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Why Do All Men Look At Other Women?
23:55 by Cindy English · 110 Comments
This has got to be the world’s dumbest question
Here’s my answer:
Ummm…because they are not blind???
Ladies, how can you expect your man not to look at that sexy woman that just passed by?
He’s normal isn’t he?
He’s just married to you, he’s not dead.
It is positively stupid, but women do expect their men to just “quit looking” the minute they commit to a relationship.
Is that reasonable? You know that men are very visual. That’s how you snagged him in the first place isn’t it?
Face it, a well tanned, toned, scantily clad female body is a thing of beauty – to anyone.
Everyone knows it.
Guys drool over it.
Women count it.
Advertisers thrive on it.
Why?
I think it was “Sable” from World Wrestling Entertainment fame who said it best:
“For all the men who come to see me and all the women who want to be me…”
Hey guys…here’s a little secret. You know that hot babe that you were just looking at? Your wife was looking too!
What? No way!
Yup. Women look at other women. Women check out men’s magazines. Women watch porn.
No, not “kinky“…you wish! A lot of women are very critical, self conscious and insecure about their bodies. They look because they are curious.
Some women have questions about their bodies but are too embarrassed to ask anyone, so they “compare” themselves to others to see if they are normal.
Sometimes, they just want to know if they “measure up” or if they’ve “still got it”.
As for the porn…
A Ladies Home Journal survey found that 47% of women reported using [tag-ice]erotica[/tag-ice] or pornography to heighten their sexual experiences.
So, the next time you want to gawk at that sexy chick crossing the street try to include your wife in the experience. You could say something like:
“Honey, that woman is really pretty, it’s just too bad she doesn’t have a beautiful, well rounded ass like you do.”
While your wife is appreciating you criticism of the woman’s flawed rear end, you will have a few more seconds to zero in on her nearly perfect boobs!
Seriously though…ladies, unless your husband trips over his tongue and inadvertently pushes you under a passing bus while looking at that other women…lighten up!
Misplaced [tag-tec]jealously[/tag-tec] can create unnecessary problems in a relationship!
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Hey I if men so need to check out the all chicks why even be in a relationship? Doesn’t a relationship hold you men back from all of your viewing pleasure? I am married and yes my husband told me how he likes to look at other chicks so guess what,,,,he can have all of the looking he wants & when he wants a piece he will have to do more than kiss my a**. And I so agree with Mindy but I am going to take it a step further and really put more heat into my outfits even when I go with him to see HIS buddies and the crude guys he works with.
Well my trust has been completely destroyed. There I was just yesterday feeling like the happiest girl on earth with such a wonderful fiance. But I know his history, and when he was with his ex fiancee. He told her at the beginning of that 6 month relationship that he liked to chat to other woman on line. She was fine with that. He ended u seeing a woman from the next behind her back, he said not to have sex, just for a friend.
He said he wasn’t happy with his ex fiancee, that it was something he wanted at the time and got carried along.
I told him if he told me that he like to talk to other woman, at the beginning of our relationship. I wouldn’t of given him time of day. I told him I don’t except that behavior!
2 years later, It’s my turn. I have been with him for just over 1 year. We are engaged, and getting married next year and trying for a baby now. I do have a problem with him looking at other woman, and just the other day, he looked at some busty woman on a bike when he was driving.
But I trusted him. I though he’d never hurt me. He’s ofter tells me I am his world, and his life and that I am the most important thing in it. That he worships me.
I logged into windows live, which I haven’t done for months, and I seen his profile on there, and he added 10 women in Aug 2010. 2 of which are busty dark haired woman, 1 with just a bra on, other one looking provocative with low top, another woman, and several older one’s about his age.
I felt so hurt, and wondered why he had added these. Where he find them?
A few months ago, I got a recommendation off facebook to add the person with same name as my fiance. I looked at his profile, and on his friends were all woman. I emailed 1 of them, asking if this was the same one as mine. As his privacy settings were set so I couldn’t see details. But she said it’s him from that school and age. So he went to same school as mine and was same age as mine.
Upon confronting him. He denied point blank it was his account!
When I confronted him yesterday about these other women on windows live. He denied knowing them. He said he never seen them and don’t know who they are.
I said they would of come from somewhere not thin air. He said the name may of pooped up when he was on line to add them. But he denies even chatting to them.
Before he came home, I sent him a snip of his page to prove what I had seen. He deleted the 2 busty ones. and Said the rest he used to talk to 18 months ago. So why has he suddenly re added some,
The trust has totally gone now for me. I don’t buy his bullshit about not knowing them.
His X fiance warned me last year that he would chat to other woman, and to cheak his phone. She said don’t trust him.
Don’t know what to do. I couldn’t even cuddle him last night or get the picture of the woman off his windows live out my mind, and that face he added them!
jealousy is a normal part of the human mind, we have strong urges to control our entire reality including what our partner does. In the end people need to communicate with one another, its essential to our existence, coming to terms with this will help take your relationship to the next level.
This does not include cheating. be faithful to your partner and his/her reasonable expectations.
men r just stupid!!! they never know want. just ignore him too. for example, when a girl passes by i know he is looking… but, instEAD I JUST DONT LOOK, AT ALL!!!!! BUT, WHEN THEIR IS A YOUNG GENTLEMEN WALKING AND SUDDENLY MR….. LOOK A LOT WANTS TO CONVERSATE, TO GET YOU NOT TO LOOK. LADIES IGNORE HIM…. PAY HIM WITH HIS VERY OWN COIN
I’m man and I’ve been married for 1,5 years. In the beginning of our relationship between me and my girl friend, I used to like her, but I used to staring at other women as well. Even when we are getting around, I could not stop myself and stared next to her. I did not know she noticed that. She told me plenty of times that I shouldn’t look other women but I lied and contiuned.
We didn’t have a serious fight until we got married. Indeed, I couldn not change easily when I got married coz changing isn’t easy as you think. She started shouting at me and we had lots of terrible fights. When I wasn’t with her, I used to staring other women. When I was with her, I was arefully not to look other women but I used to “notice”. Coz it was my damn habbit. So, women are not stupid as we think, she always understood that I used interested with other womens appereance. Why did I do that? She gave me everything and she was so hot.
