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Top 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat
by Cindy English · 47 Comments
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The question is as old as the problem itself…
Why do men cheat?
Is monogamy really a myth?
Are guys predestined to cheat because it is human nature?
Scientists have long explained that men are biologically motivated to seek out multiple sex partners. This natural instinct ensures a healthy gene pool and the survival of our species.
If this is true, then one cannot expect fidelity from a man. It kind of lets guys off the hook when they wander doesn't it?
So why do they feel guilty? If it is a man's biological right to have sex wherever, whenever, with whomever, why should they worry about being caught?
Because somewhere along the way, self imposed "ethics" and "morality" placed restrictions on human behavior…including sex!
Perhaps if guys didn't seem to derive such pleasure from sex, it wouldn't be such a sin. Think about it. If sex with multiple partners were just another "chore" for men as cleaning house and cooking meals is to women, would we get upset about it?
Probably not…poor guys! 
Nevertheless…men do enjoy sex…a lot…and not always with their partner!
Here are their Top 10 reasons…
I'd like to say that they are in no particular order but, we all know what guys say is the number one reason that they cheat. Remember ladies, the jokes about sex ending when marriage begins, wouldn't be funny if there weren't some truth to them!
- Not getting enough at home! Women tend to get caught up in "life" and sex gets put on the "back burner". She may be bent over helping the kids tie their shoes but he's still looking at her "nice ass". God…is that all they think about?
- It's reassuring to know that he's still "got it". Time has a way of making us all feel less sexy and desirable. A little forbidden rendezvous can be a real shot to a sagging male ego.
- The wife just isn't physically appealing anymore. Face it, women do tend to let themselves go. Often they get too busy raising their families and neglect themselves. They are too tired to put on make up or do those thigh slimming exercises. The result? A sexy new secretary and whatdayaknow…"Honey…I have to work late"!
- Sex at home is boring. The wife doesn't like to try new things (or old things – namely, blow jobs!). To men, variety is the spice of life and he may have some sexual urges that his wife is not willing to fulfill. He may have some ideas that he would rather his wife didn't know about. Can you say "manage-a-trios"?
- He just couldn't say no. The woman was hot and all over him. It just seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity…too good to pass up. This is where the phrase "thinking with their little head" came from!
- The wife just isn't fun anymore. She worries, she nags, she fusses and they fight all of the time. He cheats to "get away from it all".
- He just doesn't love his wife anymore. And just how do you tell someone that tactfully? It is easier to have an affair than it is to deal with the pain and emotional upheaval of such a confession. On the other hand…if he is caught cheating? Well, the door is then opened for a speedy exit!
- The thrill of the chase is exhilarating. Some men are truly addicted not only to the act of sex itself, but to the hunt. They thrive on the rush they get when they are able to conquer even the toughest "ice queen". It's not about love, it's about control and winning!
- They cheat because they can. Many men know that their wives are insecure and dependant on them. They also know that low self esteem and a fear of being alone will keep her "in place" and "at home" no matter what, or who they do. So, why not? Variety – remember?
- And finally, men cheat to get even! It is an absolute blow to the male ego for his sexual prowess to be in question. Why else would a woman cheat on him? His own affair as a result, serves two purposes, revenge and reassurance of manhood.
There you have it…the Top 10 reasons why men say that they cheat on their wives or partners.
Are any of them "excuseable"?
Mmmm…a couple…maybe (although most women won't agree).
Are any of them "preventable"?
Of course.
Although monogamy may not human nature…it is a choice!
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a man will always be a man, but when it come's down to being with the same girl for the rest of his life..they get spooked out..is this the only one i'm going to have sex with? thing's like that. sometime's us women drive men to do that, and we don't even know it…and that is when women step in and say well if he did it to me once i could do it twice….
I just went through a divorce because the man I thought loved me cheated on me a month later after we got a house for a year. he said we wanted something different but in all actuality he married me for his citizenship. He is happy after all the using he did and still at times wanted to still have sex with me and of course I would fall for it. but now I'm the one all alone with this complex that there is no man that will want me and I have relayed back to being alone all the time with no one, dinner by myself no one to talk to and he is so happy!! and I cry every day when he is smiling and laughing moving on. It's like it's so easy for him to detach himself from me but I still have a hard time letting a man that I loved for almost 10 years and still do, let him go. I feel stupid, unworthy and so unpretty. I basically given up on love relationships and marriage. Just don't want to hurt anymore.
