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Why Do All Men Look At Other Women?
23:55 by Cindy English · 110 Comments
This has got to be the world’s dumbest question
Here’s my answer:
Ummm…because they are not blind???
Ladies, how can you expect your man not to look at that sexy woman that just passed by?
He’s normal isn’t he?
He’s just married to you, he’s not dead.
It is positively stupid, but women do expect their men to just “quit looking” the minute they commit to a relationship.
Is that reasonable? You know that men are very visual. That’s how you snagged him in the first place isn’t it?
Face it, a well tanned, toned, scantily clad female body is a thing of beauty – to anyone.
Everyone knows it.
Guys drool over it.
Women count it.
Advertisers thrive on it.
Why?
I think it was “Sable” from World Wrestling Entertainment fame who said it best:
“For all the men who come to see me and all the women who want to be me…”
Hey guys…here’s a little secret. You know that hot babe that you were just looking at? Your wife was looking too!
What? No way!
Yup. Women look at other women. Women check out men’s magazines. Women watch porn.
No, not “kinky“…you wish! A lot of women are very critical, self conscious and insecure about their bodies. They look because they are curious.
Some women have questions about their bodies but are too embarrassed to ask anyone, so they “compare” themselves to others to see if they are normal.
Sometimes, they just want to know if they “measure up” or if they’ve “still got it”.
As for the porn…
A Ladies Home Journal survey found that 47% of women reported using [tag-ice]erotica[/tag-ice] or pornography to heighten their sexual experiences.
So, the next time you want to gawk at that sexy chick crossing the street try to include your wife in the experience. You could say something like:
“Honey, that woman is really pretty, it’s just too bad she doesn’t have a beautiful, well rounded ass like you do.”
While your wife is appreciating you criticism of the woman’s flawed rear end, you will have a few more seconds to zero in on her nearly perfect boobs!
Seriously though…ladies, unless your husband trips over his tongue and inadvertently pushes you under a passing bus while looking at that other women…lighten up!
Misplaced [tag-tec]jealously[/tag-tec] can create unnecessary problems in a relationship!
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Yes! And guess what – it works the other way around too! It has been well proven that women have better peripheral vision to seek out mates without their man catching them! Women look at guy’s butts and bodies constantly but are better at hiding it. No big deal! Al chicks like Brad Pitt – it’s not for his personality…
My opinion !! Well it is seriously rude … and very inconsiderate to your partner. I can see a glance but not staring time after time and to every woman.. This is just a sign that he is no longer interested …
i think that it is rude when a boyfriend or husband looks at anouther woman infront of there girlfriends or wifes because it just makes us feel like they are unatracted to us and they just want someone like the girl they were staring at so ya guys it is rude if you really love your girlfriend or wife dont be a jerk and dont do that to her .
yup i agree to those ladies that thinks it is rude. YEA BUT MEN why do you need to feed your souls with other women when you’ve got your girlfriend or wife? I don’t understand. You got us alright but it seems like you are not satisfied so you then look and look and look. And if you can’t control you can end up cheating. SO LOOKING IS THE SAME AS SURFING AROUND TO SEE WHAT IS GOOD OUT THERE that has the potential.
Yea I”ve heard of the excuse “at least I am looking at your presence and not hiding it from you”. Yup it is scary If you are looking staring at a women when you are with us WHAT MORE DO YOU WHEN WE ARE NOT AROUND?
I think it is very painful. I’ve been a habitual victim of my man’s looking at other women. It really really hurts and decreases your self esteem.
Men will never understand the way we women feel about this gesture. I agree with Cristy, it opens up infidelity when a man continually does that especially in the presence of their wives or girlfriends! Though I understand it is an inherent in a man to do this, and trust me, we women can really understand the logic to that, nevertheless it does not remove the pain that we feel each time it is done to us.
When you are married, you have to choose your battles. Though painful, we just shrug our shoulders and chuck it to painful experience worthy yet again…of a page in our journal.
the women they look at are all phonies with their fake breast and what ever else they had done so really the jokes on these stupid men . they need to grow up and see what they have in their girlfreinds or wife .
You guys want us to be confident, yet your eyes are everywhere but on us…the one that puts up with all your quirks, the one you just had sex with….how would it affect your pride or relationship to think your woman wished you were bigger, more muscular, had more hair, whatever?
I was onced tho i was in loved….but relised i was a monkey ,my block at the time had eye on other girls & said he wanted her….well dat killed all of me. But now im in a new realtionship, and i saw him eyeing up my mate called her georguse…and the image in my head. I cant sleep it been with me for month. people say im pritty. but i damn ugly. as men look at others…I never wana be in another relationship,.. the thought of a man looking at me, make me feel dirty and used.. Men arnt pig or monsters…but a compleat wast of space…nothing…not even dirt.