I was very unhappy coz of the fights we had, but I really got unhappy when she wanted to divorce me. Not just unhappiness, I would die if she left me. Once, I looked busty woman next to her, she noticed and told me how she got sad, I wanted to commit suicide even I attempted. Eventhough I didn’t want to divorce and loved my wife, I couldn’t stop looking other women. Plus I didn’t want her to wear short clothes coz of other men. I was selfish.
I thought about this topic a lot. I researched about it as well. And I got it that I see women as an sex object. Why? Coz I learned like that from (men)society, televisison and internet. Everywhere has naked women pictures, every movies has naked women and every men talks about women’s appearance.
I decided to change my vision. It took a little time. Firstly I forced myself not look, I succeed. Secondly I tired not to even notice if there is naked women, it was a little hard but I did it. In the end I think that ” Women r like us, human, we have just have different thing between other legs. Does it worth to think about it all day, sh*t your life and thinking about it all day like an idiot? No!
Now, I don’t think other women hot or attractive for me. My wife is always like that already. I’m careful not see naked women, not coz I might get hot, coz I will start again thinking that women as an sex object. for instance If I watch TV and if I notice naked or half naked women, I change the channel. On street I always turn my head if there is naked woman. And I really do it easily. When I do speak with a woman, I don’t think she is opposite sex and she has boobs ect.. I think she is a human like me.
So, we stopped fighting long time ago, we have a good relationship now. My wife was patient and trusted me to fix our problem. My advice; if you have a bf or husband who looks other women, you should talk about it seriously and give some chances to stop that. If they don’t, there is nothing to do. He MUST want to stop.
I just feel when my husband search young sexy model on the net that that is what he loves and not me. I thought he had stopped he did some sex chatting 10 yrs ago and I said happens again and I will leave,but found out he did it after we had sex the other day, sex that I think he really enjoyed, think I do alot more for him in bed than what he does for me. I do my best to look good and get compliments about my appearance from others, I feel it is time for divorce after 20 yrs of marriage. Does men not knowwhat they want? I am 45 and dont want to be compared with a 19 yr old he’ll find himself without me
Women watch porn. BS ive been trying to get my woman to watch porn she wont. Anyway i can’t stop looking its nature
I used to be with a complete asshole who did this all the time. I dumped his ass and am now with the most wonderful man in the world who does not check any other girls out when we are in public. It’s not self control. He doesn’t do it because he loves me. It’s that simple. We ladies, women, girls all deserve that.
I am tired of books, magazines, society, and especially asshole males and even women defending this behavior as a natural instinct or evolution or science. It is not rocket science! He just doesn’t love you enough or think you are beautiful enough if he is doing that to you. If he is hurting you then he does not love you. You deserve so much more! Don’t buy into this bullshit.
There was a time in history when it was acceptable for men to cheat on their wives, for men to take on mistresses, for men to treat us like slaves. There are still women today who accept, condone, and practice polygamy. Why?
Not because they want to.
Because they buy into this PROPAGANDA. Because we buy into this propaganda and nonsense. Because we want to believe that there are justifiable, reliable answers for when he hurts you. Because you want to believe that he really loves you.
IF YOUR MAN IS LOOKING AT ANOTHER WOMEN WHILE IN YOUR PRESENT HE NEEDS TO BE CONFRONTED WITH THIS QUESTION RIGHT IN FRONT OF THAT SAME WOMEN QUESTION IS DO SHE HAVE SOMTHING I DONT ,OR DOES HER PACKAGE COMES WITH MORE BENEFITS BC ,HIS ASS WILL GET DUMPED ON THE SPOT,AND ANOTHER WAY TO BREAK HIS ASS LOOK AT NICE LOOKING GUYS MAKE HIS FILL LIKE SHIT HE AINT THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN LOOK ,YOU NO YOUR LOOKING JUST TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE SHIT IN THE FACE TAKE IT A LIL FURTHER GIVE THE GUY A COMPLIMENT AS WELL EITHER HE GONNA STOP HIS FOOLISHNESS OR SETTLE,MAYBE FIND SOME ONE WHO WILL PUT UP WITH HIS BS ,IF ITS MEANT TO BE HE IS GONNA DO WHATS RIGHT ,AND GIVE YOU THE RESPECT IN LOVE YOU DESERVE….
its shit. my man would actually stop and trun around to watch a woman walk by while i was with him… or stare over my shoulder while out to dinner together at a woman sitting behind me.. i finally called him on it and he told me TO GET MORE SELF_ESTEEM.. are you serious? get more self esteem? i dont need any i need a man with morals and a ibt of respect for his partner and walked out. i talked to him a few times after that but told him if it happened again i was done.. i am now married to a DIFFERENT man happily.
I think Dr. Nasi hit it right on the nail. My husband has a habit of staring at women. In brief, I am a model looking type, have a lot of self-esteem and confidence. His habit has gotten so worse, he tries to reverse it by trying to make me think I am insecure. Women don’t fall for that trickery. All men are not like that. He is the FIRST man I have seriously dated that displays so much disrespect. I was so blind when he did it the first time while we was dating. I had never encountered such experience, so I was in denial. Now, it is going on 4 years now, and to this day, we still have arguments. Before I married him, he promise to stop and he had control. Sad to say, he did it on my wedding and honeymoon. He is so memorized with looking at half-naked women. I have caught him watching porn on the televison, in which we cancelled; I have caught him watching it on the internet in the past. It is so unfortunate because he is an excellent provider, cook, caring, giving. We are a wonderful couple in the house. As soon as we go outside, it turns into hell. We just had another argrument that I have not gotten over. Of course, he doesn’t think he did anything wrong. He has convinced himself that I am jealous. I JUST WANT TO BE RESPECTED. I know it is human nature for people to look at others. But when your man, husband or BF make an extra effort to look, NO WOMEN IN HER RIGHT MIND wants to feel disrepected. I wish I could have saw his true colors before we slept together. He was nothing like this. After sleeping with him, the nightmare began. If he doesn’t seek help, life is too short to continue to live miserably. I was patient for 4 years…enough is enough. If he can’t respect me, someone else will.
Having experience the entire “head turn” thing as well as hearing my husband talk with men amongst themselves about “hot” women , I admit
I find it to be the most gigantic turnoff.