What a stupid article that is so loaded with BS!
I am a man and I can tell you we're looking for a woman to go with us through lifes adventures!
When a woman decides that other things are more important to her than we no longer feel she's along with us on the ride and the gap she was supposed to have filled is empty again.
This doesn't have to be just Sex, it can be time they spend confiding in us or just making alone time (for trips or dates) for us… Yes Sex can temporarily fill the void but it will never replace the other needs.
Ezer-Kenegdo was what was wrtten to describe Eve and God and it translates to something like life-giver or life-force which has so many meanings behind it in regards to children and spouse… When that becomes just Children then the spouse feels neglected.
Oh and I had an emotional affair that I stopped before we went the whole way but it was never about the sex, it was always about the connection I had with this person and the others I've talked to all started in a similar fashion so do some research before you print this tripe!
Oh and one more note…
I made the decision to start talking to this other woman and it certainly isn't all my wife's fault but it takes two of us to get to this point and neither person in a relationship should ever assume they're innocent of everything that has gone wrong.
i believe if a man has problems staying commited then the dumb man shouldn't be in any type of relationship.
and another thing God did not put men on this earth to treat woman bad and be nasty and perverted.
I did a google search just to find out what a male maybe thinking when he goes out to deliberately cheat and lie to not only his wife but the prospective would be 'other woman.'
I have all the anger towards this man for wanting to cheat on his wife, for presuing me for 9 months and behaving the way he did while presuing me. What upset me as the other woman, was he was dishonest.
Sure the marriage has problems and each to his own. But why be dishonest when your asked point plank, 'are you married?' and be told blantantly 'no, Im single, your the one I want etc?'
I dont think he liked treating me the way I felt though after I found out he was married. I simply said that if he respected me, he would of been honest in the first place and he has reduced me to nothing but 'fun' and a 'whore' and should treat me as such.
So he now feels guilty and in away, thats my revenge. I dont have to tell his wife. Thats not my job, but hey making him see how much of a slut I am and knowing he has just trivialised marriage and making me one, makes me feel satified in knowing he will think twice before cheating and being dishonest again.
men cheat because we need sex all too much. we really want our spouse to want more sex. we men wake up one day and realize that all this time we have had to beg for sex evertime we get it. and when we did get it, it was so so. sure we need to do more around the house, romance more, buy flowers for the wife…. but for many of us men, we are doing all these good things to no avail. we want our wives to want us. we want our wives to be the ones to show the spank on the butt when we pass by. the kiss and hug for no reason in the middle of the day, the ear listening about OUR day without interuption to a new subject would be good sometimes if the wife would only seem to care to hear it. what does a man do when he brings home flowers, wants to kiss and hug for no reason, does EVERTHING in the book as far as in the bedroom to try to get her to want to satisfy him in return for his satisfying her. nothing he does will make her want sex. we men need conversation too. we cheat when we find a woman that will sit down and LISTEN to us talk of our day with interest. it starts there then we realize this extra woman actually enjoys sex and then wow, we have cheated. put a ring on this new womans finger and TADAH!!! she is now the wife you started with…. why do woman change thier sexual interest once they have a ring on their finger? thats the reason why men cheat.
When we were dating, my wife was an insatiable minx. Within days of the wedding and moving into the home “SLAM”!” went the door to the pleasure cove. I bit down on the hook and swallowed it too. To make thing even worse, not only did I lose the “home court” advantage, but then all the “self-help” books about marital communication started showing up on the bedroom nightstand. Book covers with sketches of a woman hold a string attached to a man who is flying like a kite. WTF? I have the answer to the entire communication issue….. “Pumpkin, let me get the baby batter off the brain, and then I can have an intelligent conversation.” “Because right now, with all the sh* t I have to deal with, I’ve got ONE thing on my mind.”
I have my own theory about what I call the “the indoctrination session” in the fourth grade. (You remember….. the day they separate the boys from the girls for several hours? What do you think really went on in their room?) This was where the girls were told the true power of the world is between their legs. The boys are told about keeping your armpits smelling clean and how to maintain hygiene if you’re uncircumcised.