I never wana get married….my dreams are shatter…im 100% prove of what men idea of ok behavir can do…a horrible mental scar and fear bedding into us women.
Yeah I agree with Andrea Peters, it really does hurt when your man is looking at another women and think it is ok. My boyfriend/babyfather looks at other women all the time when we are riding together. He looks at them and looks like he is about to break his neck over them. I don’t understand why he does that. He looks at women on tv and says that they look sexy and not bad looking I hate that. If you like her then go with her then instead of me. It makes my self esteem very low. I feel worthless. How do I not feel that way and feel confident. I don’t want to get emotional over that anymore.
To the woman who published this…you must be dating a man who makes you believe this baloney.
While I agree that beauty is all around us in male and female form..you would have to be pretty hard up to remain with a man who while talking to you was staring at someone else…period. Yes there are visuals everywhere ( and guess what wone notice that too!!), but respect is respect no matter what and believe me start looking at other hot men’s bodies while your man is focusing on you and all hell will break loose. There is a balance and respect…on both parts, in all areas of a relationship. If that works for you then you must also do the same tasteless thing….but good for you if it works in your own world. I love seeing attractive women as much as attractive men but if I was honestly doing it to the point the I was making someone else feel unconfortable or sensitive about their own bodies etc…then something would have to give.
Lets face it, 99% of our healthy male population will look at women. But, women, dont we look as well??? When they are looking, we some how always follow their eyes and zero in on whatever they are looking at! You know its true! The point is, while we are busy checking out a stud of a guy, your man doesnt even notice, because he’s looking out for the next chick that comes along! Here is where I add that a man looks, catches you catching him looking, and then lies about it. Why??? What else can he do? Men can’t think that quickly anyway – forgive them ladies – they are such simple creatures!
This would explain why he doesnt get angry with you. We obsess so much over our men looking at other women (and it is our right to do so) but while we are having a cow over it, your guy is loving all the attention you are giving him. Let up sometimes – its in a man’s nature to stare at women. Really and truly, we havent moved as far away from the stone age as you think. Give a man a club, and he may really hit you on the head with it and drag you home to shag!
Some men not only look, they have the audacity to speak about the other women’s bodies. “oh that bartender has a hot body”. and if he is a big enough pig, he will ask his girlfriend to tell others about him in bed. There are many problems with that, one being that he is NOT good in bed but thinks he is. Some men are so lost they chase after ex-girlfriends who basically hate him, but he is so lame he cannot see it. We don’t want him anywhere near us or our friends or family. He is a complete embarassment. Maybe if he stopped smoking pot 5 times a day he would realize other people have feelings.
i agree with christy
if they look when v r around, can just imagine what they do when v r not around?
i mean thts really rude and makes us feel more concious and insecure. my man has been doing it and iv been fighting over with him endlessly. and now v r just in a relation, i dont know whats gonna happen once v get married? by this behaviour i dont even feel like marrying him.
I know it hurts and make you feel bad. But don’t let it! Men are the lesser species and kind of animal like! Very aggressive and seem to be stronger than women…..NOT! WE ARE STRONG TOO! We allow society, our fathers, our brothers, our boyfriends, our so call lovers and whomever have that thing hanging you know where to make us feel less of a women!
So women suck it up, we can’t change them from their bad manners and sneaky ways. But we can change US! Change us within. We are beautiful in all shape and sizes. LADIES, if I cud write a book, I wud! But no one wants to hear about another sad blah, blah ,blah!
So let the pathetic souls look………….cuz to me a man that’s satisfy with himself will be happy with just one women and dont have to look like a pervert! Oh by the way,you damn right I look too……..And again…….. you women are beautiful in all shapes, sizes, and creed! love you and don’t gotta know you!
men don’t know what they want.the may date a hottie but they still look at other girls.
I think it is so hurtful though.
I literally dont look or see attractive men anymore.
I ONLY have eyes for MY husband.
I assumed the same from my husband.
He recently purchased a incredibly STUPID movie,just because he KNEW there would be female nudity in it.
He can see me naked anytime he wants,so I just dont understand,I told him this.
He apoligized,but I have noticed his eyes straying more and more.
I just think if things were switched,where I jerked my head around every time a young hunk passed and purchased movies that I knew Brad Pitt was mostly naked in,that men couldnt handle it!!
They all say “well,we gotta look baby” but if we switched it around on them,I bet they would be just as upset and insecure!!
