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Uncle Sam Is To Blame!
by Cindy English · 2 Comments
This article is just my rambling thoughts about serial monogamy or multiple marriages.
I have been thinking more about "Julie", the woman I spoke of in the article "Children Are The Real Victims Of Infidelity".
Apart from a fear of being alone, I think that money, or rather the lack or it, is a serious factor in serial monogamy.
Serial Monogamy – a succession of short monogamous relationships (as by someone who undergoes multiple divorces)
I know a lot of people who have been married and divorced multiple times. I know a lot of children who have multiple brothers and sisters by different parents.
Often it seems that when people end one relationship, they quickly move onto the next without really getting to know their new partner very well. The quick turn around time on relationships is partly motivated by financial needs. The idea that two can live cheaper than one.
That is not to say that greed is the motivator – survival is!
When the 2007 poverty level in the U.S. is $10,210 for a single person and the Federal minimum wage is $5.85, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that a single person, on their own, cannot survive very well. No one can make it on $800 to $1000 a month, I don't care how frugal they are.
That doesn't even cover rent and a vehicle payment unless you are living in a tent and riding a bicycle. That isn't particularly funny either because I know people who are actually doing that!
This is of course over simplified, but, it seems to me that we can't afford to be single for long so we quickly begin living with a new partner without truly knowing whether or not we are compatible.
A new relationship is always exciting, feels good and of course, you can live more comfortably with two incomes so, you go for it.
The trouble is that the "glow" of new love always wears off. When it does, you may find that you are not really good together. Because you didn't take the time to get to know each other first, you now find yourself in an unbearable union.
So, you move on and the pattern repeats itself.
I believe that we enter each new relationship with the best of intentions and high hopes. I just think that sometimes finances may not allow us the time to accurately assess of our new potential mate.
Does that make sense?
Rather than to assume that people are just fickle by nature (and there could be some truth to that!)…
Can we blame Uncle Sam for serial monogamy? 
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Beautiful Enslavement
You are so right. Everyone, including women with multiple divorces, enter each new relationship with the best intentions and high hopes. And you're right about financial matters entering into the equation for some, not all. I've had several girlfriends for which remarrying made sense financially. For me it's somewhat different. I like a number of the various aspects of marriage. I like having a husband. And I've entered each marriage with the hopes it will last for a respectable period. But I always meet some hottie that I just have to have sex with. You know what I'm talking about. The guy that you just can't pass up. In addition, I grew up with serial monogamy. My Mom is just like me, or should I say I'm just like her.
One more thought on serial monagamy; divorce is so very easy now. At least that's the case in no fault states. Why not take another whirl on the marriage-go-round? If it turns out to be a mistake or you decide you just have to be with your affair partner, you always have an easy out. So's who's counting anyway? And yes the pattern does repeat itself.
I would be really interested in seeing a comparison of the number of women with multiple divorces in no fault states vs those in states where divorce is difficult and time consuming.