In my opinion the majority of people are cheating out of reason dealing with ones ego, self worth, self esteem, how they feel about themselves etc. Some women and men want to feel beautiful and loved and attactive and seek that out, maybe not getting it in a monogamous relationship. Furthermore if it's low self esteem it usually can only be fixed by that person. Some men and women need to constantly stoke there egos. I know single men that brag on conquest of married women in order to inflate thier own ego. He could just tell her to go home, but he's not man enough. Some know they don't want to be tied down, and they can talk about it, everyone knows it because they know themselves and it's all kosher. There is no reason we cannot express our intentions to one another, our desires, dissatisfactions and behavior. However, instead we often lie. To protect that same ego or to not deal with a situation or to not face ourselves or to continue to allow the other party to 'not' have a choice to end it.

Stand up get off your horse and be honest, check your fragile egos, and either don't freaking cheat or be honest and take the consequences. I My opinion cheating, then lying about it, then avoiding the consequece is a very selfish reaction. I think most men do it out of ego and women emotional reasons. Sort of like putting a patch on already fragile egos. Only you can generate yourself worth from within. not sure if lying to other helps the situation.

So let's say I enjoy sex with multiple people, but in order to do this I have to lie or cheat, because I maybe constrianed by societal norms. Not in today's world, there are plenty of ways to live that way if I so choose, but involving people with different views is probably selfish and ethically wrong. It's not wanting multiple partners that is wrong. It's how you go about doing it. I certainly would not want to be involved with someone I felt I had to lie too or had to lie to me. I do think that sometimes people want the person at home and the others as well, however, if you are married you should have a duty to the other person, they may not want to be treated like a trophy, but your significant other, the other parent of your children perhaps, some one you are lying to or duping, prolly deserves better. So you maybe lying to them. That does not sound healthy to me.

So instead of getting the other person to accept your behavior or lie to them be honest deal with the consequences and move forward. Should you be someone that defines there self worth or constantly needs to have there ego reinforced by cheating and lying, maybe you should consider some clinical reflection.