Men are lying sneaky pigs…LOL…good, now that I got that out my system…I have told my husband that looking is natural and that I look too…it is the lying about it and oggling that I hate. So of course he says he does not oggle anymore and that I am the sexiest woman he knows….I believe he thinks I’m sexy…but if you are insecure like I am, you always feel they are wishing you looked just a little more like the bimbo he is looking at, no matter how much he loves you and says he is not.
Whatever! It makes me crazy…so for MYSELF I am going to believe him and who knows…maybe it is true and hey, I look too….I can really get into a sexy looking man…but I am More into my husband simply because I am in love with him…so I am holding on to belieivng this is how he feels about me too. It doesn’t hurt that about a year ago he said that his wife was the sexiest women alive in his sleep and I am positive he was sleeping, I just know the difference. I cried for about a half hour, I was so touched by it.
You know, I can see both sides to this argument and have been all sides of this issue at one point or another myself. I think a lot of people are right in saying that if we turned the tables on the guys who not just look but stare and did the same thing, they likely WOULD freak out. I think this is because men can be just as jealous and insecure as women are accused of being, only they hide it more or express it differently. I also think it’s a control issue where one person wants to be able to do something but gets upset if their mate/partner does the same thing.
How cavemanish and non-evolved.
Boo.
I am so sick of the the lies of men in almost every relationship. why cant they just be honest and say, oops you caught me, but im really not trying to stare at that woman. we have let men get away with the stares for so long and say hey, thats what men do. If you love your woman you should give her respect, and look at her especially when a woman walks by. you can see at a distance who is coming your way, why not let that temptation pass and see what love and respect you get back from your girl… hey guys try a new line sometime. were getting sick of the old ones!!!!!! get over yourself. its not ok to look or lust after other women. looking gets you,started in all kinds of things that break up your relationships. so if you really love her stop looking at hte women who would never be there for you through the bad times, never give up anything and never give you respect, she will take everything from you. especially the best thing you ever had. so think with your right head!!
To Jodi:
Hey Jodi, how is this for an honest “new line”? “Yes dear, I WAS looking at that other woman but that doesn’t make me a cheater and since I didn’t die inside the day I married YOU, why don’t you get over it and get the hell off my back?” It’s honest and it’s new, does that work for you?
The funny thing I find about your statement is that woman who get all pissy about men staring at other woman are usually the ones that gawk the friggin’ eyes out of their skulls looking at other men when their hubbs are not around! But hey, it’s OK when women think with their ovaries, right?
Wow, this is sad. People try to justify everything so they don’t have to address the problems.
Ladies, don’t put up with your man looking at other women; he is capable of NOT looking, it’s just a struggle for him. Also, though, you can go easier on them BECAUSE it is a struggle for them. Support them and encourage them; don’t attack them and get angry. They are looking because it’s their own sinful nature, but instead of hating them for it, try to understand it and help them through it.
Men, seriously now… You have a beautiful wife/girlfriend who loves you to death. She’s beautiful, and she will actually have sex with you, why waste your time looking at other women who are typically disgusted with your lustful gaze. You’re hurting your significant other, along with making things harder on yourself. Do you ever wonder why women are so jealous? Because men look at other women, watch porn, and are generally horny bastards. Men cheat on their wives (I know that women cheat too, before you go all crazy) and women know all this and they’re afraid. If you want to be trusted to go hang out with your buddies, and if you want to be treated like you’re the best man in the world, act like it! If you happen to notice a beautiful woman walking by, fill your mind with thoughts of you and your wife together, and how beautiful SHE is.
So, to the person who wrote this article, it’s a very real, very hurtful thing for wives to find their man’s eyes wandering, and for men, it’s a very difficult struggle to keep their eyes from wandering. World’s dumbest question, huh?
Best thing to do is to look back. I promise you that you will find him looking quite less.
Really, I don’t really think it’s THAT bad for a guy to occasionally check out someone else. Just because he thinks that some chick is hot, doesn’t mean he’s stopped loving his partner. Nobody here can say that they’ve never EVER looked at someone else while they have a boyfriend or husband. It’s nothing serious. But if he’s constantly staring at many different woman’s asses, then I can see why you’d be mad. I would be too, truthfully. Hell, I’d be really mad. But, there are more important things to that. If he wanted to leave you for someone else, he would. So lighten up a bit, chicks.
for all you know, you’re one of those “chicks” that other guys check out.
Men aren’t as clever as they think. Yes, staring is natural for women and men alike, but it’s absolutely disrespectful when your significant other is sitting right next to you. A glance here and there is understandable, because, yes, women look as well, but when it becomes uncomfortable for your partner, that’s where you have to draw the line. It is a pass time that both women and men take part in, but should be very limited especially if you’re involved. Otherwise, you’d just be looked at as a creepy pervert and if your partner notices, the interrogation begins.
