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Are You Tempted To Cheat?
by Cindy English · 5 Comments
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How many of us if we were 100 percent honest would admit that at some point, we have wanted to cheat on a partner or spouse?
I know that I certainly have and let me say that I consider myself to be a 'good' person with sensible moral values. By sensible, I mean that I do try to 'do the right' thing in most situations.
However, I do not agree that everything in life is cut and dry, black or white, right or wrong. I think that it depends on the situation and no two are alike.
How many of us have those secret, hidden desires, or fantasies that we would like to act on? How many of us have found ourselves caught up in a moment of forbidden sexual tension with someone other than our partner? A moment that was so heated and so arousing that all reasoning escaped you. Remember…we are being 100 percent honest here!
Hell, if you are alive at all, temptation is everywhere. "Just say no" – right? Easier said than done. Ask any overweight person trying to resist that gorgeous piece of triple fudge chocolate cake. Ask the smoker who has just flushed a whole package of cigarettes only to race out and buy another pack a couple of hours later.
Same difference. We all have our needs, our vices and our addictions.
Some people crave emotional connections, some people enjoy erotic adventures and some people are just plain addicted to sex.
We all deal with our sexual desires and demons in different ways.
- There are a lot of couples who have what is known an "open relationship". They actively and knowingly seek out other sexual partners.
- There are couples who call themselves "swingers" and together engage in sexual activities with other like-minded couples.
- There are couples where one partner has lost the desire to have sex but does not prohibit the other from seeking it elsewhere.
- There are couples where one or both partners have at sometime given in to the temptation of cheating but still managed to continue a healthy, loving relationship.
- There are couples who have never cheated and wholeheartedly stand by their belief that it is immoral and intolerable.
Who is to say definitively that any one of these lifestyles is right or wrong? Your way is not necessarily my way. What's right for you, may not be right for me. Doesn't make either of us wrong!
How we handle the urge to cheat may be the difference between right and wrong. If you feel that you are being drawn into forbidden places consider talking to your partner up front about it.
Surprisingly, many people find their spouse has become just as bored with the routine as you have. Perhaps the two of you will find a way to 'spice it up' together. There are alternatives.
If, on the other hand, you are faced with a partner who is unable or unwilling to meet your needs, you have a decision to make. Do you leave or do you cheat?
The decision is yours and yours alone. No one else knows your situation. No one else (in spite of the drivel in the forums) is qualified to judge you. Woman have been scorned for standing by their men – men have been treated with contempt for cheating on their wives.
The notion that the cheating spouse is simply a selfish, heartless human being while the other is completely blameless is not likely.
Think about your own relationship. For every word there is a corresponding thought. For every action there is a reaction. Everything we do, we do for a reason.
Because that reason is not apparent to the world, doesn't necessarily make it wrong.
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Beautiful Enslavement
I think anyone that says they have not been tempted to cheat is not being 100% honest. I gave in almost 5 years ago after the birth of my daughter. It quickly filled the void for me that was missing in my marriage. My first EX caught me and gave me another chance. The second time he caught me we divorced. So, in my opinion although cheating is dangerous, it is well worth the risk. I would advise anyone in a loveless marriage to go for it. Just don't sit back and take what life brings you. Yes cheating is very addictive but it's one of the few bad habits I truly love.
Kelly
JMO…but when we make "excuses" for bad behavior, then we've truly lost the whole concept of honesty and morality.. What happened that made it okay to deliberately hurt someone else for the thrill of it? I sit here shaking my head in disbelief!!
The first thing I completely disagree with is your use of excuses. IMHO women today have valid “reasons” they enter into affairs, not “excuses.” In case you haven’t noticed the terrific increase of women involved in affairs I’ll tell you affairs are rapidly becoming socially acceptable for women. There is a new morality evolving. I’m afraid some people do get hurt as the result of affairs. But believe me it’s far from deliberate. It goes with the territory I’m afraid. No one likes lying as well. But it goes without saying lies are necessary to pull off affairs. I’ll repeat myself. The reward is well worth the risk.
Samantha,
Ms. Worthington-Summers obviously has no conscience. I would guess it is pretty convenient for her as she has no guilt resulting from her lies and cheating. Unfortunately there are scores of women out there just like her. My EX in fact did the same number on me that Ms. Worthington-Summers did on her first EX, and without any guilt or remorse. It’s pretty amazing. No, there is no new morality, just way to many unfeeling and immoral women. Sadly it’s fashionable now to be a cheater and a liar.