Women know exactly what they want. Control. Sex is used like a shiny lure to keep you interested and in tune with the task or demand at hand she wants accomplished. Any of us with experience knows women are experts at pulling back the line and winding up the reel to keep you floundering, even though you think you’re fighting.
There’s a lot, and I mean a lot of “girlfriend you too can get yourself a man you can train” books and other literature(?) out there for women. Tactics which run the gamut of putting out like there’s no tomorrow and then shutting off the valve until there’s a ring on the finger, to adopting a couple annoying dogs to see if your prospective mate will be good with children. And of course my all time favorite…. “If you think he is considering divorce, start running up all the credit cards.”
I will say this about middle age and beyond. If you take care of yourself as a man, you’ll age like a fine bottle of wine, and if you so desire, you can attract willing booty well into your 50’s and 60’s for the casual hook-up (formally known as one-night-stand). Meanwhile every gallon of milk has its expiration date. She may have sucked away much of your youth and most of your of your money, but her “best when sold by” days are numbered.
Now of course, women reading my email will snipe and snark that none of what I say is true and that I am elitist or too old fashioned in my thinking and must have been hurt in a previous relationship, etc, etc. In response I say this: My career path and skill set taught me something early on which I used time and again to turn on my wife and other women when they make such remarks as to my thesis. Deny, Deny, Deny, and make counter-accusations. They are indeed masters at it. But if you recognize the tradecraft, you can beat them at the head games they love to play..
Enlightening for a lot of men I am sure.
Reality is, most men cheat on their wifes because they are disrespectful, mean, manipulative, or ignore them. Most men understand that there are grave consequences to leaving their wifes, so rather than leave, they put up with their bad behaviors for the sake of the kids, finances and their outlining families. When they meet a girl that is attracted to them, that does not possess the same traits, or sees them as being special, it's not hard to see what's going to happen. Also, some wifes put the bar up so high the husbands no longer can get over it, so they have an affair to "end" the marriage.
It's not really about sex girls.. It's about the way the men are treated and respected. What does someone with a hot wife, body, and knows how to treat them, want with another women… Unless, the girl he's cheating on is a selfish, I come first bitch and puts her friends first…. If so, he' will cheat..and do so with his middle finger up… and by the way, don't forget..for everyman that cheats, cheats with a woman… So blame them just as much…
This article is BS! I absolutely love sex and my husband had an affair. I am a very attractive, successful woman, and I love sex! What's wrong with me? I had a child and he has new responsibilities. He started his relationship with someone else when our son was 3 months old. The sick part is that my husband cries all the time because I don't want him and his whore new he was married with a child. Some women have no morals, but then again, she wasn't married to me. Now the a**hole can wash his own clothes, cook his own food and tell his son, how he didn't give an sh*t about him. I think the bottom line is that "some men" are just irresponsible and can't deal with responsibilities in their life. Men are selfish creatures.
There is a REALLY good article called, "The Monogamy Puzzle" http://bit.ly/ak5yK and it is very insightful about our social mores and how our DNA is actually partly responsible for our tendencies to non-monogamy.
Remember for MOST of human history, men AND women were not monogamous…it is our religious and social evolution that has created the institution of marriage and all its benefits.
People must choose monogamy. It works if you work it!
Okay so there is a lot of bitterness here. It always goes back to selfishness and poor communication. Monogamy is not just social/religious. If you want to argue you have a right to "spread" yourself around b/c of some evolutionary perspective then you will just shut yourself to this. Life is about living, sharing, giving, growing, and trusting. Sex is a way to do that, but Real relationships can must have all these components. Cheating insidiously robs all of us from the real value of life. Don't cheat. Its only fun and shallowly feeding what is missing. It does not heal the hurt (for whatever reason) permanently and it often makes it far worse.
I actually enjoy sex to the max and I'm rather open to many sexual things with my husband. I feel that were married so why not give each other everything and in every way, before we got married I wasn't as sexually open so for me it seems to be different in that way.
Sadly my husband is stuck in Colorado and I'm in NY, now he lies so much I don't even want to talk to him. He cheats and I catch him because he forgets to delete his facebook sent messages. even after being caught he lies and says someone else broke in his account and sent those messages. he also accidentally sends me text messages meant for someone else, and the list goes on.
