Staying Together, Stop Them, Why Do We Cheat?

Orgasms – Was It Good For You?

Sounds like a dumb question doesn’t it? Not at all!

In spite of our increasing sexual awareness, lack of information or misinformation can often cause problems for many couples.

Sex therapists claim that [tag-ice]passionate[/tag-ice], intimate, mind-blowing sex is the key to a happy, lasting relationship. Porn movies depict insatiable couples consumed by hot, creamy, multiple eruptions.

For the record – back that porn movie up and look at it again. These are not sexual super beings! You will see the same scene spliced together two and sometimes three times in succession to give you more bang for your buck. Pardon the pun!

So what’s wrong with you? Nothing!

Just as women face social pressure to have orgasms from intercourse, men feel similar pressures to “perform” well. Let’s face it…we are under lot of self-imposed pressure in the bedroom! The high expectations we place on ourselves and our partners amounts to the same type of stress created in the workplace when you have a job to do and a deadline to meet.

Men feel inadequate if they are unable to bring a women to the point of no return and women worry that they are not normal when they don’t quite get there. Likewise, women look for male ejaculation to indicate success on their part.

Since men and women tend to rate the success of any sexual encounter on an orgasmic outcome, we should know more about the subject.

In the 2003 Durex Global Sex Survey, 150,000 participants were asked how often they reached an orgasm.

While more than a third (35%) had an orgasm every time they had sex, men were far more likely to do so than women – 45% compared to 17%.

More experienced lovers were most likely to have an orgasm every time they had sex with almost half of those in the 35-plus age group (48%) claiming to do so, compared to less than a third (32%) of 16-20 year olds.

This is good news for the millions of us who don’t quite feel that we measure up! It proves that great sex doesn’t just happen, it comes with experience.

Here are some other things to be aware of:

• Reaching an orgasm is not necessary to have an enjoyable experience. It is certainly the “icing on the cake” but it is just not going to happen every time.

• For men, an orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing. It is possible for a man to have an orgasm without ejaculating although men seldom distinguish between the two.
• Once a man does ejaculate, there is a period afterward where he becomes super sensitive and further stimulation is undesirable. This often happens for women too. The time needed to ‘recharge’ between sessions gets longer with age.
• Since men require much less stimulation to reach an orgasm than do women, they are often sexually satisfied just as a women is getting close to her own climax. Women, knowing that men stress over their performance will often ‘fake’ an orgasm so as not to make a man feel inadequate.
• Eighty percent of all women do not climax with vaginal penetration alone. They usually require stimulation of the clitoris or the mystical ‘G-Spot’ located on the front wall of the vagina. Many men do not know this and women are often too shy to tell.
• Men have a ‘G-spot’ too! It is a dime-sized soft spot between the anus and scrotum called the prostate-perineum. The nerves that control a man’s erection, orgasm, and ejaculation, converge at this sensitive little spot, making it his “command center” for sexual pleasure. Many men will not tell women of this spot. They fear that it is too close to their anus and worry that it might be an indication of sexual orientation.
• Mutual simultaneous orgasms among couples are very rare. They can and do happen occasionally but they are not the gauge by which anyone should measure sexual compatibility. They are better left to the movies!
• There is no such thing a ‘normal’ when it comes to orgasms. The experience differs in intensity and frequency for everyone.

So, mind blowing sex is a complicated thing isn’t it? Men and women alike, worry about their performance and ability to get each other off. There are hidden ‘pleasure points’ that people are too shy to talk about. Where is the joy? No wonder we look outside of our relationships for stress-free, no-strings-attached sex!

Personally, I think that great sex starts with your mind. Sex isn’t just about the mechanics of how a male and female body fit together to bump and grind. It’s a state of mind! It’s the mental foreplay that begins long before the first touch.

Why is an unexpected one night stand so damned hot? Because you spent the evening exchanging mental fireworks with a total stranger. A look, a smile, a brief touch, teasing, flirting – the electricity between you built to explosive levels long before the physical act of sex ever took place. This person may not have been the best sexual partner you have ever had but, in your mind, this was going to be a [tag-tec]erotic[/tag-tec], orgasmic encounter and it was!

That’s the power of your mind!

Use it on your spouse or partner. Let yourself go. I’m betting that neither of you will have to ask – “Was it good for you?”!

Sources:
AskMen.com
Mental Foreplay

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