I agree with you Heather, I had this happen to me and I am attractive, so and so was that girl he stared at, but she was with her man whether boyfriend or lover I dont know but I think it was inappropriate way in which he stared directly at her behind, he is a huge jerk, and wonders why he is single and why I want nothing to do with him. If you cant have respect and decency for the person you are with, that speaks alot about you and in a negative way. and he had this I dont care attitude about it, just expected me to move on and drop it, I dont work that way. He was bad for me and there are plenty of fish in the sea, who will know how to treat and respect me the way we deserve as women. We shouldnt compete with each other ladies we should stand together against these kind of men.
I have the same argument with my boyfriend. He constantly stares at other women. It hurts my feelings. I will spend time and effort to look pretty /sexy for him but no matter where we go he will always stare at girls and I mean young girls 16 and up and he is 44! It is gross and disgusting. He also has to look the waitress up and down. I mean it is every even remotely attractive women. I will find him staring and staring and staring behind me and when I turn to look it is always some young girl. I say “oh, that’s what you are looking at” and he is always like “what are you talking about, I was looking at the archway of the door” No kidding ladies,this is what he said to me and he really expected me to believe it. I really do not enjoy going out to dinner and being with someone that is looking at every pretty girl. It is not very appetizing!
I just don’t understand, if they really love us why do they cannot take our feelings into account and try to respect us? It always makes me feel like I am not enough for him and that he is still looking for someone else.
I am not going to give up though. I am still looking for a man that is a man and can control his actions, like an adult person(not a little boy that cannot control his himself, even at the expense of loosing the girl that loves him.) Most men are soooo stupid!!!!! or should I say boys
Listen women do the same thing, the only difference is they look at guys! IT IS A FACT!!!!!! And as for the “more evolved” thing, if women are SO much more evolved then men, Why are you still so impressed by BIG SHINY OBJECTS!!!!!
I have been with my man for 9 month. We are engaged to be wed, and live together in a way. I noticed him looking at this brunette across the road at the school when we dropped off my daughter. He seemed to forget about us totally like we weren’t there. When she walked across the road, he nearly lost his footing as he was looking so much. When she passed us, he continued to look, ignoring me. He watched her walk into play ground, and I had to say to him twice, are we going now… I told him at home how I felt and he said he thought he knew her. He said a woman like that came into his shop and was after a vacuum cleaner. He said he was trying to catch her eye, cos he thought it was her.
So I dropped it, as he said she was in the shop… Took it.
Then we took my daughter to children’s play area, and over the room was this woman with long red hair. I knew he’d stare, and he sat in a position opposite, and I watched his eyes, for 1 hour glance over at her, sometimes he’d stare for 1 min, look down, ignoring me, had to talk to him and hold his hand to get his attention. Otherwise he’s be over at her looking.. I was really hurt by this.
On way home, I told him that I’d seen him stare at the woman non stop while there. Said I seen your eyes constantly looking her way… Said I am hurt, feel ugly, and said it’s disrespectful.
Again he said he knew her, that she was a friend of his ex girlfriend he was with 10 years back. He said that he wasn’t just looking at her, he was looking over at her pals as he knew them..
So every time I am out with him and he stars excessively at other woman, do I have to accept him lame excuses that he knows her..
I was a confident person, now when out with him, don’t feel confident anymore..
If he carries on doing this. I will leave him.
that shyt drives me crazy!!!!!!! My boyfriend/babyfather of 2 years, is BAD with staring. I noticed it when me and him first got together, in the early stages. He’d wanna go somewhere, or I’d catch him dazed off in a direction, or he’d be in the middle of talking to me, and literally stop talking while staring at some woman. I’ve felt so incredibly insecure and ugly, i used to SNAP OUT on him, all the time!!!! And Im finally starting to realize, that its not ME, its HIM. I see men stare at me all the time, just because he’s looking at some woman’s ass doesnt make me ugly, or not worthy of him. He’s the one that should be lucky that I’m with him and his nasty oogling ways in the first place. So now its almost like a game to me. while he’s over there being a pig and looking at and for other women walkin down the street while we’re ridin around, i count how many men i saw break their neck to look at me, and sneak a wink or two in while he wasn’t looking! And count how many times these females he’s breaking his neck for actually look at him. Ladies I promise you this, i ALWAYS come out the winner, and Im sure u will too. So at the time I see him looking at a female I say to myself, right… keep looking, it will never happen.. and he knows it. But i on the other hand, have proof that i could strike a conversation with ANY of the men that i catch oogling me that night. I’m not dead either! Don’t play games with women that can play them better! Cuz we can!