I totally agree with some of these comments. If men need magazines to look at and other women to stare at, then they do not need a girlfriend. I realize it’s normal to see someone that is attractive, but to continue to look is another thing. Yes, there are other attractive people in this world. Yes, I do see other attractive men. No, I do not fantasize about them. No, I do not stare at them. No, I do not even find it right to watch a movie with a naked guy in it. Yes, I WILL look away from the screen. I do not care what anyone else thinks on this matter. I have my own opinion. And my opinion is, that if you love someone, then you should only have “eyes” for them. Meaning, that you should only want to see your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife. I really cannot stand magazines, movies, and society in general with it being a man’s world. Everywher you look, there are naked women or half naked. What happened to self respect? I do not care if I was the best looking woman in the world, I would never be naked for the world to see me. My body is for my man to see and for no one else to see. And should be the only body that he sees as well. Jusy an opinion. Oh and another thing, if you actually fantasize about other people in your mind, your cheating! Yeah, when you think about someone else, your cheating. How would it not be cheating? My guess is that if you had some alcohol in your system it would be easy for that person to get you to cheat, if they tried. Fantasizing is something we do, when we think we will never be able to do it. But, if given the chance we would…Just another opinion. No offense to anyone. We are all different. I guess. :-/
it’s the medias fault tbh naked or almost naked girls everywhere you look it’s encouraged look at what rihanna does on a daily basis… if it wasn’t pushed forward as ‘acceptable’ and people complained more about it women wouldn’t have to come on forums and complain about their men looking at slags, and girls who have low self esteem that feel the need for attention to dress in that way are to be pittied also if you fear your man would prefer a girl who exploits her feminine assets in public over a classy girlfriend who gives him everything he needs then he obviously isn’t the kind of man who is worth your time as a classy lady (remember this if he doesn’t have enough respect or morale for himself to contain the urge to eyeball breasts and ass everytime it’s hanging out infront of his face then he doesn’t deserve you). There is NO excuse it’s not a part of being a man to stare at women’s bodies it’s perverted and there are lots of decent self respecting men who don’t do it… not to be confused with a simple glance at a pretty girl with clothes on (come on girls you know we notice them too) and exactly that a glance can be forgiven but a long ogle at a half naked hoebag is not acceptable. I agree with the ladies who commented previously either play them at their own game and look at other guys while they are there or leave them and let them realise the mistake they made by getting a chance to date these half naked lesser catches (they’ll come crawling back). The most important thing to remember as women is to always respect ourselfs and never accept less than we deserve
Hi dr nasi I must say u r a good man I read your story and your wife should b very happy for how u hav changed that is a blessing because I was goin thru the samething and lik myself I hav everything goin on fofor myself an a very beautiful woman but still. Got the same results an fussd wit my man but not to get into details it didn’t go so well because of that but I jus want to say thank u caus now I know that there r men out there that can change to b with that special one
men are pigs.. they are tho.. oh if a girl gets all upset about a naked woman on the screen the guy is like oh stop being childish or your just jelous. but in a movie if you see a guy naked your man is like eww what the f*ck.. their the ones being childish.. reason why they don’t act like this as much as woman because 99 % of movies have naked woman in it.. i mean if a woman is straight. why in their normal mind would they want to see another naked woman. To me that it’s disgusting and these woman have no moral respect to themselves and to everyone who sees it. who in the right mind would want to marry a woman who has had her body exposed to the world. But you know the guys are gonna pick up for the so called “hott Chick” because they got their dicks up and they are pissed because they havent’ seen your body to comment on.. to me men are pigs. and always think about other men.
Nature or nurture? I guess we will never know. But it is true that everybody looks at everybody. However, it’s the way that men look and when they look that upsets women.
Now my husband seems to notice anything young and female, particularly if that young female happens to be blonde. He always tries to deny it as if I’m dumb. It seems so compulsive and automatic that I think it must be nature. As his wife it’s just annoying and embarrassing. I typically ignore it and actually roll my eyes while he’s looking at whomever. I tell myself he’s the jackass with the ring on window shopping. Why would that girl even want a jerk like that? Not so fast. Plenty of women fall for it. She’s thinking: “ I’m so beautiful compared to that hag of a wife. I feel sorry for that guy. He deserves to have the love of a hot young thing like me!!! “ This is the real shame of it, in my opinion.
Unfortunately looking at other men doesn’t help. Your man knows it is not feminine nature to ogle or want to screw some random guy for the heck of it. You’re looking at some man is not a real threat to your man. Also, you hot girls that have men that still look – you’re in a better position to get back at him because other men are definitely looking at you. THAT is what pisses men off. Unfortunately those other men that will be looking at you will sometimes be attached. So frustrating!!! I think men look because they can and they are perpetually horny.
I think it’s the beta guys that ogle the most because they don’t have Hugh Hefner’s resources to be able to keep a harem of hot girls around that they can bonk at will. If only they weren’t so incredibly obvious about it, they could stop so many fights!!! So what’s a girl to do? I always try to look my best, tell myself it’s his problem, ignore it or if it’s blatant walk the hell away. I also give myself carte blanche to look at other men I find attractive and dare him to say a fuckng thing about it. I refuse to let his porno eye ruin my equilibrium or self-esteem. Life is too short.
I know it makes us feel bad and insecure but the most beautiful women in the world go through the same thing so don’t let their pee brains and big egos define you, They can control it but seriously men are really STUPID and just get dumber as they age.
all men look other men look at me and my husband likes that i would only get mad if he looks at ugly women get over it stop trying to make your man act like a woman
well,my bf looks at othr guls wen v r out.i hv told hm mny tyms n hv caught hm too bt he turns bak 2 look at hr again .this is smthng vry disrespectful 4 me.i hv tried 2 convince hm mny tyms bt still he does ensuring tht i dont get to knw.bt i knw evrythn g he does.dont knw how shud i stop.i hv strtd feelin insecure.i hv strtd hsvin doubts abt my beauty.dont knw.bt ths really makes me cry.wt to do??
It’s part of a male’s biology, it’s in their genes to be seeking out mates, even if they dont want to. It’s simple as that, they cant help it.
