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The Anatomy Of An Affair 
22:49 by Cindy English · 2 Comments
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Dr. Reena Sommer, Ph.D., has authored a very helpful book called “The Anatomy Of An Affair“.
I read the book and found it to be very helpful. What I appreciated most about it was a calm and sensible approach to understanding why an affair happens in the first place.
Often times, we get hung up in the “man vs woman”, “villain vs victim” routine when it comes to explaining why an affair happens.
I found none of that in Dr. Sommer’s book. In fact, unlike other books written about infidelity, her book does not takes sides or make judgments. Instead, it emphasizes the importance of understanding the dynamics of how affairs develop regardless of which side of the fence you are on.
She makes it very clear that in order to move on, heal or perhaps even rekindle the lost romance, couples first have to understand how their relationship arrived at the point where adultery could have been committed in the first place.
She encourages people to understand their [tag-ice]cheating_spouses[/tag-ice] by putting themselves in their spouses shoes. Not so surprisingly, when this is done, often the partner who was cheated on can see that they played a role in it.
This doesn’t mean that your partner “drove you to it” is a valid excuse, simply that both partners contributed to the circumstances that allowed an affair to take place.
“Affairs are not the cause of a relationship break-up…instead they are the symptom of a relationship that is highly lacking!”
This book clearly illustrates as it suggests, The Anatomy Of An Affair with several excellent case studies. But, by not getting sidetracked by the “cheater” or “cheated” perspective, this book gets to the heart of the matter.
This book will not tell you what you should do. That must be your decision. What it will do is give you the information, understanding and insight that you need to make a calm, informed decision about your future.
My advice? I think anyone being affected by the pain of [tag-tec]infidelity[/tag-tec] should read this book before making any decisions about their future. Acting in haste, driven by anger does not allow for clarity and good judgment. This often results in regret.
Divorce does not have to be the inevitable outcome of an affair.
Dr. Reena Sommer’s book will help you to see that!
I give it !
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Excellent. “Affairs are not the cause of a relationship break-up…instead they are the symptom of a relationship that is highly lacking!”
People decide to have an affair for many reasons. They could have become disappointed with their marriage expectations which may have been too high to fulfil or they may simply want to carry on having an open relationship as they have in their past…