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Your Cheating Wife Does NOT Mean Inevitable Divorce!
01:15 by admin · 9 Comments
Finally, someone who gets it!
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I found this terrific article written by Larry Bilotta entitled: Does a Cheating Wife Inevitably Lead to Divorce?.
This article thrilled me to no end because finally, I found someone who thinks as I do about the whole [tag-tec]infidelity[/tag-tec] issue.
Stop pointing a finger and laying the blame and try to figure out the true cause of your wife’s affair in the first place.
She’s not cheating for no reason!
Larry Bilotta says in his article, and I quote:
…instead of immediately making accusations and placing blame, did you ever stop and ask yourself “where did I go wrong?”
If you haven’t…don’t worry, most men NEVER DO. What I want you to do for a moment is shift your thoughts away from all the information out there telling you to focus on “EXPOSING your cheating wife”…and shift your thinking to the following statement…
“Women DON’T LEAVE great guys.”
It’s true. Why on Earth would your wife fall into the arms of another man when she has a caring, compassionate and sensitive man at home?
So again…I want you to ask yourself…”Where did I go wrong?”
Let’s hear it for Mr. Bilotta! Finally, someone “gets it”.
It does “takes two to tango”!
The only reason you’re faced with a cheating wife right now is because your wife has a set of needs that you were not able to fulfill. But that’s okay because SHE did not communicate them to you in the first place, so you had no way of knowing what you were doing wrong!
Does this mean inevitable divorce for you? No!
I truly believe that infidelity is not an unforgiveable sin. However, we, as humans, handle it very badly. There seems to be almost an “unwritten” law that states that a cheater is “the scum of the earth” and you must divorce them or “lose face”.
Don’t fall into that trap. Don’t let society pressure you into a [tag-ice]divorce[/tag-ice] you do not want. Don’t listen to the “villian/victim” crap. Accept responsibility for the part that you have played in your wife’s infidelity and fix it!
Like Larry Bilotta says: “Women DON’T LEAVE great guys.”
Read his article!
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Beautiful Enslavement
I think its over.
Interesting post…
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“Women do leave great guys” . What a bunch of BS. What is more an epidemic is single divorced men / women, out to try and ” make things right with God”, But they refuse to think ” Did I do something wrong with God ?”. Most guys I know have a similar story….their wife hit their 40′s and got the early men-o-pause, then thought they made the biggest mistake in life to marry the person who has kept them safe so many years, without giving a chance to them to rebuild the love. Like an old car, “Let’s get a new one”, when really… if this car has been good to you….isn’t it better to repair it? When you think of love as “disposable / replaceable” , you are in for a miserable time. You will spend all your life wondering ” Why did I get rid of that car that never broke on me?” , but you will refuse to hear that. You will try and convince yourself you just “got a bum deal”. Enough said, only God and your belief in him can make you both find your way back. It has to be “real” that you know you are both with God, sitll keeping your VOWS…which were a promise to EACH OTHER SWEARING BEFORE GOD, IN GOD’S EYE !!!! The first marriage is the one you did. So don’t tell me how great the second or third was, cause it is NOT WITH GOD !!!
Oh my God ! Now I look and see the banners of scum and cheating being advertised on the banners of this page to my right here….. Like that will help…This site SUCKS !!!
This article and Mr. Bilotta are totally wrong. A betrayed spouse is NOT responsible for the deciscions of the cheating spouse. Cheating is a coping mechanism to the difficulties faced in marriage and life. Cheating is a very unhealthy choice made by one person alone to deceive and hurt many other parties–not just the betrayed spouse. Cheating is symptom of the cheater’s mental deficiencies. There are other, healthier choices that could have been made in response to any problem or unmet need–namely, communication. Or counseling. Or even divorce.
Lying and deceit damage a relationship for years, sometimes irrevocabily. Ultimately, anyone who cheats WILL cheat again unless the wayward spouse performs some serious introspection beyond the surface “You didn’t blow me everyday”, or “You didn’t let me max out the credit cards” excuses.
Serious introspection will provide the true reason WHY someone chooses to cheat. What did they seek? Validation from an outside party? Why? Because they felt unattractive? Why? Because of their self esteem? Why? Because they never really felt attractive to anyone? Why? Because they were used and tormented in younger years? If a person cannot find their own worth alone they cannot possibly expect a spouse to provide it for them.
Once the cheaters individual issues and methods of coping are recognized and addressed, only then can their marraige be addressed. It’s useless to fix the roof if the foundation is crumbling.
The betrayed spouse is not to blame for the choice to cheat– that’s total bullshit. That’s like blaming someone for making you eat a donut. The choice to eat a donut in response to a stressful situation is the same as the choice to cheat. No one is forcing you to eat the donut–that’s a choice made all on your own and it’s an independent action. The appropriate thing to do is to address the problem, not act out. The betrayed spouse has had no say in the infidelity, in that choice. In the time leading up to and during the time the infidelity occurs, the wayward has ALREADY checked out of the marriage. No effort by the betrayed spouse will be acknowledge, so how could that blame be placed at their feet?
Want real help? Check out http://www.survivinginfidelity.com and see what THOUSANDS know and experience and get the support and advice that really WILL HELP YOU. Not this numnuts. SI is a place for support of people experiences all aspects of affairs–and addresses healthy constructive ways to deal with infidelity.