Well, here it goes, as a guy who recently got married I have had a big problem shutting down this habit. I hate it. I have been looking at women this way for 30 years. I mean it really sucks! when you are a kid watching cartoons you see the wolf see the saloon girl and his eyes pop out and his tongue rolls out like a red carpet but when he see’s the large woman he runs straight through a wall and leaves his silhouette trying to escape. as boys growing up we are bombarded with images and the mystic of the woman’s form. this kind of brain washing sucks and is not fair because women try to emulate these sexual images so when ever you see something that resembles the image you have this incredible impulse to assess and evaluate. it’s not so much a feeling that you even want that person but just that novelty of seeing something that resembles the constant perfect images walking around in real life. women complain but then again, its hypocritical if you are in a relationship and you wear make up. are you really wearing for him? If you say yes I wear it for him, then why do you not wear it at home if you don’t plan on going out? it is just going to have an affect on other men who grew up trained to notice the tools of attraction. look I’m not defending nothing just explaining that a life time habit to be shut down automatically is unreasonable. The more you complain about it the more it becomes like forbidden fruit, like telling someone not to think of pink elephants and then it becomes hard not to think of them. I feel if a woman doesn’t want a man to look they should never go out of the house because the outside world is full of advertising women. if you saw a rare sports car driving on the street the kind you only see in magazines believe me, you will turn your head. Well imagine going outside and everywhere you look you got em driving all over the place. women should stop dressing provocatively and realize that its difficult for men to try to not look at women walking out side everywhere. Women are trying to compete in a contest of who can where the least amount of clothes and wear the biggest mask of up. Its annoying. Believe me I feel the most amount of peace when people wear clothes and don’t show off their bodies. I don’t go to strip clubs, they come to me. even girls who aren’t hot but naked would get attention. guys don’t walk around in underwear and super bodies so girls can’t relate and brag how they don’t look. Guys wear baggy clothes and are not used as much as women in sensual promotion in everything even hamburger commercials for crying out loud. Guys wear baggy pants and shirts and suits. even formal wear for women is provocative. can a man over come this? of course, but he will be going against his whole life time of training to look and ever growing world full of people trying to get your attention. so it will take time and effort. I love my wife and I am with her all the time. I try to not look and am trying. I would do more for her than any of your men would do for you, but its not without difficulty and she is worth every effort.
I just want to make it clear that yes it is possible to stop looking. Our actions are just that, our actions. We are not robots that can not override our programming. I just want to say that it is like playing dodge ball every day each day. That is ridiculously annoying. And the women who complain must ask themselves if they themselves dress provocatively when they go outside when they are in a relationship because they contribute to this. I would imagine if I just dangled my penis out of my pants people who look regardless if they liked that sort of thing or not because it stands out. Now staring is up to the person. The more I try to stop this sort of eye candy impulse the more I realize how bizarre our society really is. No matter the temperature or occasion you will see women walking around wearing scantily clad apparel. Now ask yourself something, does it really matter if an article of clothing is denim or cotton shorts or not if it covers the same percentage of your flesh as a pair of underwear? Or if your clothes are so form fitting it looks like near body paint? If you ask me the drug dealer is just as much to blame as the drug addict. If you are at the beach are you not wearing intimate clothing? Are women not wearing bras designed as casual dress, come on people wake up. Women, as just as easily to blame as the culprits for this crime as the guys are guilty for looking. I see women in the office wearing form fitting skirts, form fitting black or grey dress pants where the buttocks are clearly defined and you want to be treated like equals And not sexual objects? You go to church, school, college, and it’s all the same thing. What a joke! Wear clothes people and cover your bodies, quit wearing make up like glamour models and watch how little guys notice or are no longer tempted to look. So to all the guys out there getting bashed for responding to the life time of Hippocratic brainwashing you have received, try to be respectful to your girls but realize they are not free of hypocrisy and blame for soliciting this response. To all the women out there Dress like a guy, and you will be treated like a guy. Dress like a guy and you will have no more whistles , double takes, heads turning, cat calls, Nada, zip, zilch, nothing, zero because truth be told women in there natural state dressed conservatively are not attractive. Maybe you can say beautiful or pretty or what ever, but not (ATTRACT-TICE). They will not attract attention. If you dress like your in the bed room you get what you give.
I have had this conversation with my now fiance for the third time. I don’t see why men would feel the NEED to look at other women when they say they love you and only you and that you are the most beautiful woman to them. I don’t care if it’s “habit” or “in their nature” that’s bullcrap. He said that “I feel that it’s okay to look at the menu but just not order”. Now THIS made me angry, this hurt me. Can you tell me how many people who go to a resturuant continue to look at the menu after they have ordered their meal? NO ONE, because once you’ve ordered you made your decision and you’re SUPPOSED TO BE happy about it. I told him this is something I believe, and why couldn’t he just respect me when it came to this. He thinks that I look. I promptly told him that there is a severe difference between looking at someone and checking them out which is what you do. He says no I just look, when you look at someone you look at them as a whole. I said NO, you don’t look up and down their legs five times, turn to stare at their ass, and do everything you can not to drool over their cleavage.
This will always hurt me and he says that he feels horrible. I am overweight, he says I’m not THAT fat but I know I am. Then he says I’m average. We also have a baby on the way. I just want him to stop. Just please…stop.
My flirt friend said,it is free to watch but no touch.We can’t stop guys admiring or still want to have that kind of sexy look from a woman and it is important for a wife not to be a nagger and always be sexy because even you are 25 years together with 12 children and dozens of granchildren,it doesn’t mean he/she is always loyal to you.
Just wanted to add that. It doesn’t matter how hot you may be, guys who have super models as girl friends look at women walking by. Women who are heterosexual look at other women’s breasts and bodies….why? because women walk around in public showing off their junk and its natural for men to look at that when its out on display. women need to learn that they don’t look at men as bad as men look at women because men wear clothes and cover up their buttocks, penis with baggy pants and shirts and don’t ear make up.
so the day women stop wearing form fitting clothes like tight jeans, underwear at the beach (bikinis) and tight shirts or a lot of skin and make up…..That will be the day that men stop looking.
STOP BAITING and SOLICITING us men and Blaming us for noticing. PUT ON CLOTHES AND COVER YOUR JUNK PEOPLE! lol
Just look at the picture up above with the man looking at the girl. compare how the two are dressed. Should the women be praised for her ability not to look at the man? He doesn’t have anything out there to see. Now look at the Girl. This is a game of guys having to not notice them naked but girls have it easy because guys are covered.
Just buy him sun glasses.
If you feel upset its because you feel that your sole contribution to the relationship is your appearance ranking on the hottie scale and his attention to another girls body indicates he is drawn to something better than what you have to offer.
if you believed your partner was with you because of who you are as a person, then you would not feel threatened by him looking because you know you are not competing against women beauty but you have him for other qualities not comparable to physical attributes.