I suggested to him that we both find someone else until he's home and he was angry that I even suggested it and wasn't having it, then he accused me of already cheating.
I know why he does it but I would like to think if he expects me to accept it then I should have the same freedom to cheat, the difference is I don't find other men appealing in anyway because I'm in love with my husband. So I sit in tears and pain while someone else enjoys my husband.
I hate love!
A lot is being said about cheating, but I would like to know what you all view as cheating.
Is regular internet chats of a sexual nature with a particular person cheating? Is it only once penetration has taken place or only once there is emotional involvement. Is it still cheating if you allow your boyfriend to have sex with someone else in your presence purely so that he won't do it behind your back?
Where do you draw the line?
Sounds like its all about the man needs.
Phil….sounds like you hold some high standards about yourself, fact is your a cheater. What does it do to your ego after you have cheated? Is it great sex or your wife does not treat you like one of your wildest fantasies?
Confused, sexual chatting is cheating, and if you let your boyfriend have sex with somebody in your presence then you truly are confused! Leave him!
Actually, thank you guys for your insight. It is easy for a woman to neglect respect and not to whine about not having enough time, etc. etc. and drive her husband away. The day to day kicks in after the wedding and years go by, and soon enough, when you see your husband after work, it is all business… Split chores, kid stuff, etc. Did you do this, I did that, all that kind of stuff. I don't know how to change this. I try to do what he wants sexually, and I am in good shape and well groomed… I just don't think I can satisfy his emotional needs, and I know he is destined to cheat… He already has his porn… I don't know what to do. But thank you for your candid honesty. And ladies, maybe stop saying this is BS and try to recognize the honesty of these men and see your own man in them.
I'm the guy who wrote the article Doug linked above. I actually have a lot of articles about human mating from an evolutionary perspective. One of the things I'm trying to do is let people know that a lot of what we believe culturally is just not true.
In particular, I'd like to comment on Rachel's honest assessment of her relationship. There are some questions that she could ask, and I don't know the answers, but maybe whatever they are, they will give her an answer to the big question: What should she do?
First, taking sex out of it, does he still love her and the kids? If he were sexually happy, would everything else be ok?
If the answers to those questions are "Yes," then there are more difficult questions to answer. What if he had sex with someone else, but wasn't in love with the other woman? What would that mean? Would it mean he doesn't love his wife anymore? Yeah, it hurts when someone isn't turned on to us anymore, but once we understand that it's built into human nature, maybe we can remove ourselves from it a little bit. If Rachel is, as she says, well groomed and still attractive, then the problem isn't with her.
So, Rachel has other options besides sulking about until her husband cheats, and then feeling hurt and angry and getting a divorce. Maybe a holiday at the Bunny Ranch is in order. If he really just wants something different sexually, there are controllable ways to do it. He's not going to fall in love with a Bunny Ranch girl, and she's not going to secretly call him and try to sabotage the marriage.
Has Rachel got any interest in women? Maybe a threesome is in order. Does he ever travel on business? Maybe it's ok for him to have a booty call buddy in another city — again, someone who will get his rocks off but won't interfere with the marriage and kids.
It's dangerous territory, but honesty is better than lies. We don't like talking about it, but arrangements like these are not all that uncommon. Do they always work? No. Do they sometimes make things worse? Yes. But they do sometimes work, and if things are destined for failure anyway, why not try something unconventional?
Of course, there's the flip side. Is Rachel satisfied sexually? What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right? Any honest discussion about "controlled infidelity" has to go both ways. If Rachel's man is going to get his jollies, what are Rachel's jollies, and what does she need in order to get them?
The point is, sex with another person doesn't always have to equal cheating. It's not what the mainstream culture tells us, but seriously… do we really trust them? About anything?