I am a female as well, so I can understand how all you ladies are “hurt” when your boyfriend/husband still look when they’re with you. This is the message I have for all men out there, Don’t look when you’re with your girlfriend/wife, it’s VERY disrespectful for us, if you love us, appreciate us, then you wouldn’t lay your eyes elsewhere. Because after all, not only those females you were looking at were all “made up” (facial cosmetic surgery, make up, airbrush, etc., etc.) you get the idea retards?
I just had enough with my boyfriend, however he’s very stubborn, he still loves me, I don’t give him another chance. Oneday, we were grocery shopping and I know exactly the kind of females he looks at. So this is the solution I came up with. I stopped and right infront of that woman he was looking at I said to him, you want this bitch go ahead, I don’t need you, I have enough of you being a pervert instead of a gentleman, followed by a kick and a slap on the face!
I am an attractive girl, so why does he still look, only god knows, it’s his bad genes!
Men who eye up other women are looking for something, trust that. I think it is skeevy, pervy, disrespectful behavior because let’s behonest, men are not women and they are looking at that other girl tofufill their need for variety and to populate their spank banks withwomen that aren’t you. It’s purely sexual and that’s why it’s so distasteful.
So guys, if you’re going to perv out do it on your own time. And if you feel you seriously can’t help it with your significant other around learn to do it discreetly.
The other thing that pisses women off about this behavior is the sheer humiliation. The woman your man is undressing with his eyes is getting a total ego stroke and believing that she can have your man when ever she wants – and the sad part is – she could. It’s been proven that men are not discriminating and if they are offered an opportunity to sleep with a strange woman – in a relationship or not – THEY WILL TAKE IT.
Women instinctively understand this. Staring down other women in her presence is therefore practically an invitation to infidelity. He may love you very deeply, but your man always has a desire to sleep with other women. Why do you think porn and prostitution and strip clubs exist? Getting sex is a male obsession.
So what are men looking for? There’s only one reason, ladies. They are different from us. Women are more driven by romance and connection and men more by lust. These are just biological facts. He is not simply admiring something pretty. He is undressing it with his eyes, filing it away for the next time he is alone with himself. It’s going to happen, he can’t turn it off, and you can’t expect it to be turned off for good.
However, it is reasonable to ask that he at least dial it down while he’s with you. And here’s a consolation. Just as he’s eyeing up other women, other men are eyeing up you. So always look your best. Good day.
me and my husband have had this disagreement several times. but listen, it is not that I did anything wrong or that I look bad it is him. I won’t lower my standards just to get back at him either. I have plenty of guys looking and holding doors open, asking me out, telling me I have beautiful eyes. so, i am looking at it like, if it takes another woman to satisfy your lustful desires go ahead. But, one day while you are looking another man may be looking and catch my eye and then I am gone.
This is depressing. What DOES it mean when you are out at a restaurant and your guy has to position himself in such a way that he can check out the hostess stand and the cute hostesses, yet he says he loves you, is planning to propose on your anniversary, what does it mean? When all through dinner, he is looking continuously at the clearly attractive hostess just beyond our own face across the table from them. If the guys could please answer this one, that would be great. Is it just that you like to look at a pretty girl, or is it that if that girl decided she wanted to be with you, you’d go for it? What gives? How about some insight into what exactly is going through your heads and what exactly you think about the person you are actually with?
And question number two… this one’s a biggie… should the girl say yes? Does this behavior indicate that the guy is still looking? I just don’t need the heartbreak.
I dread going out with him now. I get myself all done up, with the make up sexy clothes, so that hopefully he will look at me and not the slappers that pass him. I know the kind of woman he looks at. He’s really not fussy. I can pick them out. He’s been with very big woman, I am just your hour glass size 14. I even caught him looking at a girl who was about 16/17 at the park the other day, he kept looking over at her! At the cinema last night as every woman that came in, he looked, prob for about 3 seconds. Could see his head moving around. So now, I really dread going out with him! My confidence has dropped allot. I started to feel sexy and I lost Nealy 4 stone in 1 year. I was a size 18 moving to 20. Now on the top half I am size 12, bellow I am 14/16. I know other men cheak me out. I have joined a Gym recently and this guy looks at me, but out of respect for my Fiance, I don’t look at him. If I wanted to I could look at him, and talk to him. But I love my fiance and wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. When I am out, I don’t even look at another man. Even when other men are on the TV I don’t look. I hate watching girls on tv too. Feel sick when there’s woman’s breasts on show, and sit there feeling crap! We’re trying for a baby too… Juz don’t know what to do. We been together 10 months. I think I will give it a bit more time. But if he dares to look at another woman the way he did at the play area, constantly stare non stop. I may have serious words. I may end it. I think it’s best to tell your man who you feel, tell him it hurts you. A pal of mine has been with her husband since she was 16, she’s now 36. He’s the same, and will look constantly and is a terrible flirt. They were at a restaurant, and she was sat in front of him at the table. Some slapper walked in, busty blond hair. He kept looking through his wife, and kept looking constantly behind her. So his wife looked behind her and noticed this woman. So she said to her husband, excuse me you’re with me, I don’t give a shit who you look at if you re not with me. But I am with you, you look at me! He found it hard to keep his eyes to her, and was very hard for him to not look. I would of divorced him years ago if it were my husband.