I don’t feel bad if my girl looks at other guys because i’m ugly as hell. so I know it’s not the reason she is with me.
With that being said. Girls show everything they can legally get away with in public by wearing form fitting jeans and tight shirts. Guys like seeing this stuff, it has nothing what so ever to do with them not being in to you or trying to hurt you. They just love eye candy. so yeah by him sun glasses
We’re all human; that, I understand completely. But just because we’re human doesn’t mean we don’t have feelings. In example, if I’m out with my husband and we both clearly see a hot/beautiful/cute woman walking by, all I ask, and hope, is that my husband understands to respect me and not point her out to me. I know she’s hot. I can see it— Just don’t treat me like I’m one of your “boys”. I’m your wife. I don’t need to hear how hot she is or what kind of body she has because I repeat, I see her. You can do all of that when you’re with your boys; not with me. Respect is all I ask. Because trust me, I’m a woman and I look at men too; believe that. But I know better than to obviously set my eyes on him and point him out to you. It’s common sense.
If he sees a woman showing off an impressive body who cares? Is it illegal. did you disclose to him prior to your relationship that you were going to chaperon his eyes and steal his freedom of sight and what he is permitted to look at with them. They are his eyes and in his head. Guys like eye candy. That is all it is. quit feeling so insecure about your worth as a person. Do you want to hide every woman out of sight to him also? every magazine, movie , news anchor woman? should he concentrate on not seeing anything that threatens you? good grief, what a bunch of cry babies.
I think that when a man stares at another woman in presence of his wife/gf in such an obvious a abnoxious manner it is not acceptable. It’s okay to look but staring is creepy and disrespectful. I happen to be reasonably attractive I’ve gotten 9 & 10′s I feel that when a man glances at a woman, I’ve seen the female respond so negatively. When I walk in the room she starts to grab his hand, or move closer to him it makes me uncomfortable. A glance is just a glance you do not own his eyes. Better that the women see me because I coyly flash my right hand end of discussion, I’m still pretty and he is just being man. It’s terrible when you can’t trust your partner!
I think women should not take it personal or be offended because that is a personal insecurity thing. You should not feel as though your worth is your appearance and your man is with you for this reason and any attractive person is a threat simply because your man acknowledges this fact.
Men asses wide hips small waist, sizable breasts , height degree of fitness in muscle, skin tones, skin health, hair, facial coloration indicating health walking gate and posture. all these things are programmed in the mind for suitable partners, which make healthy off spring.
when a man falls in love with a woman his ability and desire to asses and evaluate the imagery that stimulate his mental programming doesn’t shut off. It doesn’t program its self to only recognize this woman he is with. believe me I wish it would!
If he stopped being attracted to these women which is what our wives and girl friends really want, that would also include you. Then there would only be love, which for a guy would seriously compromise his ability to get an erection.lol
women don’t need to be turned on to get pregnant, but guys do need imagery to perform the act, so guys are visual more than women have an excuse to be. The love he posses makes him fight this programming but its still there. if he doesn’t look he still wants to. Its not personal. he will not go and chase after her.
If you are deeply upset you have issues. An attractive person is trying to get attention and has nothing to do with your man wanting to trade up. that is a ridiculous notion. Men simply like to look at eye candy variety. It has nothing to do with their hearts or their mates.
Women will never understand this concept because even if they restrain from looking at men that they would like to look at, men and women are still two different biological designs. Sexually, men are biologically and socially aggressive while women are defensive in the game so to speak.
So unless you somehow remove his sexual neurological glands and reproductive organs, his sexual engine will continue to acknowledge the imagery that stimulates it. This is why he wants to see you naked. You posses shapes and curves that register in his mind as female.
If he doesn’t look at other women who might posses these similar shapes and curves, he still really really wants to.
There is still something to be said that he also posses love for his wife or girl friend which he doesn’t for the simple image walking down the street. However with that being said. Men should understand that women will never understand this concept and should try to accommodate them as ridiculously impossible as it may feel when women solicit attention with make up perfected faces, in their never ending battle of female glamour competition.
When a man is with a woman he should resist his urge to look at the woman like a magazine picture if only for the sake of making your woman appear to others as though you no longer have interest in female anatomy
your wife wants to believe she has reprogrammed your biological design with her all consuming movie magic love, which made your brain only recognize her specific female shape as being female. and all other female images now appear to you receptive brain synapses as dudes.
This will make her feel better. Funny thing is even if a man doesn’t look, does it matter when you know he wants to?
However remember that self restraint with time will become habitual, just as not restraining. Even though you want to look and she wants you to pretend you don’t, try. Just try. You have the ability no refrain, so don’t lie to yourself., If you have a cousin you mentally program yourself not to check her out, as you do your mom and your sister.
It is by no means EASY, but possible and if you knew how painful and humiliating it is to women (who don’t and never will understand what it is like to be a man) you would give every effort to think as all those images walking by in high heels, tight or form fitting clothes make up, and hair salon (look at me) tricks and tools….as your sister.
P.S
the more porn,picture, videos and tv you watch the harder this will be to overcome.
and yeah I think someone mention sunglasses. Thats a good Idea but I’m sure everyone already knows and does this.
Opps I also forgot to mention that yes I know blind men can get an erection. There are four ways men get erected.
1 physical stimulus which is not as fast as visual,
2.visual which everyone assumes is the only way
3. mentally, which most women rely on, but takes longer.
4. and being very relaxed, this is why you wake up erected when you are asleep, very comfortable, knocked out, or hanging.
I believe they should only look at u but my husband still looks, so I cheated on him that made me feel better when he looks, then I told him I did he was heart broken but he stopped
You guys nees to lighten up! I have been married 25 years,I still look at other women as does my wife with guys it is only natural and doesn’t anything other then ‘checkin someone out’.
Being married is about good days, bad days, good months, bad months, good years and some bad years……for better or for worse, get on with it as long as you love each other even during the bad spots.
The grass is not always greener!
Chris your ranting is defensive, illogical, irrational, and trying to escape blame for your actions by blaming biology/programming and other women for being attractive to you.
“its hypocritical if you are in a relationship and you wear make up. are you really wearing for him?”
Are you aware that people often dress and wear makeup…for themselves.
Staring at a girl and fantasizing about her is not the same as a girl wearing makeup because she wants to wear makeup. Staring at a guy and fantasizing about him would be the same.
