Why Do We Cheat?
You Dirty Dog: How To Cheat Like A Man
by bcalendar · 3 Comments
Over the past few weeks, I've been giving lots of advice to women about cheating. I've taught you how to train your man, why it's good for a girl to cheat and how to cuckold your man to get the cock you crave.
But, a couple readers have asked me: What about the guys? Don't they sometimes need to cheat as well?
My advice for men is simple, really. I always tell men to be much, much more careful when they want to step out, for one simple reason:
You aren't very good at it.
Men have many talents, but the ability to cheat and not get caught is rarely one of them. You simply aren't as observant as we are, and you are often far less careful! That said, with a little planning and foresight you can get away with it. And, in the sake of fairness, I'll tell you how.
So, boys, here's what you need to know to get away with it. Take notes if you have to! I know it's hard for you to concentrate and multi-task!
• Only cheat with a married woman or a woman in a long-term relationship. Otherwise, you will get busted. Don't believe it if a single girl tells you that she “just wants sex.” That may be what she wants at first, but you run a huge risk of her wanting more later on – and that can be trouble. A married woman has just as much to lose as you do, and will help keep you on the straight and narrow.
• Don't tell your mistress that your wife doesn't understand you and that you plan to leave her. She may not only believe you – she may call up your wife and tell her, thinking that she's helping you make a decision you are too kind to make yourself.
• Avoid girls who wear glitter makeup. This is very popular right now and it rubs off on everything. If you come home and your wife notices a piece of glitter on your chest, it's all over with.
• Shower after sex, but don't use soap! You need to get rid of the girly and sexy smells, but if you come home smelling like soap your wife will know you've been a bad boy.
• Don't start treating your wife better than you have in the past. A lot of guys make this mistake, but many wives will realize you are feeling guilty about something – and that's when they'll start looking for clues.
• Never, ever have your mistress over at your home. Women can be very territorial and she may decide to “accidentally” leave a bobby pin or some other female trinket someplace where you won't notice it – but your wife will.
• Resist the temptation to suddenly buy new clothes or get a new haircut to impress your new mistress. If you've been a slob for years, your wife will know that another female has started to groom you.
• Don't start trying out new sex tricks with your wife that you learned from your mistress. Your wife pays a lot of attention to how you make love with her, and if your performance suddenly improves she's going to wonder who your personal trainer is.
• Get a pay as you go cell phone and use that for all communications with your mistress. Don't ever have her call your office, because the gossip will get back to your wife. Don't ever give her your normal cell phone, because eventually you'll forget to erase an incriminating text message.
• If you are a non-smoker, make sure your mistress is as well or else the smell of her cigarette smoke on your skin and clothes will give you away.
• Stick to oral sex and/or use condoms. The easiest way for you to get caught is to give your wife an STD. Remember, you are cheating on your wife – but your mistress may be cheating on you.
• Use Ashley Madison to find your fling. Don't try to pick up a new mistress in a bar or at work. Your odds of someone seeing you, or of your wife trying to set you up, are just too high. There are agencies out there that wives pay to send pretty girls as bait to their husbands to see if they will cheat. So, remember, that young girl who is paying you a lot of attention at your local bar may be on your soon to be ex-wife's payroll.
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