If all of these comments are true, whats the point of marriage? If all men are interested in empty sex with every possible slut they can find, why do they ask women to marry them? seriously i want to hear what a guy has to say about whats going on in my marriage, I need advice. I am fairly hot. I would have sex with my husband and participate in the dirtiest fantasies for him, and I have a VERY high desire for sex. So then why would my husband rather ” take matters into his own hands ” while watching videos of other people having sex? Meanwhile Im frustrated as hell, my own needs not being met. And feeling very left out. I dont allow myself to check out other men, because I love my husband and want to avoid temptation. If I have to take care of my own business(which frankly isnt as fulfilling as sex with another person) i do it thinking about him. The more i fantasize about him , the more i want him. Its a conditioned response that re enforces my desire for him, and makes me even more blind to anyone else. My husband used to fantasize about me, and look at scores of sexy pictures of me while doing it- and our sex was frequent, unpredictable, and very fulfilling. Since hes been looking at internet porn, my pics have gone untouched, he has lost his desire for me, even to the point of not being able to come anymore unless he’s jacking off. He doesnt even kiss me anymore when we actually do have sex, and he just basically gets it hard, lets me get an o, then says “that was just for you honey” and we’re done. I hate this. I feel like its a mercy f#ck. I am utterly humiliated. I just turned 30, and he is 20 yrs older. He is in very good shape, and I know he can get it up. He told me he wasnt really interested in sex anymore, then I found the porn on the computer. It took me threatening to leave before he confessed. My question then is are there any men who don’t have to look at porn all the time, or who would rather have actual sex with their wives? Is there any hope for our intimacy to be restored? It wouldnt bother me if he looked at porn if he would channel that passion into our sex life, ie let me in on the ones that really excite him so we can play it out together(Ive asked him to but he hasnt shared). Its being excluded and feeling like I am no longer needed that really hurts. I know my husband cares about me, but I feel like we’ve lost that special bond between us. Should I just give up, or is there a way to get him interested in me again? Would he be as upset if i was using porn?
I understand what you all are going through ladies…I am gay and have the woman role in a gay relationship..its the same thing with straight people as with gays..My bf also looks at other men…At times we are watching on TV…He see a good looking guy..He says ” He Looks HOT”…It hurts me so much..I does feel so insecure, like am ugly and not attractive..I does cry in myself…It feels so award….He sees the way how I react and yet he continues to do it…I told him once abt it..SERIOUSLY spoke to him..He asked me why? I was like I don’t like it..I doesn’t feel right..But He finds it so normal..If am going anywhere and I see a guy who looks good…I won’t be staring down the dude…If the dude walking towards me…then thats a different story…I have to look because he walking towards me and I towards him…But I dnt be fantizing that I am in his boxer, looking at his dick and he fucking me…NOOO!! But my BF does that…And that hurts me so much…AND eventhough i said that..THat wouldn’t change at ALL…
RENEE: I read your post and GIRL..I am experiencing the same THING…My BF into webcam sex with other men and porno…He lost interest in SEX…He dnt like it anymore..And I feel am at edge and soon going overboard …ENDING this relationship once and for all..Because in the HONEY…They won’t change..and IF HE AINT CHANGING NOW…HE AINT EVER going to CHANGE…
It has become an addiction…same thing with my MAN…I don’t care anymore and you shouldn’t either…Becuz if a man LOVES YOU…He put your desires infront..Because a relationship is abt 2 people not 1…If someone really love you they would want to make you happy..and by all means…Have sex with YOU!!…From what am Seeing…He has his own desires to please and don’t care abt mines…So that means…FUCK HIM…
SO I am going to end my relationship..and if you wanna see a change…Make him choose ..either yOU or his porn?? He would be glad you using porn because then he won’t be botherd with sex..But takes away the special that couples share…
In the end..You should decide…
Good luck
Call me crazy, but shouldn’t a relationship involve maximum trust and minimal game-playing? If a person loves you, they should listen to how you FEEL (this means you don’t accuse them of anything) when they do something that bothers you and the two of you talk about it and work it out from there with open, honest communication. If you feel that a person is not sensitive to your feelings even after you try to talk to them about it, drop him *or her). If he tried to deny something, definitely drop him (or her). Let him/her go be with someone else who is more “secure”, in other words, someone who is so desperate they are willing to be disrespected.