“I feel if a woman doesn’t want a man to look they should never go out of the house because the outside world is full of advertising women. ”
This is why your ranting is illogical and irrational it’s based on your “feelings” rather than logic.
“. And the women who complain must ask themselves if they themselves dress provocatively when they go outside when they are in a relationship because they contribute to this.”
They do not contribute to it. You are in control of your own actions and it’s quite illogical to shiftblame and try to involve someone else in what you chose to do. That’s like me blaming choosing to look at a guy and saying he shares responsbility for my actions simply because I find him attractive.
Many men will say that looking at someone you find attractive is normal and finding someone attractive is normal.
That is true.
The difference is that most men don’t look and think she’s attractive rather their physical attraction is really sexual attraction.
People appreciate physical attractiveness however most men don’t appreciate it as in she’s pretty/hot rather they “appreciate” attractive women as sex objects. They are choosing to look at him and mentally fuck her or view her sexually as body parts (t*ts, ass).
Men rarely think of women as sexual beings they think of women as sex objects because most men cannot think of women as human beings. Science has proven that when a man is attracted the part of his brain dedicated to using a tool is active.
In an era where mankind is supposed to be so evolved and mature, men are anything but that. Men will argue that calling them a dog, pig, or getting worked up about them staring & sexually thinking of other women is irrational and rude. The difference is that they are choosing to do this & defend it. If all men who have a partner they claim to “love” and choose to look at other women sexually, enjoy it, and defend it they must all be dogs.
Men, even when properly fed and nurished with a loving partner they find attractive who they claim to “love” will still always nibble or druel over other meat. Yes women are just that to men, “meat”.
Men don’t care about how the woman is satisfied FULLY in a relationship. Notice how sex is a duty but communication isn’t a duty? Notice how they can use their “emotional” need to show love physically to make sex a duty/obligation but women can’t use any emotional reason or any reason out of physically incapable to “deny/withhold” sex from him as it’s using sex as a weapon.
Hence most do not give up porn, naked women, checking out the hot slut across the room, or anything else involving “meat”. Most men will fill a womans ears with lies to get them to shut up about him choosing to check out other women sexually or view porn.
I won’t sugar coat it and neither should anyone out there.. men don’t give a F*%$ about what women want. They don’t care when the woman only has eyes for him, he is still going to choose to look at the porn to view the WOMAN and look at he pussy and tits and imaging fucking the life from her. He is still going to chooose look at other women and rather than find her physically attractive he will find her sexually attractive. He won’t think she’s pretty no most men view women as body parts..he will see her as t*ts, ass, or an overally body he can have sex with. He will defend him choosing to do those things as biology.
Most men ARE animals and to treat them anything but an animal is rediculous.
Looks has nothing to do with it ladies. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world and he would prefer something else to look at and desire. Men can not commit to one women or think of the woman they claim to “love” needs if it means giving up hist voluntary actions involving meat.
There’s a difference in being sexually attracted to another person and choosing to look at other women sexually and then defending it.
Ladies.. most men will not give up looking at other women or porn up for you simply because they do not care about you. They will not give up any act they voluntarily choose to do if it involves meat aka mentally fucking women in magazines and computer screens, viewing other women as body parts, looking at other women sexually.
No they will defend this and then coming back to you when they want some of your “meat” .
Men and women are not so different when it comes to sex.. the only huge difference is that men are selfish assholes who want everything all the time from anybody in site.. and women want to give pleasure and receive it also.
The “men” commenting here, who are adamantly (look up the word, dumb-ass) defending their behavior by claiming they evolved from monkeys and are programmed to look at other women, basically *are* animals themselves. What they don’t realize is that not all men (or women) are as low on the evolutionary scale as they are.
Judging by the horrific grammar and inability to correctly spell any word consisting of more than 3 letters, these guys have an IQ < 100. So they pretty much are intellectually closer to animals than human beings, and that is why they act that way. No offense but most guys pulling that crap are minority men, and yes, many minority men are stupid and/or uneducated. So that is the problem, really. Women just need to stop screwing those types and getting knocked up, because trash like that shouldn't breed.
I'm not saying that smart white guys don't notice attractive women, but most have the class and intelligence to not obviously stare, drool, or turn their heads — especially when their girl is with them. They have respect for women because they have the ability to reason, and to think before they act (they aren't animals).
Blatantly staring at other women around your woman has the same impact to her as her publicly announcing that you have a small d!ck, or that you don't make enough money. Get it yet? It's about respect – that is all.
Oh, and newsflash: not all us hot chicks walking want your ugly face looking at them. Especially if you're poor and.. well, you know.. ghetto.
well, my mother taught me that all men look and an old lady in her forties told me so too. They said that it’s okay, just as long as they don’t cross the line. example. Flirting and sex etc. because we look too. I see many attractive men all around me everyday and I look. Because I like what I see, but just because I looked doesn’t mean that I want to sleep with the men. They also told me that when we start making a big deal out of men looking, we will only make them resent us and become spiteful in return, where they will pursue looking and even flirting with other women. It is in a mans nature to look.
But I must also say to men that – If you want to pursue looking and lusting over other women, then your welcome, but don’t try and control how your hot girlfriend dresses and don’t get jealous if she just so happens to look into the direction of a really hot man, because that’s what you are doing and claiming it as your male right to do so. When you try control how your gf dresses your taking away her right to be sexy and attractive the way you find other women, your destroying her sense of self and acting selfish. Remember that the hot brewing anger you feel in your chest when your gf ogles at hot beach boys is exactly what she might be feeling when you ogle at hot beach babes.
But it shouldn’t be that way. A beautiful women is a beautiful women, and undeniably women do admire other women. It’s just the factor that we might loose our bf to one of those really hot women that we tend to become fearful and that turns into ugly jealousy. But women, take heart, a man is with you because he loves you, not the other women. They look, you can look too. Teach yourself to admire good attributes in other women, so that when your on a day out, don’t focus on your boyfriends luring eye, but instead try admiring the beauty in others. That way you will feel better and more confident about yourself because you will not have to vent of jealousy, but rather feel inspired by beauty. Also always try look your best and never let a man control your style or what you do and where you go. If he starts doing that it should be a red flag that he is only going to make your life a living hell.
I know this through experience. My ex boyfriend destroyed my life and today I am much more stronger because of it. And my father has controlled my mother all her life, what she wears to what she does. and today she wishes she had made different choices.
