking for someone new who "understands them". Let the cheating begin!

Here's a little example:

Ladies, have you ever wondered why, when you suggest a solution to an obvious problem your husband or partner is having, he gets upset with you?

Ten minutes later, his best buddy offers the same suggestion and your husband thinks it's the best idea he has heard all day? He follows through and is pleased a punch with the outcome.

You're left standing there with your mouth hanging open in total disbelief…

"But I just told you that!"

So, why don't guys like hearing advice from women? Is it just that male ego thing going on?

You know who I ask these questions of now? My ex-husband. Yup! Now that we are divorced and no longer perceive each other's inquiries as "meddling" we can give each other honest answers. It's a shame that we didn't/couldn't do that when we were married!

Life's funny isn't it?

So I asked my ex-husband:

Why on earth did you get so ticked off that time I tried to tell you how to fix the front step? You wouldn't listen to me and ended up just walking away in disgust. Then, when Craig (our neighbor) offered the same suggestion, you accepted it as being a "good idea" and went ahead and did it!

His answer was:

I didn't ask you for help and I guess I just saw it as you, trying to take control of my situation. You offering your suggestion made me think that you didn't feel that I was capable of handling the project and wanted to take control. Men hate to be wrong, especially in front of a woman.

• I thought I was being helpful.
• He thought I was trying to belittle and control him.
• I became resentful of his willingness to accept "my idea" from someone else.
• He became frustrated with my annoyance over something so "petty" and my "chilly" behavior afterward.

We didn't divorce over this incident.

That was just one little "straw" in the pile that broke the camel's back. And so it goes…

The solution? According to John Gray, don't offer a man help unless he asked for it! If he never asks, never offer!

Isn't that why we spend hours driving around lost?


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