I have come to this website because this topic is a constant struggle with me and my live in boyfriend. He constantly looks at other women, and we have had nasty fights about it. He has lied to me about porn in the past, and actually admitted that “before he loved me” he fantisized about other women that he saw in the street. I am so angry I am to the point of leaving, and all he says is “you want me to wear blinders all f*****ing day??!!!???” and the truth is, I do. How do I respond to him in a way that he will understand?
This is ridiculous. I’ve been in a serious relationship for years, and I’ve never had a problem with my boyfriend checking other women out. He’s sweet, thoughtful, and always wants the best for me. He knows about my insecurities and has always been there for me to help me out with them. I remember the first time I thought I caught him staring, he started to cry, and explained how much he disliked being falsely accused of doing things such as that–because he just wasn’t, ‘that kind of guy.’ Us women tend to have paranoia when it comes to things like that, due to our insecurities, and before you men or ‘confident women’ get all riled about this, take this into consideration… The media, magazines which litter shelves, porn, etc, all of it has beautiful women, and many times those beautiful women wear little to no clothes…where’s all the barely dressed men?! Sure, there’s some, but nothing compared to how many women are out on display.
To feel beautiful, many of us women feel as if we have to top THOSE women in order for our man to be satisfied. However, ladies, if you meet the right one, this isn’t something you would have to worry about.
I met the right one, and every day feel more and more confident about my appearance and the stability and loyalty of our relationship.
Men don’t HAVE to look. That’s utter BS, and that’s also only thinking with the left side of the brain. It’s ignorant. If we were all ruled by our instinctual ways, then there would be no such things as loyalty or commitment. It’s called self control. If your man isn’t willing to control himself for you, then find one that will
I can totally relate! I was married to such a guy who made me feel completely horrible. Some people may say to take control of your feelings because it is ME who is making myself feel horrible. However, it is difficult to argue with when my ex used to stare at other women, threaten to stare at other women, tell me that he wished I looked more like the women on some skanky magazine such as Maxim, that I was attractive but he’s seen better, etc. Later, he would apologize and say he didn’t mean those things only to turn around a day later and say that he only said that so he wouldn’t hurt me. Had he told me the truth from the beginning and stopped flip-flopping, it would’ve been easier to trust him! Why is it so difficult for men to tell the truth when you insist that lies hurt the most? Because I think deep down many men are like children who had cease to grow up…they are scared of the outcome, or of looking “weak!” Nonetheless, my marriage was abusive overall and we ended up getting a divorce after 4 years. However, I then got into another relationship not too long afterwards bringing with me all that baggage. This new guy knew everything that went on with my ex and the newfound insecurities that I had. He even said that he would be by my side ready to help me with my problem. Unfortunately it didn’t take long before I would question and accuse him of staring at other women. He would deny, deny, deny…and in the beginning, he also cried like the previous funny. As with some carefully planned tactic, he managed to flip the whole thing around, so that I ended up comforting him instead! Anyway, turns out that those tears were just fake in the end after I grew to know him more intimately, as well as finding porn of big jugged women all over my computer! This coming from a guy who thought he was almighty and telling me to go to church to fix my mental problem. Presently, I am not into a relationship because I can’t live my life accusing men. I don’t need the stress, the lies, nor do I want to put someone through the incessant accusations. I am unsure how I would be at this point after being single for 3 years but I am too scared to test out the waters. I do wish, however, that more women would stand up and respect themselves when their men start to ogle disrespectfully. Perhaps that would give men the wake up call that they need to keep their eyeballs in their sockets.