But you can’t try and change a man. Just love him as he is and don’t pay attention to his luring eye. Ignore it and pretend that you don’t see it, but make it very clear to him that if he ever crosses the line then he must take his things and leave. Always make sure he knows that your independent and can pursue your life without him. be strong and confident, admire other’s beauty and love your husband and never, I repeat, never! say no to sex! (of course don’t act like a whore and sleep with everybody, sleep with your husband) If his not getting it from you, he will look for it elsewhere or even wank it of himself. Also always look your best, remember when you first started dating? don’t change when things get comfortable, stay the same sexy foxy lady that you are, spice up the sex life and have activities in your life that doesnt include him and make sure he has activities that don’t include you. that way he will always be comfortable and not feel suffocated by you. but don’t allow a man to cheat around however he wants to, the first time you can give him a chance, but the second you should be filing for divorce. If he starts cheating you will not be able to change him but only have more sorrow. it’s not worth it.
Always welcome your husband with love when he comes back from work, always treat him like a king and always compliment him in bed (that way his more likely to experiment with other things) Don’t nag about past problems, don’t nag about house chores, just smile and wave. but don’t let him think his in control of you, there should be a clear understanding of equality, but try let your husband be the one to bring home the food and supply the most money, so that he can feel he is king but you are still your wonderful self.
Anyway… I still have much to learn and am pretty sure i’ll have much heartbreak in my life, but i hope i can be a great wife someday.
Sorry Guys, but I am going to have to sell you up a river. I was one of you. I thought it was impossible not to look at women. So I will tell you what the deal is truly, this way you can decide if its worth it or not. I’m a guy who was horny like crazy. porn, masturbation 15 times a day, I looked at women with the longest stares and it got so bad to the point if I didn’t look or I missed a opportunity to look it bothered me.
ok with that being said I think you will all agree I had a problem.
Now I used to argue justification for this like crazy and became good at it. It of course bothered my relationship but I insisted and with so many men doing it, my case looked pretty convincing that it was just a guy thing.
I probably have all the women anxiously waiting what i’m going to say next and all the guys cringing.
so ok guys…. If you stop
1. looking at porn
2. looking at magazines, pictures, billboards, tv shows with girls
3. masturbating
Then yes, you will be able to have the power to no longer look at women. I know, because I have done this. this was the only way. why? because if you are trying to put out a fire you have to completely try to put it out with all your efforts, otherwise it will just flare up with the next great looking wind that passes by.
when you look at all these things and in your mind entertain sexual images while masturbating you feed the sexual part of your brain that actually develops and creates more of an addiction. Guys are more visual than girls, I believe because they start younger and society allows them to be these sexual horn dogs out of control. Women can never understand because since youth they have practiced self discipline because society finds it unacceptable otherwise.
now heres the scary part you need to consider before trying this. are you ready?
If you stop looking at pictures and women and masturbating and such,
YOU WILL LOSE INTEREST IN SEX………not completely, but you feel the same way about it as your wife. Meaning, if you get it fine, if you don’t fine.
Think about it, maybe not all guys will become the way I have but I was a crazy perv and in two months of doing this. I no longer get excited to see my hot wife naked. Its like I don’t really care. Now in order to turn me on she has to foreplay me the way Guys have to foreplay them.
My wife turned me into a woman!! lol I no longer care about looking at girls at all. I think paying to go to a strip club seems totally ridiculous LOL.
I think the fire just went out. I’m 30 years old and am cured of looking at women. I will see hot women walk by and now can resist, but my wife complains that I am not sexually excited when I see her.
so I told her this
Look, you have have the fire burning or you can put it out but its not just going to burn for you.
you can have the beast caged or let it out but its not going to just want to bite you.
don’t complain about me being a not being a normal guy and force me to not be a normal guy.
the female physical shape no longer stimulates my mind and creates a rise in me. yeah I’m sure it would if I went back to old ways, but it would only create the old hyper sexual deviant that never had the peace I do now.
So there’s my story take it for what its worth. I believe if you act like a woman you will become like one. If you want a happy compromise maybe you could still masturbate, but I don’t think this will completely cure the urge to look.
The brain develops in the area of exercise so if you are very sexual in habit the brain develops in that area. so if you are super perverted than you only get more so, if you do a lot of math you become more inclined in that area of the brain.
So be kind to your women because when tell them looks are everything so if we are looking at others, than we make them feel like nothing. Is it harder for men not to look than women? Yes, but women will never understand this or agree with you because they simply are not a man whose grew up conditioned the way we were.
they don’t know that looking is feeding simply the sexual eye candy appetite. They see it as betrayal, disrespect and simply rude….but thats because it is lol even if you don’t particularly want to run away with the eye candy and have the affair that all women think you would if given the opportunity
Men dress more conservatively than women do, but its not an excuse because self control becomes habitual over time and women could be naked and it wouldn’t matter.
so be kind to your wives and girl friends, They think your eye balls and sack balls belong to them. they will never understand the degree of perverts men are.
…and we don’t really want them to.
“never, I repeat, never! say no to sex! (of course don’t act like a whore and sleep with everybody, sleep with your husband) If his not getting it from you, he will look for it elsewhere or even wank it of himself. ”
That’s awful advice to me.
Never say no to sex? So what women should just shut up and put out because he wants to f*ck?
So a woman should be scared and in fear that her bf/husband will cheat if she doesn’t f*ck on command and put on her p*rn act because most likely just spreading her legs and saying hurry up & get it over with won’t satisfy him?
Hmm…perhaps guys should start being scared that they aren’t emotionally satisfying their gfs/wives. Or that if she doesn’t orgasm each time then she’ll cheat.
Uh how about no.
If a guy would cheat just because you don’t want to have sex with him at the moment he does….he’s honestly not worth it.
If a guy would rather have sex with you when you don’t want to rather than wank off…he probably doesn’t care much for your wants.
If a guy would rather get off f*cking you when you don’t want sex but simply never say no because you don’t want him to cheat rather than just masturbating to get off…..obviously sex is just using your body as a masturbation tool to him and your wants/needs are irrelevant.
Many guys will probably definitely appreciate the never say no to sex rule but I doubt many would appreciate the never say not no to let’s talk, take me out, or communication.