This is awful, most women stay in a relationship and stay faithful regardless if her husband:dosen't have a job or struggles with addictiion, maybe he has anger management issues (not hitting her of course). Maybe he likes to hang out with the guys a little too much. Look I have been married for 18 years, I have never cheated on him. Him on the other hand blammed me for not getting enough attention or not enough sex; He cheated like crazy! When I asked for a divorce he cried! Men don't have the same back bone! If it was a women cheating like crazy it would be totally different! The real pain lies in the kids and the time lost. see; i told my husband "How dare your wast my youth, I could have spent that time loving someone else" Men need to understand that marriage is just that, a contract an obligation. Yes women have issues and do stupid stuff too. But there is counseling and if two mature people are willing then there should be reconsilation and a brighter future. We don't change our kids because they misbehave or ignore us, why do men do cheat? Because they want sex, period. They never learned self control from it. so during there teens and adult hood they had it with anyone that walked there way. Then they "Fall in love" they think they can exercise self control just because their bride is perfect. But when the perfection wears off, the old lustfull self comes back. Not to mention that guys tend to hang out with single friends thinking they won't be affected. that is all.. Men Grow up you are distroying women and children and frankly yourself. If you have never refrained from sex for a long period of time your not going to be able with a "the perfect wife". finally note: this country is being distroyed with children not being raised with their bioligical fathers. If your a father reconsider the example you are leaving your kids and future grandkids. I cannot be about you all of the time. reconcil with your wife, go to counseling, have date nights, if she won't get the babysitter you get it. work with her and save your marriage. God hates divorce because it sucks! my mom was married 3x, that was an awful child hood, not that i was abused because i wasn't. But all i ever wanted was my dad and mom.
i know what you mean. i am going thru that right now, my husband is from Africa and used me for his legal status in the states. i work night shift to make ends meet while he is out having fun with differnt women every night.
So does this mean that ALL men cheat? Should I go ahead and end my marriage (8 years, 3 kids, healthy sex life)? If my husband cheated, I don't know if I could get over it.
I would like some advice, my husband had a 7yr. affair with someone that we both knew. He got busted in the middle of it, when I came home from work early one evening, and then I found out that it had been going on for 7 yrs. Should I stay or should I go? It's been awhile since this happened, but it's the lies that he told me for 7 yrs. that still hurt. Just confused.
Okay, I'm a guy.
And this article is shit.
Pure shit. Enough said.
Obviously some manwhore posted this, I mean come on man.
Well Sal…if it's pure bullshit…enlighten the rest of us. You are a guy so tell us – why DO guys cheat?
men cheat because it's like the Staples big EASY button. It's EASY to go find someone who doesn't know you or your circumstances. I'm not a man hater, but I'm tired of stroking big EGO's. Yeah, I know , we women wanted equality…same pay,etc… and we provide a lot of extra things to life by stepping up to the plate these days. But we certainly don't need some hairy chested man to become a big cry-baby, saying he's "not happy" and we're "not fun" anymore. Jeepers.. maybe we're not fun 'cuz we still do all the 1950's crap our moms did and still manage to buy you that freaking 52 inch plasma TV, pay for your Harley so you can smooze with your other croonies that are cheatin' too! They want and all and then some! What's that song??? " Stroke me, stroke me". Well, after 25 yrs I'm done stroking! I'm wanna be stroked now. I want the EASY button for the next 25 years!!
How big is the problem??
If this article is true then men are just pieces of crap plain and simple. It does not portray men in a good light. According to the article men are moraless, selfish, disrespectful creatures who have no self control. And what about the women who would choose to have an affair with a married man? She too has no morals and no self respect or dignity. Men are to blame but they are not alone in this matter. A woman ( and I use this term loosely) who would flirt and seduce a married man is simply trash, or yet even better, a whore.
Oh yeah and DNA as an excuse…..ummm yeah my ass!
I have been with my husband now for 11 years and I just found out the he has been cheating on me with a fat lady she wieghts close to 200lbs. I am small with big boobs and an okay ass. I love to have fun sex and dont know why he cheats on me? what am i doing wrong?
I am a 34 year old man. I have been married 3 times. I am a member of a church that so frowns on cheating, like most churches do.
I do not like the fact that I cheat. Recently in the news I see that Tiger Woods is in hot trouble. I kinda feel his pain.
To all the women out there………………..We want to make you happy! I agree with some of the top 10 list, but I do not believe in excuses. My first marriage lasted 1 year, I cheated 2 times, no kids, then divorced. The 2nd marriage I cheated 2 or 3 times, 1 child involved and the marriage was 2.5yrs. I left the 1st wife for the 2nd, what a dumb ass on both parts.