ok ok so i get it! its just men what they do yada yada… i guess theres comes a point when you get real sick of this shit they say they love you but you really start to really wonder it is so disrespectful and rude period specially when they make a sound or are like damnn i mean grow up and quit acting like pigs it is degrading and makes us not trust you as we think you are weak and given a chance what you would really do…
I recently moved in with my boyfriend and notice that each time we go out, I almost dread it. No matter where we are, there he is, checking out the candy aisle! I’m like, why?? I am attractive, you chose ‘me’ and you are supposed to be my ‘best friend’ – how can one not know how painful it is to stare incessently at members of the opposite sex. Two weeks ago at a music festival, last weekend at a summer event, to last night at the ice cream parlor – a young girl in line with short shorts and a tank top. It is NOT my imagination, so I won’t even tolarate such lame excuses. I literally watch him, watching them – eyes moving from top to bottom. It’s like he has absolutely no ability to resist! Boy do I feel SO dumpy and ugly when he does this. After all, I do not do it and am completely focused on him. Women are emotional, men are visual, but ALL of us have the ability to control our actions if we truly care for the person we are with. He won’t even allow me to apply at the place where he supervisors work because he does not want men ‘staring’ at me! HA!! I think I will insist on working there just so this happens, so I can get some self esteem back. He does not want men staring at me but he stares at women in my presence constantly. I won’t even go there with him, because 1) he will lie about it and 2 ) he will accuse me of being jealous. Instead though, I’m sizing up my own decision as to whether or not his good points outweigh his bad ones. This is the one bad one that could drive me away though – and it increases more each time we go out. He should not have to be scolded by me like he is a child. He is a grown man and if he can’t conclude on his own that what he is doing is totally unacceptable, then he’s just too ignorant for me to begin with
Good luck ladies. I sure do feel your pain!!!
I think that all these ladies talking about how it is rude are right, I look at women to and I don’t want to . I am in a long distance relationship away from the woman I love and I think it is rude to look at other women even if she isn’t around. I love this woman and I want to be the best man for her, so women just know there are guys out there who just want to be yours and respectful of you as much as you are of them.
I THINK THERE SHOULD BE MUCH MORE MOVIES OUT THERE OF NAKED MEN AND NOT NAKED WOMEN (WHERE IS THE FEMINIST MOVEMENT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT? AND EQUAL RIGHTS?) LETS SEE HOW SECURE GUYS WILL FEEL WHEN EVERY POSTER ON THE STREET WILL BE OF SOME HOT HUNK NAKED GUY AND NOT A FEMALE (LOOKING LIKE A PROSTITUTE) AND WE SHOULD ALL START CHECKING OUT OTHER GUYS WHEN OUR GUY IS LOOKING AT US AND TALKING TO US!!!! LET THEIR SELF ESTEEM DROP TO THEIR UNDERWEAR!!
All you women who have posted on this site are the dumbest broads on the face of this earth. You guys just don’t get it.
Oh…and BTW that guy Mark who commented a few postings ahead of me is obviously a lonely suck-up. Does this guy impress you? This is the man all you women dream about.
Why get married or in a relationship if you cant respect your love one.Yes a glance here and their is ok, but men staring at other women like they have never seen legs, boobs, or so forth is just plain stupid, Therefore, men why make excuses, promises, and so forth you can’t commit too.?? Yes women look at men to but the difference is the majority don’t slobber like men do. Please, be real men are PIGS, no matter what they wont respect or follow through!!!
hey to all you woman out there who have issues with your man looking..well i hate to be the one to be the bad guy/girl here..but here is some advice..number one…i hate to say it..but if you see your man looking and i mean staring,smiling at other woman(my man did)and yes it hurts especially when you know you look good and men are looking at you too…how do you look?
soo here we go…give him a dose of his own medician..it will be hard for some of you I can tell you all have been hurt or are still hurt by your man..so next time you go out girls..those heels..super sexy..or that skirt you know he loves to see you in the way you do your hair your nails etc..dress up when you go out and make sure..he sees guys checking you out..and your eyes looking too..and if he flips out say baby i dont know what you are talking about..stay sweet..and smile..
when the tv comes on there is a cute guy…say damn…and if he says what..you say nothing…look and make sure the guys are waaaaay younger…or hotter…and do it casually dont ever let him know you are doing it on purpose..i can guarrentteeeeee he will eventually notice and you know what if he is throwing a fit you know its working and more than likely he will be watching you more than other woman…believe me if you do this right…it will work and if anything else it will show him how it feels…goodluck woman love you all…
These women are not the dumbest broads out there. And if they are it is because they deal with the males in this world. It is answers like that ,that get women pissed off at men. We are sick of the crap you men toss us and when we stick up for ourselves were dumb broads or we are b******. Men like you are the reason women are going for single adoptions or sperm banks with no commitment to be married or even with a man. Us women needed men for two things a lay and a check, now that we can do those things without the male organ we are. Believe me the women that can pull this off are insperational to other women. Believe me when I say women “get it” thats why males are needed less and less by the female population. So continue to make jabs like that to women and the only friend you will end up with is Rosie and his sisters…… so enjoy. Us women will keep enjoying the BOB and the babies without heart ache or the male sovenistic pigs.