I think the best solution for us ladies to show men how hurtful their comments can be is to turn the tables and make our own comments, but with a twist! Yes men like to look at women because they are built to look for women to ‘bear their children’ but women are built to grow and protect their families with the best provider they can find. Ladies, stop worrying about your mens’ comments and start pointing out every rich man you ever see and point out what he can afford that your man obviously can’t… I’m sure they will get the point… Cause hey, it’s just in our genetic makeup to notice rich men right?
I don’t buy the bullshit that its men’s nature to look and they can’t help it. We are way past animals. We are intellectual being and have progressed past the point of uncontrollable animalistic thoughts. if you truely love someone you will obviously see that person as the most beautiful and desirable. I am married. And my husband claims he doesn’t look at other women. But I still can’t shake the feeling that he is lying. Probably because we women are told that its naturally men’s behaviour. I for one can stand the idea of my man looking at other women. It breaks my heart and feels like the ultimate betrayal. I cannot accept it no matter how many times I hear people saying its natural and deal with it. I can’t. I believe that if someone truly loves you they won’t even have the need or desire to look. I only have eyes for my husband. I don’t want to look at other men. And I don’t. I’m not aware of them or interested in the slightest, and I expect the same from my husband. If he look at other women its like cheating for me and disrespect. If you truly love someone you won’t even be interested to look. Its just something ill never be able to accept. And if its really a mans nature to look at other women then I don’t want a man. I would rather die alone than in the arms of someone desiring another.
Referrinng to the comments about online flirting, its a fairly new phenomenum known as cyber cheating. There has been some recent studies and the majority of men see such encounters as nothing more than pornographic material and away to assert their masculinity. However, woman see this as a betrayal because therir partner would rather talk to another women instead of them. It boils down to what one considers cheating and the majority of men see cheating as a physical act whereas women consider emotionally cheating a much more serious offensive. It all comes down to evolutionary instincts at the end. Women by nature want to set up home and raise a family men want to spread their seed.
I think nearly all men look. I think, however, a lot of men only do it when their wife is not present.
I have three brothers still living, each of them is married–from what I know about the personalities of their wives–I doubt any of them could get away with making comments about the beauty of chick A or chick B at the shopping mall–or to cast anything more than a very qucik glance at a voluptuous woman. Wives and girlfriends have radar for that kind of thing anyway.
However, even though my brothers are more discilplined than men in general, I would be very surprised if not at least one of the three looks at attractive women when his wife in not around. On the other hand, I don’t think any one of the three would ever go to a gentleman’s club or even Hooters.
If a woman thinks her husbank or boyfriend looks at other women even if he does not when she is with him, then she is either insecure or right.
OMG Michelle… I swear it’s as if though I wrote this myself!
MEN!!! This is NOT ok! It makes your woman feel like absolute CRAP when you do this type of thing. (A self respecting woman, anyway.) No matter how beautiful and sexy you think she is, when you look at someone else like that, or on porn, etc., she (at least I do) feel like I’m not woman enough for him. Then along with that…. sex life starts to stall. I don’t want to stand there naked for him after he’s been watching porn or magazines. I think to myself… “After he’s seen that, he has to ‘settle’ for me?” No. I’d rather not put myself through that and feel foolish.
We want respect. Stop being such horn dogs and get your shit together. Your girlfriend/ wife should be all you need. And if she isn’t… then you shouldn’t be with her.
Girls you need to understand reality. Men are never going to be what you want them to be, but they can behave better outwardly and not rub your faces in it. You should be aware of the fact that they not only look at other women, but desire them and would happily act on that desire if they thought they could get away with it. A relationship is an uneasy compromise. He wants you, he knows that he has behave in order to keep you, so he restrains himself. Don’t suppose that you females have the moral high ground though. Both sexes are trying to spread their genes. You limit his ability to do this and demand his devotion to you in order to give your offspring(genes) the best chance of survival. Girls (conciously or unconciously) flirt with other guys to keep them on the back burner, as backup in case the main guy exits the scene. Some reproduce with more exciting but unreliable guys while keeping their duller but more reliable main man in place to help bring up the kids. Love is an illusion, but as long as you keep that in mind, there is no harm relaxing and enjoying it.
Let me get this straight, you want to be treated like men but you want to act like dogs? I GET that you are visual creatures, I get that men are pummled on a daily basis by half naked women (a fact I didn’t consider until I was older and really started paying attention). They are on TV, sides of buses and even used to sell hamburgers however, you are not in a relationship alone! You are not teenagers anymore. Quit using lame defenses such as: All men do it, I can’t help it, Im looking but not touching e.t.c. You want us women to believe that you’re somehow at the mercy of your desires and it’s BS. It’s pretty much Peter Pan syndrome. You may be in a grown man’s body but, you never want to grow up. I don’t mind my fiance looking but, there is a difference between a casual glancie and becoming so fixated on your eye candy that you walk into things. My fiance came with me to pick up our son from school when this gorgeous woman walked in front of us.,.he almost took out a sixth grader because he wasn’t watching where he was going. So disrespectful! Let me put it in terms you men will understand. I don’t know if you know this but, you are sending the other woman signals…letting her know you think she’s hot. The other woman feels sorry for you because you are with a jerk! Also, you become known by that other woman as a creepy guy!
Danielle,
I think you are over reacting. The gorgeous woman has this effect on your man by definition – i.e. she wouldn’t be gorgeous if she didn’t have that effect.
Why do you feel bad? Because there is a danger to you. A better looking girl might steal your guy. Relax – a better quality guy might steal you! Why deny each other a chance for some brief happiness.
Of course it might be a good idea to agree to some form of medium term commitment before having kids or opening a joint bank account.
The dream: I suppose the problem is that many people see happiness as finding that perfect person, to whom they can feel totally devoted and who feels totally devoted to them. Objectively I suspect that situation could be unhealthy and restrict an individuals potential for self development – although a degree of mutual encouragement could be very positive. Subjectively it’s appealing, even to my cold heart. In such a relationship a man would still notice attractive women, and might still collide with the aforementioned sixth grader, but he wouldn’t seriously think of disloyalty to his partner. His partner on witnessing his behaviour would be amused, but understanding the closeness of their relationship would not feel threatened or disrespected.
So I would say keep one eye out for the dream and the other firmly on reality and making the most of life as it comes.
(Also, why not dump your guy as soon as you find someone potentially better? It sounds like you don’t feel at ease with him.)