Now for the 3rd wife. I don't deserve her. We have been together for over 10 years and married for 9.5yrs. We have 3 beautiful children together (this is the first time I have ever been this honest in my life & I am finding this some what hard to do). I love my wife, I love my children. We are about to have our 4th child in the next 5 weeks. I just ended a 1yr affair. I have never lied to anyone I had an affair with. I always made it clear I was married and that I was looking only for sex. I am not conceded by any stretch of the word but i know I have been blessed with good looks, a great personality and a great mind ( I am a computer engineer & self-employed).
I cannot count how many times I have cheated on my wife. 4 years ago or so my wife and I had a threesome with her friend. It did not cause any issues between us but I knew it bothered her. I don't think my wife is dumb and I know that she has an idea that I run around. I don't want to but in the last 12 months I have realized everyone has their weakness's, mine is sex!
If your reading this your prob. thinking I am horrible, and you would be right, I feel horrible, that's why I am blogging on this site at 4:35am in the morning on 1-7-2010. I want to be normal and be excepted as a good husband. I am a good father in the sense that I spend quality time with my kids and I love them with all my heart. I do love my wife. She has never done me wrong. I cannot complain about her. Sure I'd like to have more sex, spend more time with her talking, take a vacation, anything!
I wrote a list the other day of all the things I lack in a relationship, the biggest one was loyalty, honesty and monogamy. I would like to tell my wife what I have done wrong but I believe that it would not make things better but it would destroy us and affect my children. I believe my wife deserves better than me. Looks are not everything. I think my wife is beautiful and very nice, loving and all of the above. If there are different tiers of heaven she will go to the highest.
What I guess I want from blogging here is to close my ways of cheating. Some people look at porn all day, some people are addicted to food and are way over weight, some people talk bad about others and ruin lives without knowing or thinking about it. Some people kill, steal, lie and abuse others. My fault is cheating, nothing else. If you talked with people in my community, and I am well known, they would say I am a good husband and a great father and a smart business man. My shell I have created looks good but underneath I am screaming for help. I wish I knew what kind of help I need. I pray, literally I pray to god all the time, sometimes daily, several times daily, for help. I know he listens but Satan is strong and he knows what buttons to push. If anyone has a suggestion I am open to hear it. My email is ep_swat at hotmail dot com.
I don't want to lose my wife or my family, I do however hope I can start over and be not only a better man but a better husband & father.
To those men and women out there who are struggling out there, I hope you can find a cure or a way to stay with that one person and be content as I wish I can do.
Some will say it is easy, some will say "Just say no!", but in my world, its not that simple. I wish my addiction was cigarettes or alcohol, because then I could take a pill possibly or attend a meeting to find ways to cope. I feel alone right now and I need a hand.
My wife and I need a vacation with just us, we have not had one in our 9+ years of marriage, not even a honey moon. If I could afford one I would take with her. A cruise, a weekend in New York, anything. Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope I can either provide some en site or help for another.
Something I would ask my wife to do that I like.
1. Give some attention to me & I'll give it back
2. Talk dirty or spice things up in the bedroom
3. Have spontaneous sex and try different positions (I still love having sex with my wife)
4. Pick your arguments carefully and don't get so caught up in others problems or issues, we have our own.
5. Try and be positive. Negativity is contagious.
I could prob think of more but I think you readers get what I am saying. I don't want a divorce, I don't want to be with another woman, I just want to be happy with my wife and children.
Once I've met a fantastic man, the most unusual in my life. But his views on infidelity always puzzled me. He said: "Sex is neither moral or immoral, it's biological." I supposed that cheating was a normal thing in his mind. Frankly speaking, I haven't got enough courage to continue and decided to get rid of our relationship.
Any ideas on this? Welcome and share them here: http://www.edenfantasys.com/
will I am a man. men let there hormones ruls them and have their brain in thier pants. just a warning for men and boys out there making your wife cry from a affair her daddy grizzly isn't going to like you doing that to her. real men don't cheat on their wifes
Come on everyone…its just sex. We are sexual creatures. If everyone just accepted the fact that sex is just sex and its ok to have multiple sex partners, marriage and life in general would be a hell of a lot better. Its our own self imposed morals and values, that were human invented, that make us feel guilty and wrong. Its not wrong. We invented wrong. Many people in the world have open sexual relationships. You have one partner emotionally, and many sexual partners. Open your mind and at least just consider it. Don't forget, we are still animals as well.
