About

My name is Cindy English and I am the woman behind 'Our Cheating Ways'.

Before we get into the "about" stuff, I want to make it perfectly clear that I am not a counselor, therapist or relationship doctor. I don't have a Psy.D, a Ph.D, a Masters or any other fancy title attached to my name to impress you.

I am simply a woman, mid-way through life, who sees the world going to "hell in a hand basket" with no one to blame but ourselves.

Our promiscuous, cheating ways are having a detrimental effect on our society. Unless we stop blaming others and take responsibility for our own behaviors, things will not improve.

It does take two to tango! People do not cheat because things are "perfect" at home.

Therefore, many of the articles that I write are just my opinions and intended only to make you think. This site is set up so that you may comment on any article you wish. Some articles may piss you off, others may have an "aha!" effect.

Say so! I want to know what you think!

I am neither condemning or condoning cheating. I have been on both sides of the fence. I simply think how we handle adultery has some devastating side-effects for our society.

With that said…

Why create this site?

Because nobody really talks about infidelity. There are plenty of sites out there flogging a dead horse – all men who cheat are the 'scum of the earth' and the women are the innocent victims.

Visit the forums and you will find that the sympathy is almost always with the woman. If one man even attempts to explain his wayward behavior, what happens? Right!

I believe that there are always two sides to every story. We seldom hear it from the man's point of view because the women are louder and far more venomous. The men usually give up without an explanation or a fight.

Men are not the only ones cheating, so let's at least be fair about it. Today, women are fast evening the score by joining the ranks of the unfaithful.

There is no one definitive reason as to why people cheat. Every situation is unique. Every person who cheats is not a "bad" person. If that were true, there are a whole lot of bad people out there!

I believe that the lack of communication and the inability to express our needs to each other often lays the foundation for adultery. Unfortunately, divorce is usually imminent.

It's been 12 years since my husband and I divorced due to his wandering ways. To say that our divorce had a profound effect on my life would be an understatement.

I no longer believe that infidelity is an unpardonable offense. Although it was my husband who did the cheating, I know that I played a role in it. I wish I had handled things differently but, as they say, hindsight is 20/20.

It is my hope that this site will provide a platform where people from both sides of the fence can be comfortable. A place to discuss infidelity objectively and intelligently. A place to examine the possible causes, weigh the consequences and perhaps find alternatives and solutions.

By honestly communicating with others in similar situations, you may just see yourself. You may even come to realize that there are solutions. Divorce does not have to be a foregone conclusion.

Good Luck!