This happens the other way around too. As the new wears off the relationship many men become more focused on their careers and take the wife for granted. The wife gets lonely and begins to feel the same feelings that this article claims men feel. He stops telling her she's beautiful, he no longer flirts and uses foreplay but instead, grabs directly for the crotch and expects her to be turned on, he comes home everyday and talks about nothing but his work or nothing at all but isn't concerned with what has happened in her day. Yes, I think men cheat for the same reasons women cheat but men cheat more often because they have less remorse than women do. A woman goes home feeling guilt and men go home feeling emmasculated, gratified, and justified. The most important thing that I think both sexes need to remember is that as the years go by we all want a life and a marriage that has escalated from love, to committment, to trust, sharing, and partnership. The big picture is about so much more than sex.
this is stupid!! i know…. lets all not be responsable for our actions! Must be writen by a Chauvinist Pig..ur an idiot..grow up…PLEASE stop giving advice cause u fkin suck at it!!
Thank you Jen – for such an intelligent comment. This "article" – not "advice," seems to have struck a nerve with you. People like you add SO much to the conversation but, you are entitled to your opinion – however you choose to express it! LOL!
I feel like in a marriage if the husband or wife starts to feel there are problems they should talk them out before making a huge mistake. Just because a man cheats you don't put all the blame on the wife and the other way around. We are all adults and should be responsible for our actions and grow up. Cheating and lying are 2 things I will not tolerate. I have had my share in 2 marriages with this crap and no more I am done.
Ya know, we are biologically designed to do many things we don't do. Of course we can say men cheat due to basic instincts and the same with women. Primate women normally seek out multIple males and vice versa. Yet women can continue to have sex beyond child bearing years. Why? Some speculate for the need to keep a male. After reading the above comments I can read the 'I am sucessful, self employed, attractive, etc. I know both men and women that cheat in marriges and other relationships. This being said I would like to note that we don't live in the jungle like apes, and that society today places a huge emphasis on sex than in previous years.
In my opinion the majority of people are cheating out of reason dealing with ones ego, self worth, self esteem, how they feel about themselves etc. Some women and men want to feel beautiful and loved and attactive and seek that out, maybe not getting it in a monogamous relationship. Furthermore if it's low self esteem it usually can only be fixed by that person. Some men and women need to constantly stoke there egos. I know single men that brag on conquest of married women in order to inflate thier own ego. He could just tell her to go home, but he's not man enough. Some know they don't want to be tied down, and they can talk about it, everyone knows it because they know themselves and it's all kosher. There is no reason we cannot express our intentions to one another, our desires, dissatisfactions and behavior. However, instead we often lie. To protect that same ego or to not deal with a situation or to not face ourselves or to continue to allow the other party to 'not' have a choice to end it.
Stand up get off your horse and be honest, check your fragile egos, and either don't freaking cheat or be honest and take the consequences. I My opinion cheating, then lying about it, then avoiding the consequece is a very selfish reaction. I think most men do it out of ego and women emotional reasons. Sort of like putting a patch on already fragile egos. Only you can generate yourself worth from within. not sure if lying to other helps the situation.
So let's say I enjoy sex with multiple people, but in order to do this I have to lie or cheat, because I maybe constrianed by societal norms. Not in today's world, there are plenty of ways to live that way if I so choose, but involving people with different views is probably selfish and ethically wrong. It's not wanting multiple partners that is wrong. It's how you go about doing it. I certainly would not want to be involved with someone I felt I had to lie too or had to lie to me. I do think that sometimes people want the person at home and the others as well, however, if you are married you should have a duty to the other person, they may not want to be treated like a trophy, but your significant other, the other parent of your children perhaps, some one you are lying to or duping, prolly deserves better. So you maybe lying to them. That does not sound healthy to me.
So instead of getting the other person to accept your behavior or lie to them be honest deal with the consequences and move forward. Should you be someone that defines there self worth or constantly needs to have there ego reinforced by cheating and lying, maybe you should consider some clinical reflection.
Wild Bill said it allllllll … Listen to the Man ppl!